Should I even consider dating a guy from another denomination?

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Mike_from_NJ said:
If I could throw this topic into a bit of a deeper tangent, if denominations is not to be used then what is the proper word to use in the following to describe two men – one who is a Methodist and one who is a Catholic:

They are of different [blanks].

I understand Catholics not wanting to use “denominations” but I can’t think of a better word to use. “Churches” is going to get misinterpeted. “Sects” gives a very wrong impression. “Faiths” makes it sound like the difference between different religions (e.g. Islam vs. Christianity). Is there a single word that succinctly explains what is meant other than “denominations”?
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Mike,

Simple, here is one way, just say one man is Catholic and the other man denomination is Methodist,👍 how hard was that? there is no misinterpretation there.

Mike, I can see the confusion you have, but this confusion that you have should have never been. Jesus Christ established One Church founded on Rock all other churches /denominations /confusion came 1500 later started by men. This is why the Catholic Church is not a denomination because it was and is the First Christian Church so therefor it can’t be a denominational Church.

The First man is Adam and we are his descendants. Adam can not be a descendant of himself. So neither can the Catholic Church be a denomination of Itself.

Ufam Tobie
 
Mike_from_NJ said:
If I could throw this topic into a bit of a deeper tangent, if denominations is not to be used then what is the proper word to use in the following to describe two men – one who is a Methodist and one who is a Catholic:

They are of different [blanks].

I understand Catholics not wanting to use “denominations” but I can’t think of a better word to use. “Churches” is going to get misinterpeted. “Sects” gives a very wrong impression. “Faiths” makes it sound like the difference between different religions (e.g. Islam vs. Christianity). Is there a single word that succinctly explains what is meant other than “denominations”?
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Faith communities. (my favorite)
Faith traditions. (useful when making a point with Protestants who reject Catholic Tradition)
Ecclesial communities. (used by the Catholic Church in Dominus Iesus)

“Bodies” can be substituted in the phrases above.
 
ufamtobie said:
JonNC,

True, you did not use the term denomination, however, you also did not mention that Catholic CHurch is or isn’t a denomination. I would like to know where you and your Lutheran church stand on that?

By the way everything here get off the topic. :eek:

Ufam Tobie
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Lutherans are not denominationalists. We confess the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church.

Jon
 
dlobrien said:
Is it ok to date somebody from another denomination of Christianity? I know I won’t ever convert from Catholicism.
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It’s acceptable, but be careful.

I was Catholic and married a Lutheran.
 
JonNC said:
I was Lutheran and married a Lutheran. 😉
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I married a Lutheran and she became Catholic and a really good one…perhaps a better Catholic than me. She even painted my avatar.

Wonder if I can catch up? :confused:
 
dlobrien said:
Is it ok to date somebody from another denomination of Christianity? I know I won’t ever convert from Catholicism.
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Well along the way he may convert and convert and convert to another form of protestantism.😊😛

I have heard the term “equally yoked” If you were me I’d try to get to the reasons why he wouldn’t convert to Catholocism not FIRST but before it moved to another level than “dating”.

Get to know each other within YOUR bounds and go from there. JMHO
 
JonNC said:
Lutherans are not denominationalists. We confess the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church.

Jon
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JonNC,

JonNC, you are lying to yourself or have been brain washed my friend, because if you truly “confessed The One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church” I would be seeing you this coming Sunday at Mass, standing in line along with me, getting down on our knees to receive the Catholic Eucharist. But that can’t happen at least not Yet JonNC.

Maybe you are not denominationalists re: man made churches, since the Lutheran church was the first man made church.

Ufam Tobie
 
I come from a very large extended family of Catholics. In my generation I am the only one still practicing, all of my siblings and cousins are non practicing and are what I consider to be Cultural Catholics i.e. Raised in the Church and would never consider joining any other denomination, yet have serious doubts about the existence of God, and the Catholic Church.
Yet when it came to choosing a life partner they all married other cultural Catholics, I am the only one who married a non Catholic.
And talk about ironic! When it came to getting married, baptising children, which school, and a hundred other little things in life from how to celebrate Easter and Christmas or saying grace before meals etc. All of my extended family have no problem at all, these things are hardly even discussed, it is just naturally assumed by both parties, the only word I can use for it is that it is Cultural.
Where as for me, all of these small things that most people raised Catholic don’t even think about, they just come as second nature, are now big issues which require a lot of discussion and negotiation, sometimes to the point of exasperation.

