Should I date a non-Catholic?

[jredding]

I am 18 years old, so I am rather new to the idea of dating and marriage, but I have a very good friend who happens to be a female. We have decided to take our friendship to a new level and begin dating, but she is a non-Catholic Christian member of a “non-denominational Christian” church. She is a fantastic person, but she claims to be “110% happy” with her church and will not consider converting if we were to get married. It seems to me that many of her church’s ideals are matched by the Catholic Church, but I am not sure what to do. Is it wrong of me to consider becoming a member of her church, and is there a possible compromise that would allow me to retain my faith and raise our children as Catholics while not dismissing her beliefs?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

Before plunging into the world of dating, I think you need to take a step back and consider the purpose of dating. The purpose of dating is to discern whether or not you are called to marriage, and, if so, to whom you should be married. But what is marriage? Marriage, like the religious life, is a vocation that forms the couple in sanctity and gives each partner someone to help him on the road to heaven. Should the marriage be blessed by children, the parents work together to form their children in sanctity and lead them to heaven.

When we consider the purpose of marriage, we begin to see why it is a very bad idea for Catholics to date non-Catholics, particularly when an individual Catholic is not well-formed in his faith and is vulnerable to leaving the Church out of a desire to please someone to whom he is romantically attracted.

I’ve said this a number of times before, but it is worth repeating: Marriage is not an official stamp on a romance. You should not be seeking a GFF (GirlFriend Forever) but an attractive (on all levels, not just the physical), orthodox Catholic woman with whom you can live as husband and wife for the rest of your lives. That means turning down temptations to develop platonic friendships with non-Catholic women into anything deeper than that. A non-Catholic woman may indeed be a fantastic, lovely woman who will make a lucky man a wonderful wife and mother to his children. But if you truly care about her, you will free her to find someone who shares her religious beliefs and can help her to raise her children with her religious beliefs. As a Catholic, you cannot join her church or consent to allow your children to be raised as non-Catholics. Period. It is not a matter of “dismissing” or “disrespecting” her beliefs but of staying true and faithful to your own.

Recommended reading:

Why should I want to be associated with the Catholic Church?
Do you have to be “in love” to get married?
Is it a sin to marry someone you’re not attracted to?