Should i/do i need to tell my parents that i'm converting to Catholicism?

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i was raised in a non-Christian home (Hindu) and want to become Catholic. i’m 19, in college, thinking about starting RCIA. i’m pretty sure my parents would flip, and tell me to not join the classes (although legally they can’t really do anything) however, they’ll be angry about it and keep trying to stop me. so should i tell them or not? also what about the ‘honor your parents’ commandment? what should i do? thx

also when i go home sometimes from college, what do i do if my parents make me go to the hindu temple? can i still go, but like not believe? thx
 
XD1993 said:
i was raised in a non-Christian home (Hindu) and want to become Catholic. i’m 19, in college, thinking about starting RCIA. i’m pretty sure my parents would flip, and tell me to not join the classes (although legally they can’t really do anything) however, they’ll be angry about it and keep trying to stop me. so should i tell them or not? also what about the ‘honor your parents’ commandment? what should i do? thx
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Many people get confused on the fourth commandment, believing that “honoring” parents means obeying. This is true for young children, but not adults. We honor our parents by giving them respect. We do not obey them, we make our own decisions.

You will have to decide when the time is right to share the news with them, that is part of being an adult. You can frame it as sharing news, not asking permission.
XD1993 said:
also when i go home sometimes from college, what do i do if my parents make me go to the hindu temple? can i still go, but like not believe? thx
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This is something best discussed with your Catholic pastor. We can attend non-Catholic/non-Christian ceremonies in some circumstances-- such as weddings, funerals, etc. But we are not to participate/worship in ways incompatible with the Catholic faith. The Hindu faith presents some challenges in that regard.
 
Don’t take the 4th commandment as if you were disobeying it. I’m pretty sure you have a love for your parents, and they’re trying to convince you and what they think it’s right. But you’re 19, you have your own mind and able to do your own decisions. And when it comes to God, He’ll make things possible for you to do if you don’t make them any harder on Him. You also need your desire for His will to be done. 😉

If they’re really being an obstacle to your faith, but you can still manage to go to RCIA without them knowing, I’d say go for it. Apologize to them when your initiation is done, but try and explain them that you did what you think (or know) it was right. If this really hits your conscience, talk to your priest. Your possible sins will be all cleaned up when you’re baptized, but the more used to virtue rather than sin, the better and close to holiness you are. 🙂

Good luck with everything and with RCIA. I sure hope you’re on the next Tiber Swim Team next Easter. Will be praying for you 👍
 
Congratulations!!!

I converted to Catholicism too when I was 19!!! And I was SOOOOO scared to tell my parents. I was Presbyterian though so still Christian but my whole family HATED Catholicism.

Once I told them, everyone was really freaked out to be honest with you… for a couple of years even. But it has now been 8 years and I can honestly say now that they see that it is not “just a phase” everyone is really supportive and understanding. I think they had a lot of misconceptions about the Church and I was able to educate them a little.

The biggest thing you can do to **HONOR **your parents is to be **honest **with them and tell them the truth about your new beliefs.

I’ll be praying for you!
 
I wouldn’t tell them and begin the process. No need to upset them if you decided during the process you.don’t want to continue. At some point when feel.certain that this is what you want AND strong.enough to invite them to your baptism then tell them. At some point you will.need to tell them just establish roots.first.
 
XD1993 said:
i was raised in a non-Christian home (Hindu) and want to become Catholic. i’m 19, in college, thinking about starting RCIA. i’m pretty sure my parents would flip, and tell me to not join the classes (although legally they can’t really do anything) however, they’ll be angry about it and keep trying to stop me. so should i tell them or not? also what about the ‘honor your parents’ commandment? what should i do? thx

also when i go home sometimes from college, what do i do if my parents make me go to the hindu temple? can i still go, but like not believe? thx
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At some point you will have to tell them; after all, you will be inviting them to your wedding in the Catholic Church at some point along the way, even if you don’t invite them to your Baptism. And your children are going to be Catholic, as well (their grandchildren) and they’ll want to know how that happened. 😉
 
Greetings in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ!
Is your family originally from India ?
If so you should investigate if there is a Syro-Malabar or Syro-Malankara church close to you. These churches are in communion with His Holiness Pope Francis but they come from India and retain their culture and heritage.
I will pray for you.
I’m 19 too btw.
 
I also converted at 19, I am 45 now. I would suggest waiting until you have more Catholic friends and pastoral support. The people in RCIA, a priest or deacon may have more experience of people converting and will be able to give you support and advice. You sound like your walk with Christ is quite new so take it one step at a time. Obviously the church does not want people to be alienated from their families, on the other hand Jesus told us that we may have to leave everything including family and friends to follow him. I am good friends with a Hindu couple who converted around the same time I did and they are still Catholic 25+ years later. This will be a life-long journey, I would take it slowly, making sure your have a true understanding of the commitments you are making.