My advice! It is fine to date all sorts of people from different faith traditions, however if you find yourself falling in love and considering a lifetime partnership? Think very carefully about it. The people on this post who have said that it is easier to navigate a life journey with some one from the same faith are correct. Believe me I know from experience.
 
dlobrien said:
Is it ok to date somebody from another denomination of Christianity? I know I won’t ever convert from Catholicism.
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The Catholic Church is not a denomination it is the bride of Christ the church he founded
 
My wife is [culturally, nominally] Roman Catholic. I’m quite Lutheran. We’re just fine. 🙂
 
robwar said:
Basically, No. If you are serious about your faith and practicing it as well as raising your children in it, then you need to stick to dating Catholics that share you commitment to the church. While you have others on this thread here that are giving examples of where a mixed Catholic/Protestants marriage worked, there are more problems and issues than happy endings. While I realize that there might not be good choices available in the Catholic market, don’t fall into the temptation of looking to date outside the Church. Marriage is challenging enough and to start the marriage out with a major difference only adds to potential of problems which you don’t need. The mixed Catholic/Protestant marriages that I’ve known that seemed to be successful is where the Protestant is not that strong in their faith or practice and seems to go along with the Catholic. Where it doesn’t work out is where the Protestant is strong in their denomination, it is somewhat anti-Catholic and they an extended family that is equally strong and pushy.
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Well, I’m one of those with an example of one that worked, Mom and Dad.

The key is, as you suggest, whether the non-Catholic spouse is okay with your being Catholic and raising the kids as such. Dad wasn’t a strong believer in another faith, and there was no extended family opposed to the marriage.
PennyinCanada said:
When children are growing up, there is nothing like a father that models his faith as a Catholic man. They see him standing in line to go to confession. They see him shut off the tv and hold a rosary in his hand. He has the kids kneel at their bed to pray and does the sign of the cross to bless them at bed time and other important moments. He has religious articles in the house, certainly including the Blessed Mother. My husband, before we were married, enjoyed reading the Little Flowers of St. Francis to me since I was not familiar with them. They are now on line here: ccel.org/ccel/ugolino/flowers.iii.html Imagine a dad reading these to his children. A father modeling the Catholic faith is a strong pillar for the marriage and family life. A rock to build a home on.
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Interesting; sometimes I wonder about this.

As one who had only a mother who was Catholic, I wonder if having a Catholic father would have made any difference.

Still, Mom and Dad were okay with Mom being my primary religious teacher. Mom prayed the Rosary, taught me Catholic prayers, and did other things.
ClearWater said:
Okay, say you get serious and want to get married. He will have his faith. You will have yours. So, you will each be going and worshipping in different churches, instead of together. You are not really even supposed to be going to other churches, for the most part.

Further, if you have children, that is where the differences in faith would become really highlighted. Even if he agrees to allow you to raise your children in your faith, it still is a bad example to your child to see your family going in separate directions every Sunday.
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When Mom and Dad worshiped in separate directions on Sunday, Mom simply explained that Dad was “brought up differently.” I never questioned it and it had no effect on my faith.
 
dlobrien said:
Is it ok to date somebody from another denomination of Christianity? I know I won’t ever convert from Catholicism.
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I would strongly advise against it. CAF is littered with threads from people whose lives are in freefall because of their marriages to non-Catholics. A common theme is that the spouse seemed tolerant and open to Catholicism beforehand and afterward… not so much.
 
Looking at national surveys, Catholics stand out with only 28% of the ever-married having divorced at some point compared to more than 40% of those with no religious affiliation, 39% of Protestants and 35% of those of another religious faith.

Furthermore, Catholics who marry other Catholics are also less likely to divorce than Catholics married to people of other faiths.

A 2007 survey from the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate estimates that only 27% of Catholics married to other Catholics have ever experienced divorce, compared to nearly half of Catholics married to Protestants or to spouses with no religious belief.

