Should I continue Writing? Help!

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identifyasCatholic

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So I have been rewriting a book for some months now and I would sometimes act out scenes or talk as the characters which is entertaining and helpful when coming up with new outcomes. Anyway, maybe over a month ago (or in August), _I was acting as one of my characters and then (this is embarrassing) but was in front of a drawer, leaned in, and then because this character is one of the love interests, i was acting like they were about to “kiss” (basically the drawer and me in reality) (also, when i would act out, it was usually just me talking not what I described above)
but then I stopped myself and apologized to God with distress (I always feel the need to apologize to Him throughout my day). Now, i want to write again, but I remembered this sin and can’t write until i know whether continuing to write this book (which is not an impure one) will lead to an incident like i described above. It is morally neutral or may even be helpful as the scenes portray coming of age.
So my questions: Would that have been a mortal sin?
And in writing, is this an occasion of sin?
Am I being scrupulous?
 
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If we aim for perfection and do not fall then we are not a true reflection of the human Christ who fell three times on his way to his crucifixion. Importantly is how we respond to a fall and you have a close connection to him, who saves. Jesus has saved you and on this occasion did so without the necessity of an ordained priest. Because it was not mortal or grave.
 
Maybe if you put it in writing whatever is troubling may make sense to you and you may discover something you don’t really see right now. Wanting another life, the life of your characters can happen at any age not just teens. When you will read back what your yourself wrote you may see things as if it was written by someone else.
It’s great you have the discipline to write an entire book of these fictional characters. As you do, you are also rearranging your own thoughts.
 
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