Should I encourage my daughter to chart her cycles?

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apricot_yogurt

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DD is nearly 10, and in anticipation of her impending periods I was wondering if I should encourage her to chart her cycles.
My only reservation is that my rudimentary “knowledge” of my cycles encouraged me to fornicate with my BF. I got pregnant-hence 10 year old dd.
Should she use a chart book like I have, or get her just to use a diary.
Any advice?
 
I firmly believe in early sexual education and all the inherent responsibilities. So the soon you start, the better
Kathy
 
I think I probably will teach my daughters to chart when they’re teen’s. But not that young. I think the onset of menstuation will be traumatic enough for her to deal with. Let her get a few years in and be comfortable with her period and then introduce her.

I think if you are going to teach her, make sure that you have taken a class and you can teach her to do it right.

This may be controversial to some here, but I think if our daughters are familiar with and comfortable with NFP, they’ll be less likely to resort to ABC in the future.
 
Coming from someone who has had Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome since my teens, and didn’t find out until this past May, I say teach her to chart as soon as possible. So many of my problems would have been alleviated if I had known that my cycles were not normal. It wasn’t until I started to study NFP that I thought something was askew. I went to the doctor and he confirmed my suspicions, I have PCOS, and had been living with I got my 1st period when I was 12. It is very important that your daughter learns about her cycles so that when something is wrong she will be able to tell you, and she will have charts to show her doctor.
 
Once she starts her cycles, I don’t see anything wrong with your dd knowing how to keep track of them.

I’m not talking details at her age, but my mom taught me the basics… I had a personal calender that I marked when my cycle started. If my mom would have explained that learning my cycles pattern would help know about when it was coming, it would have helped with the worry of WHEN will it come again. I had plenty of friends who had no idea…it went through their clothes at school…I remember telling them. Imagine if they (we) were aware to watch for our cycle within a few days.

All I knew was my doctor always asked when I had an appt.
Even in my early teens (12…13). I thought I was tracking for that. I didn’t know I could have almost predicted when it would come. Also, I didn’t realize something wasn’t quite right with my cycle…I’d have it every two weeks. Some things just weren’t talked about. It would have been a GREAT help to know the benefits to know when…understand what’s average…ect.

So, I absolutely think at some point, once she starts, talk to her about marking a calender & watching for …being aware of…her pattern.
 
Maria3m said:
Once she starts her cycles, I don’t see anything wrong with your dd knowing how to keep track of them.
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On second thought, I don’t see anything wrong with telling her before her first cycle actually starts. When you and your dd are having talks about what her body will go through regarding cycles…I think talking about marking a calendar to know when it will come again…should be a natural part of the conversation.

Thank you for bringing this up. My oldest dd is so young (6 1/2yo) that we haven’t even gotten to any part of it yet. However, this is information that is a natural part of learning.

FWIW, If she’s old enough to know about cycles, then she’s old enough to know she can be aware of about when it comes each month with a calendar.
 
I would have to agree with Maria3m…keeping track of her period is a good idea, but maybe not necessarily truly charting, as one would for NFP.

I got my period young…I think I was 11…and my mom gave me a little calendar to mark it on. Basically all I did was put P on every day I had my period. That was about it. 🙂 I didn’t understand anything about temps or mucus or whatev. I don’t think all of that is necessary. Sex education should begin young, for sure, but I don’t think that knowing all the intricate details about her cycle will help her at a young age.

The nice thing about having her keep a basic record that if something IS amiss, say she has REALLY long periods very frequently, or whatever the case may be, then you can take a more active approach and start employing an NFP model (like Creighton) that also helps to track and maintain procreative health.

