Should I feel bad?

[Damascus]

For some reason, he is going to this one house with her …but, she has a very loving and helpful family. I’m wondering if they were like…6am ??? LOLI try to help her as much as I can…but, I just think there are some boundaries that people need to respect when asking others to watch their kids…who are not related.

Maybe we should have known this in the OP?

 

[Katie1723]

If that woman is cleaning toilets and scrubbing scum, she must need the money. How much is left of what she gets after she pays you?
…She most likely is in a state of desperation and in financial need. No way she is doing this for fun and a few extra bucks to blow at starbucks…

Don’t stereotype either my dear. Honest labor, no matter what that may be, is not just about “glamour” jobs.
Kathy

 

[Damascus]

Don’t stereotype either my dear. Honest labor, no matter what that may be, is not just about “glamour” jobs.
Kathy

Oh. I see your point.

Walk a mile in her shoes… tell me you would say this?

Yet., I made this comment WITHOUT all the facts.
So yes, flame me.
Not the OP.
She deceived me in her OP.

I would have never responded had I been told all the truth, and nothing but the truth…
I was mislead.

 

[Katie1723]

Oh. I see your point.

Walk a mile in her shoes… tell me you would say this?

Yet., I made this comment WITHOUT all the facts.
So yes, flame me.
Not the OP.
She deceived me in her OP.

I would have never responded had I been told all the truth, and nothing but the truth…
I was mislead.

What I am saying is not everyone has an office job, or something where they don’t have to get a bit dirty. I am a nurse’s aide. …you know the kind…bedpans, puke, blood and guts. Please don’t pity me and think I have financial problems, because someday you might need a bed pan, or a gown changed because you puked and it might be me doing the changing.
Kathy

 

[Damascus]

What I am saying is not everyone has an office job, or something where they don’t have to get a bit dirty. I am a nurse’s aide. …you know the kind…bedpans, puke, blood and guts. Please don’t pity me and think I have financial problems, because someday you might need a bed pan, or a gown changed because you puked and it might be me doing the changing.
Kathy

Yes Kathy,

You got an education and chose a profession that you did.
Do maids choose this after an education?

Or are they making the best of a bad situation even if they end up in spite of it being “successful”?

 

[Katie1723]

Yes Kathy,

You got an education and chose a profession that you did.
Do maids choose this after an education?

Or are they making the best of a bad situation even if they end up in spite of it being “successful”?

Au contrair…I learned on the job, because I couldn’t afford school. And why do I get the distinct impression you feel that a “maids” job is something less than desirable? Who do you think should clean the toilets and “scum”? And let me say something else, I would much rather have “friends in low places” than someone in management.
Tell me, what is it you do to support yourself?
Kathy

 

[Ferdinand_Mary]

NOTICE: The charitly level on this thread needs to improve ASAP or this thread will be closed and further action will be taken.

Mane Nobiscum Domine,
Ferdinand Mary

 

[Damascus]

Au contrair…I learned on the job, because I couldn’t afford school. And why do I get the distinct impression you feel that a “maids” job is something less than desirable? Who do you think should clean the toilets and “scum”? And let me say something else, I would much rather have “friends in low places” than someone in management.
Tell me, what is it you do to support yourself?
Kathy

Dear Katie,

You may have not been able to afford school, but you chose this path knowing what was intailed. You could have done anything else if you had chosen. Are you going to tell me it was out of desperation you picked this path? Why not cleaning toilets?
Because you knew you would be able to be held respectable in the medical realm.
I dont think you have the right to ask me what I do to support myself.
Is it something I missed here- or had the OP been honest - you would not be giving your 2 cents right now?
She told the tale of woe.
Yet, did not give all the facts.
So you get upset with me, but not her.
I totally understand.
Most of the threads here are like this.
The poster knows more than they want to admit.
How interesting would this post have been had she given all the facts???

