Should I confess or not?

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yosi11

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I once had a sexual addiction…
And I think I’ve put my finger because I wondered how anal feels like (I can’t recall)
and I also had scrupulous thoughts
was that mortal sin or just my scrupulous thought?
should I confess?
If yes what should I say to my confessor?
 
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If you want to.

I don’t think you should worry. Also did the priest tell you you had scrupulosity? Don’t answer but think about it.

Seeing a cleric is better than asking us. Some of them are wrong sometimes but it is rare… and it is their job to deal with this in Catholicism.

Also: if you forget to confess something and you didn’t hide it intentionally you are already forgiven.

It only helps to confess old sins that are forgiven if you are trying to adhere to strict asceticism otherwise it can hurt you.

Protip: if you don’t know if it’s a mortal sin or you didn’t really really want to do it… It is not a mortal sin no matter what people here might tell you…

Edit:

If you ‘can’t recall’

I doubt you are being convicted of grave sin.
 
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If I want to confess what should I say?

I can’t recall the event that I did it correctly…

I’m really scared that what I did was grave sins…
 
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That is the problem. So do you think you commited a sin?

Ok…

So then confess… but the thing is how you have been presenting this lately makes me doubt your culpability because of my own experience… but I am not qualified to make a judgement.

Don’t be afraid.
 
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I don’t know…
Maybe…
I don’t know if it was just my mind or It was an actual event
 
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For you to be culpable for a sin you have to know it’s a sin in the first place otherwise you are a form of innocent in the matter.
 
That is also the thing that confuse me…
I can’t remember if I did it with full knowledge of sin or not…
 
Then it is not likely but you should probably go just so you can feel better… but as you progress this is usually not a good idea.
 
To go just to feel better…

There is a book called the spiritual combat that talks about this it has been popular amongst mystics for a while… you might not understand why now and that is ok.
 
I would accuse myself only of sins I can actually remember really doing. But if you are really troubled by the thought, just mention it in your next confession and try to overcome the shame. Even if it was mortal, mortal sins that we forget to confess and later remember are forgiven, we only need to mention them in our next confession. Finding a good spiritual director is very useful for combating scruples (been there, done that).
 
So you think that going for feeling good was not a good idea?
One of my pastor also scold me at the confession though because he thought that I go to confession and focused about my sin and not about the reconciliation with God…
 
I REALLY hope that God will send me sign to help me to tell if it’s sin or not…
 
No… that is not what I am saying at all… If you have scrupulosity obedience to the confessor will help you as well as learning to trust more in God’s mercy instead of being scared of the fact that we are all sinners. I don’t want to instill doubt or make it worse for you… It is a good idea to trust God and avoid shopping around on some of this because it can often make it worse.
 
I can’t know that for sure, maybe it is just a thought. But the best way to solve these problems is to find a good spiritual director, and then you can tell him your doubts and he can explain you how you should act. I had VERY similar scruples and I know that it can drive a person crazy. No books and no internet can help as much as a good confessor. Pray for that grace and pray to overcome the shame. I think that’s the greatest problem of us scrupulous, that we are ashamed to admit our scruples (I don’t know for you, but that was certainly the reason why I postponed finding a spiritual director to talk about it for so long).
 
It really drives me nuts because I can’t tell the difference of sinning or not…
 
And also, finding a spiritual director is great because you don’t have to torture yourself with analysing if something is a sin. You just tell him the scruple right away and the peace is returned. Pray for that grace.
 
That is why you need a regular spiritual director/confessor.
You clearly have a scrupulous condition at the moment.
It will never help you to come here and ask questions of amateurs who also don’t know you.
Just see your priest regularly instead of coming here.
Do whatever he says instead of gain-saying him with advice from nobodies like us.

Good luck.
 
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