I would also say that in the beginning, a young girl’s cycle’s probably won’t be real regular for awhile anyways(mine weren’t, and I have absolutely zero procreative health problems, Praise God). LOL I remember when I got my period I was SO MAD…I told my mom to “take it back.” It was a pain in the butt I didn’t want to deal with…I think with my own daughters (way in the future) I will try to make it a more positive experience…not that I fault my mom at all, I think she was just as shocked and overwhelmed as I was…she got hers when she was like 16 so I think she figured she was still in the clear for awhile 🙂
 
From the beginning, I’ve explained just the very basics of fertility awareness and charting. I gave dd a calendar from the beginning for the purpose of being aware of when her next period might start so that she wouldn’t have surprises. However, then we needed it because her cycles were very short and heavy in the beginning. The pediatrician immediately started talking BCP. That lead us to Marilyn Shannon’s book and making a few natural adjustments. We were able to see improvement with the calendar. In the future, I want dd’s to be aware of that fertile phase and how it affects thoughts, feelings and desires. I think that knowledge might be used to actually prevent some sexual activity. I wish I had known about that in my younger days. I think if I had realized what was going on with my body, I might have made some different decisions and not live with some of the regrets I have.
 
I started when I was 10, and had a little calendar, like the type you get at the Hallmark counter, to keep track in. I would mark the days of my period with numbers so I knew when day 1 was and how many days it lasted.

It really is amazing to talk to women who really have no clue whatsoever about their own bodies. I’m fortunate that my mom was always very open and honest about the female body with me, and that we could talk about anything when I was younger.

I absolutely agree that charting is fine for a young girl (her period should NEVER be “traumatic” if she is educated of what to expect) and will make her more comfortable with her own body for the future. This only sets the stage for a healthy sexuality and an understanding later on of how and why NFP is prefered, and ABC is not. Not to mention sex in its proper context.

Good for you for even considering this! I think it will help to foster a wonderful relationship with your daughter! 👍

~Liza
 
It’s wonderful to hear that you are thinking about this already. My mother - although an absolutely wonderful mother in all respects - had no clue about a woman’s fertility. She also never had any problems getting pregnant so wasn’t ‘forced’ to in a way to learn more about her cycles. I’m a Catholic convert and despite being Catholic for now almost seven years, I only learnt why contraception is wrong in the past two years so have learnt the Creighton model. We have been trying to get pregnant most of this time and well I wish with all of my heart that I had known about this earlier and never took the pill.

My general opinion is that if I do manage to have children and have a daughter - I will definately start teaching her when she starts her period. I want her to be aware of how beautiful a gift God has given her in her fertility and also lead her away from harmful drugs like the pill and the patch which unfortunately have had such an awful affect on me.
 
It depends on what you mean by charting. You can let her choose if she would like to write down the date when her period starts (my mom didn’t tell me to do it, yet I eventually did it anyways when I was a teen, to figure out when I would get it again). I really don’t think a healthy 10 year old needs to be charting anything else, though.
 
lifeisbeautiful said:
It depends on what you mean by charting. You can let her choose if she would like to write down the date when her period starts (my mom didn’t tell me to do it, yet I eventually did it anyways when I was a teen, to figure out when I would get it again). I really don’t think a healthy 10 year old needs to be charting anything else, though.
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I tend to agree with this.

I would thing a tween or young teen should start out just tracking her period and trying to look for a pattern. If her periods turn out to be fairly regular (which would mean several months of observations) then she might want to start observing any other ‘symptoms’ (emotional ups and downs, acne, bloating, etc.) that happen in a predictable way. Mucus observations and/or temperature taking can wait until much later.

Now if a young girls cycles are very irregular to the extent that it is causing problems or if she is having other health issues then might be valuable for her to include observations that would p(name removed by moderator)oint when or if ovulation is taking place. But I don’t think this should be necessary for the average girl.
 
I absolutely would NOT reccommend tracking more than just the days of the cycle at the onset. I think it’s too much for a young girl to grasp - temperature and mucus, not to mention those types of chartings are explicitly for the purposes of tracking fertile/non-fertile times. Something a young girl has no need to be concerned with, or even have to worry about.

Not that it’s taboo to mention it, as in, this is what mom does and why, but in the context of “this is something you won’t have to worry about until you are married”.