 

[BLB_Oregon]

Dear Katie,

You may have not been able to afford school, but you chose this path knowing what was intailed. You could have done anything else if you had chosen. Are you going to tell me it was out of desperation you picked this path? Why not cleaning toilets?
Because you knew you would be able to be held respectable in the medical realm.
I dont think you have the right to ask me what I do to support myself.
Is it something I missed here- or had the OP been honest - you would not be giving your 2 cents right now?
She told the tale of woe.
Yet, did not give all the facts.
So you get upset with me, but not her.
I totally understand.
Most of the threads here are like this.
The poster knows more than they want to admit.
How interesting would this post have been had she given all the facts???

Maybe you haven’t seen that show on cable based on going out and finding the dirtiest, nastiest jobs. The people who actually do them don’t always find them that objectionable.

As for me, I’d rather clean other people’s toilets than a great many other jobs I can think of. I like a clean bathroom and a clean house. When my kids were small, we had a housecleaner come in once in awhile. She said the same thing. She said she always liked to think how happy people were to have the house look so nice. Dealing with blood and sick people, though…there are a lot of people who can’t cope with that. It depends on what your gifts are.

Any job where you think your hard work makes a difference can be a great job.

(PS: Assuming the OP knew that her neighbor liked her job, it may only have sounded like a pity party for the OP to have mentioned that. It really isn’t that relevant to the question.)

 

[puzzleannie]

Hi all–not a huge issue here, but just wanted some of your opinions. My neighbor asks me to watch her kids, quite a bit actually…and when I’m available on a Friday or Saturday night/afternoon, I’m there. But, she called me today and asked my son, actually, who is 13 yrs old, to do it at 6am tomorrow morning, because she has a job to do (

let me get this straight. Your neighbor has been taking advantage of your good nature for quite some time to manipulate you into being her steady unpaid babysitter. Now she wants to pull the same stunt with your son, but is willing to throw a couple of bucks his way. She has no regard whatever for your plans, your life, or your sons life and commitments. But so that she can work or do what she wants, she wants other people to take care of her kids on an ad hoc basis. And you want to know if YOU should be feeling bad for saying no? I say congratulate yourself for finally figuring out this person’s game. She should take care of her own kids. If she has to work, she should arrange child care on the same basis as every other working mom–pay for it.

Sure if it is an emergency, you are her neighbor, you would help out. Emergencies do not happen “quite a bit, actually”.

 

[BLB_Oregon]

It just occurred to me today that the OP’s neighbor may also be the kind of person who does not know how to draw appropriate boundaries. How many people are there who would expect a housecleaner to come at 6 am and on a Sunday? How many housecleaners would suggest that they would be available at that hour?

All it takes is
a) someone who thinks “it never hurts to ask” and
b) someone who thinks they have to have some sort of spectacular reason to turn down a request.

instead of
a) someone who wouldn’t ask if they themselves wouldn’t do it OR
b) someone who knows their own boundaries and needs and extremely good reason to even consider violating them.

 

[Giannawannabe]

It just occurred to me today that the OP’s neighbor may also be the kind of person who does not know how to draw appropriate boundaries. How many people are there who would expect a housecleaner to come at 6 am and on a Sunday? How many housecleaners would suggest that they would be available at that hour?

All it takes is
a) someone who thinks “it never hurts to ask” and
b) someone who thinks they have to have some sort of spectacular reason to turn down a request.

instead of
a) someone who wouldn’t ask if they themselves wouldn’t do it OR
b) someone who knows their own boundaries and needs and extremely good reason to even consider violating them.

BLB–great post!

whatevergirl, in an emergency situation, it is very kind and generous to help out a neighbor. If it’s a routine request, then saying “no” once in awhile is fine. I have found that when I start “feeling” taken advantage of, I probably am.

 

[Katie1723]

Maybe you haven’t seen that show on cable based on going out and finding the dirtiest, nastiest jobs. The people who actually do them don’t always find them that objectionable…Any job where you think your hard work makes a difference can be a great job…

That is precisely what I was trying to say to the other poster. Not all people in “service” jobs are there because that was all they could “afford” or “want” to do. Any job is honorable, done well and with spirit.
Kathy

 

[whatevergirl]

Oh. I see your point.

Walk a mile in her shoes… tell me you would say this?