Read more: ncregister.com/daily-news/catholics-continue-to-have-lowest-divorce-rates/#ixzz2gZPPHBtX
 
sw85 said:
I would strongly advise against it. CAF is littered with threads from people whose lives are in freefall because of their marriages to non-Catholics. A common theme is that the spouse seemed tolerant and open to Catholicism beforehand and afterward… not so much.
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Yes, this is it. If one is serious about their faith, practicing it and then raising children in it, then one should date someone that shares in that. This is just a basic principle and cuts across the board in any religion whether it is Christian or not, Catholic or Protestant or not. And I am glad that you pointed out the other side where there are threads on CAF that someone didn’t marry a Catholic and now there is a holy war over the children or over where the children are attending or the fact that the children don’t want to attend the Catholic Church because the Baptist is more fun or the child wants to stay home with the atheist parent etc and so on. Sometimes, someone may not be so strong in the practice of their particular faith or church and go along with marrying a Catholic and then the kids start coming and then they rediscover their roots or their family pressure them and then they do want to have to have their children attend the Baptist Church or don’t want to Baptize the child Catholic etc and so on. The more that one shares in the very basic of faith, i.e: belong to the same Church, the stronger the basis for the marriage will be. Starting out the marriage with a major difference even if one partner says they don’t care or they are not that strong in the practice of that particular denomination can be for most people the beginning of major issues later and no marriage needs that.
 
Aside from the fact that the Lutherans are apparently out to marry-vert us all…😉

This is a subject I have strong opinions on, and they got stronger after I got married. Note that I’m Orthodox, and so is my wife. We both wouldn’t have considered any other arrangement. Living out the Faith is hard enough without your home being a sanctuary for your practice. Because my wife and I are both of the same faith:
  • We don’t have to have discussions about whether or not it’s ok to have our Icons in the living room.
  • We don’t discuss whether or not we’re not eating meat every Wednesday and Friday, not going over why the meal-planner needs to remember that, not feeling that they’re not respecting our beliefs by purposefully forgetting not to plan hamburgers for dinner.
  • We talked about when, not if, our son should be baptized. We expected that he would receive Confirmation and First Communion as an infant, in the Orthodox Church.
  • When we do Morning or Evening prayer there isn’t a discussion about which prayers make someone ‘uncomfortable’ or which tradition’s prayers we should use.
  • We don’t have decide who’s parish we’ll be at when celebrating Feast days
  • We don’t have to go through the uncomfortable attendance at a Feast’s observance before we actually should be observing (for example, we both celebrate Christmas on January 7th, and are not trying to support our spouse by being at their church on December 25th to celebrate Jesus birth…while we’re still waiting for Jesus’s birth and fasting).
  • We expect that we’ll be abstaining from sexual relations during Fasting periods.
  • We know that our children will have saints names.
  • We have the same cultural traditions about Pascha, Christmas, St. Nicholas Day, and the Great Feasts.
  • We don’t make fun of the other person packing holy water in the bathroom kit so as to bless the hotel room.
  • We don’t have disagreements about what the Bible means.
  • We have a commonly accepted third party in the form of our priest in times of conflict.
Finally, if nothing else, our wedding planning was SO much easier because we just checked off the ceremony box in one fell swoop - Orthodox wedding. Done. Knew the parish, the priest, what we’d say, the songs we sing (no options, it’s all determined) and that was a HUGE help. People who’ve never been married have no idea how stressful wedding planning can be, I swear. So nice to not have to worry about it.

So picture all those hundreds of little, everyday things being a source of disagreement and grating in your marriage. This is important: Who you marry is the most important decision of your life. A good marriage can effect your life in so many ways it’s not even funny. You can do things you wouldn’t have dreamed of. Don’t introduce conflict into what is the most significant earthly relationship you will ever have just because you want to feel ‘ecumenical’ or don’t want to offend somebody. MARRY IN YOUR FAITH.
 
There are a lot of variables that we don’t know. Everyone is assuming a mature relationship working it’s way to marriage.

I agree with the guy who basically said ‘no’.

That’s not to say success isn’t possible. It has happened and will continue.

If conflict in religion is dramma you think you’ll enjoy, like someone else noted, this forum is loaded with plenty of stories with this dramma. See for yourself if it seems enjoyable.

If you think you’ll convert someone, know your powers are not that great.

If you go into a relationship setting aside your foundation, you’ve got yourself a house of cards. Make sure the windows are closed! (and don’t sneeze)
 
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