~Liza
 
I will definitely encourage my daughter to be aware of her God given fertility. She needs to know that periods have a purpose and are NOT there just annoy us, lol.
**But she is only 4 months old right now, so I have plenty of time to figure out the details.😃 **
I agree with the other posters who say that simple charting is best to start (tracking the days and maybe some minor details like headaches etc).
** You can go over the other signs (like cervical fluid and temperature) so that she is aware of their role, but no need to chart them yet. Unless there seems to be a problem, no need to chart those until about 1-1 1/2 years before she plans to marry.**
By the way, just read this somewhere (might be my NFP book) that a girl went through a painful colonoscopy because she noticed mucous when she went #2 and the doc was afraid it might mean cancer or some other problem. If she had only known that she was supposed to have mucous!
Malia
 
Feanaro_s_Wife said:
By the way, just read this somewhere (might be my NFP book) that a girl went through a painful colonoscopy because she noticed mucous when she went #2 and the doc was afraid it might mean cancer or some other problem. If she had only known that she was supposed to have mucous!

Malia
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umm…large amounts of mucous in your “stool” (#2) is NOT normal!
 
Karin said:
umm…large amounts of mucous in your “stool” (#2) is NOT normal!
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**No of course not…sorry I was unclear, I am very tired:o . **
**The girl was seeing her normal cervical mucous on the toilet tissue when she wiped after a BM. Since she didn’t know any was produced during her cycles, she assumed it was coming from her stool. **
**If she had been educated about her fertility, she could have paid closer attention as to where it was actually coming from and saved herself a colonoscopy and all of the stress that comes from thinking you have a terrible disease. **
 
Feanaro_s_Wife said:
**No of course not…sorry I was unclear, I am very tired:o . **

**The girl was seeing her normal cervical mucous on the toilet tissue when she wiped after a BM. Since she didn’t know any was produced during her cycles, she assumed it was coming from her stool. **

**If she had been educated about her fertility, she could have paid closer attention as to where it was actually coming from and saved herself a colonoscopy and all of the stress that comes from thinking you have a terrible disease. **
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Umm…you do have mucos in your stool in small amounts…it is when LARGE amounts are present you have a problem…
So she could of seen stool mucos and not cervical mucos or both…either way…the doctor should of been a bit more thorugh instead of just jumping into the colonscopy :eek:
 
Thank you all for your advice. I will probably give her a little calendar just so she can work out when the next one will be due.
I think she is quite overwhelmed at the thought already. Thinking also of giving her a little package of towels, (but no tampons yet as they are scary), so she can investigate them in her own time.
 
Geeze Louise! The only thing that any teen needs to record is the first day of each period at the very most. It’s fine to explain things in an age appropriate way, but let’s not go overboard here. Remember, these girls have better things to do in life than chart their cycles. How dull. I mean, reproductive science is fascinating, but do we really want our girls to know that fertile mucus is meant to facilitate sperm meeting an egg? Do we want our daughter’s thinking about that every time they use the bathroom? Let’s keep that for marriage. Most busy teens can’t even write the date down. Keep life simple and don’t burden these girls with too much information.

However, we did do a full blown explaination of tampons and pads with our daughters, including how to use them (using colored water as the liquid – it looked more like a science lab), how to dress (like avoid white pants if possible) and other delicate issues that will come up as they become teenagers. We did this at about ten years old.
 
lifeisbeautiful said:
It depends on what you mean by charting. You can let her choose if she would like to write down the date when her period starts (my mom didn’t tell me to do it, yet I eventually did it anyways when I was a teen, to figure out when I would get it again). I really don’t think a healthy 10 year old needs to be charting anything else, though.
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I agree with this. I always found it helpful to know when my last period had started, as I was fairly regular and this kept me from being taken by surprise.

Even though I don’t think young girls need to be dealing with charting, I think they absolutely should be told that cervical mucus is normal (many of us were brought up to think that it meant we were either poorly groomed or ill) and that its appearance can indicate an impending period. I had a friend in high school who only had a few periods a year, and knowing about her cervical symptoms probably would have helped her, as she was one who was always caught off-guard and often embarrassed by it.
 
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