Yet., I made this comment WITHOUT all the facts.
So yes, flame me.
Not the OP.
She deceived me in her OP.

I would have never responded had I been told all the truth, and nothing but the truth…
I was mislead.

Damascus…How did I deceive you? You chose to assume she was this destitute mother in desperation. I didn’t think it necessary to post a thesis on this matter…lol…it’s really not that huge of a matter, just was something I wanted a few opinions on, that’s all. So, I never said that, rather you are assuming something that I never said, and that does not make me deceptive. I have noticed that you ‘enjoy’ trailing me around on this board, and posting very negative things. I would recommend that you either find a more positive way to reply to me, or please refrain from commenting in my threads. I never say anything demeaning to anyone, but you continuously demean me. Find someone else to pick on, ok? Thank you.

 

[whatevergirl]

For everyone else…thank you for your replies…gave me much food to chew on. LOL

I realized through this that my neighbor really should learn approprate timing boundaries. Friday nights or Saturdays even are fine…and her kids play at my house quite a bit. But, to ask someone to get out of bed on a Sunday, and spend Sunday morning with your kids, just seems to be going over a line that I wish NOT to make a habit. Again–thank you for your contributions on here!

 

[whatevergirl]

let me get this straight. Your neighbor has been taking advantage of your good nature for quite some time to manipulate you into being her steady unpaid babysitter. Now she wants to pull the same stunt with your son, but is willing to throw a couple of bucks his way. She has no regard whatever for your plans, your life, or your sons life and commitments. But so that she can work or do what she wants, she wants other people to take care of her kids on an ad hoc basis. And you want to know if YOU should be feeling bad for saying no? I say congratulate yourself for finally figuring out this person’s game. She should take care of her own kids. If she has to work, she should arrange child care on the same basis as every other working mom–pay for it.

Sure if it is an emergency, you are her neighbor, you would help out. Emergencies do not happen “quite a bit, actually”.

Well…it would seem that way…lol. But, she is a good person…just needs to learn boundaries…and I think I’m learning how to say no, now. Not such a bad thing…why do we women feel guilty saying no? My husband felt not a shred of guilt in this whole thing. LOL

 

[whatevergirl]

Or always tell the WHOLE story before you ask questions since I can only go on YOUR words …

I never painted a bad picture of her…this is her job. Period. Would it be less appropriate if she was a business woman, and had to meet a client at 6am, than being a house cleaner? It is not her job that is the issue here…it’s her request, Damascus. I didn’t see the need to write every detail out about her life…lol I don’t think anyone else had an issue answering my question.

 

[whatevergirl]

What I am saying is not everyone has an office job, or something where they don’t have to get a bit dirty. I am a nurse’s aide. …you know the kind…bedpans, puke, blood and guts. Please don’t pity me and think I have financial problems, because someday you might need a bed pan, or a gown changed because you puked and it might be me doing the changing.
Kathy

my hat is off to you, totally…kathy…you are awesome! :=)

 

[whatevergirl]

Dear Katie,

You may have not been able to afford school, but you chose this path knowing what was intailed. You could have done anything else if you had chosen. Are you going to tell me it was out of desperation you picked this path? Why not cleaning toilets?
Because you knew you would be able to be held respectable in the medical realm.
I dont think you have the right to ask me what I do to support myself.
Is it something I missed here- or had the OP been honest - you would not be giving your 2 cents right now?
She told the tale of woe.
Yet, did not give all the facts.
So you get upset with me, but not her.
I totally understand.
Most of the threads here are like this.
The poster knows more than they want to admit.
How interesting would this post have been had she given all the facts???

I’m not seeing a tale of woe. Damascus…lol…she owns her own business, and cleans homes as a part of it–how is this a tale of woe? Oh well…I can’t change your thoughts.

someone, please close this thread now. 6 am as long passed. Thank you for your replies everyone…really…they helped me.

 

[jonfan]

To the one poster who asked…what would Jesus do? I think that Jesus couldn’t be everywhere at all times, =QUOTE]

Was Jesus omni-present?