You are being drawn to become a disciple of Christ and it takes a while to understand what that will mean, I would not be hasty telling your family when everything is so new as it could put you under intense emotional pressure when you entering a loving relationship with Jesus. I would instead pray everyday for your family and ask The Lord to bring you loving, mature Catholic friends.

I would also second the idea of looking at Catholic Churches and communities that have strong cultural roots in India. Even if they are not near you they may be able to talk with you over the phone or email. I can imagine they have experience of parishioners converting from Hinduism and the challenges that can present even if you are not of an Indian background yourself.

God bless you at this exciting time! I will definitely keep you in my prayers.
 
I’d look into RCIA just because you don’t have to convert at Easter Vigil.

You learn a lot about the faith and you start to make friends and get plugged into your parish.

In fact, good RCIA directors always remind you that you don’t have to convert and make you question why you are converting.

As for your parents, that’s a little more complicated. You can go to their worship services and not believe. You can explain why you aren’t interested in going, if they ask you to go with them. You really just have to figure out how to handle the situation tactfully. I know it sounds trite, but pray about how to handle the situation.
 
I would not tell your parents until later, when you have been baptized or very close to it. For now, attend the Hindu services if they want you to.
 
tafan said:
I would not tell your parents until later, when you have been baptized or very close to it. For now, attend the Hindu services if they want you to.
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This approach seems dishonest. Can you imagine regularly attending Hindu services with your parents and then suddenly one day being like, “Oh yeah, by the way, I was baptized last weekend and I’m Catholic now. All those times I went to those Hindu services with you guys… I wasn’t really worshiping or participating with you. I was just there because I was too scared to tell you the truth.”

To the OP- The Church does not allow Catholics to worship in other religious services. Seeing as how you are not Catholic yet, the Church would not forbid you from attending. Of course I would not recommend participating in the worship even before becoming Catholic especially if you are convicted that there is one God (in three persons- Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.) I am not familiar with their services so I’m not sure if you can attend without participating?
Also, I converted when I was 19 also! (Must be something about that age.) My parents did not agree but in the end were glad that I was honest with them from the beginning and are now supportive.
Do you have other people in your life that are Catholic that you know that can encourage and support you during this time? Especially since you mentioned your parents would try to stop you from converting? It really helped me a lot to get connected with supportive Catholic friends and my RCIA sponsor.
 
If I were you, I would also find this situation difficult. However, I would start RCIA immediately and not tell them at first. Otherwise, you could get discouraged and not wish to continue. Eventually, they’ll find out but I would keep it to yourself right now.

Concerning the Hindu ceremonies, I wouldn’t go. I would state either that you simply don’t want to go or this is when you tell them you’re catholic. When they question and attempt to convince you into going, I would state that you respect their beliefs but you’re now defining your own religious beliefs.

Personally, this is a difficult situation but you are free to fulfill your own destiny. Perhaps at a later point your parents may even follow you into the church. However, don’t feel guilty for separating yourself from their religion. You’re an adult and must make decisions as you see fit.

Finally, I would consult a priest to discuss these issues and get some advice about how best to proceed.
 
Cruciferi said:
Concerning the Hindu ceremonies, I wouldn’t go. I would state either that you simply don’t want to go or this is when you tell them you’re catholic…
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This may seem trivial but technically the OP is not Catholic yet.

I also find it really bizarre that so many have discouraged her from telling her parents. This seems like bad advice. I know it is coming from a place of, “Get her in the door, and THEN, let the secret out after the fact so they can’t steer her away.” But honesty is always the best policy and God’s grace is more powerful than a couple of zealous parents. If God has lead her this far, all the grace is there to lead her safely to Baptism. But it definitely won’t be easy. Even after becoming Catholic and everyone knows.

Matthew 10: 34-39
“Do not think that I have come to bring peace upon the earth. I have come to bring not peace but the sword. 35For I have come to set a man ‘against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; 36and one’s enemies will be those of his household.’ 37 Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; 38and whoever does not take up his cross and follow after me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."
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CatholicRabbit said:
This may seem trivial but technically the OP is not Catholic yet.

I also find it really bizarre that so many have discouraged her from telling her parents. This seems like bad advice. I know it is coming from a place of, “Get her in the door, and THEN, let the secret out after the fact so they can’t steer her away.” But honesty is always the best policy and God’s grace is more powerful than a couple of zealous parents. If God has lead her this far, all the grace is there to lead her safely to Baptism. But it definitely won’t be easy. Even after becoming Catholic and everyone knows.

Matthew 10: 34-39
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She has stated that she feels her parents will handle the news poorly, in this situation it is best for her to be grounded in her conviction with external support before telling them. There is no dishonesty involved. At some point in her road to becoming Catholic she will need to tell them, just not at the start when she may still be discerning what she wants.
 
Go for it ! i was 24 when converted from church of england (now 25 ) and my parents werent bothered,although they arent religious,whatever happens to quote Blessed mother teresa ‘’ in the final analysis of things it is between you and God, not you and them anyway’’.
 
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