Should I break it off with my girlfriend before Confirmation?

[PhilotheaZ]

puzzleannie, most of your advice is sound, but I think you misunderstood a couple of points the original poster made:

If you are living with the young lady but not having marital relations, no you are not committing adultery. You may be giving scandal to those who know you, which is another issue, but that is the proper concern of only a few people. … You are however setting and example for the child who lives with you and must be guarded in all aspects. You have also established, by virtue of the fact you are functioning as a household, a relationship not only with the young lady, but with her child …

This leads to a deeper issue you do not mention, which is how will children of this new marriage–if it happens–be raised? She needs to make no promise, but you as the Catholic party must promise to welcome children God sends you, to have them baptized and raised as Catholic, to the very best of your ability. You two must discuss this, and perhaps other issues you have not yet considered before you plan to marry, and should have discussed them before moving in together.

The original poster stated that they are NOT living together, and he does NOT want to marry her.

… Let me start off by saying that my girlfriend and I are not having sex, nor are we living together. I’ve been seriously thinking about breaking off our relationship, but I haven’t brought myself to do it yet, because I don’t want to hurt her. Now, because of something I’ve just read on another thread, I may be required to break off our relationship before my confirmation.

1. Was her marriage valid, and would she need an annullment for me to even date her?
2. Even though we’re not having sex, and at this point, I don’t ever want to marry her, have I been in an adulterous relationship just by dating her?

To TBolt1000T, you need to think about the purpose of “dating.” To quote Jason Evert’s website, “While there is nothing wrong with becoming friends and spending time with members of the opposite sex, committed relationships should be entered into for the sake of discerning marriage.” If you have discerned that marriage is not in your future with this woman, I think it is wrong to continue “dating” her.