Should I give away immodest clothing?

[surfinpure]

Dear Friends,

A couple of months ago I read Dressing With Dignity, by Colleen Hammond, and it has thoroughly changed my philosophy on Christian modesty. I have been weeding out my wardrobe ever since, but I am left with the quandary of what to do with all this clothing that I most certainly won’t be wearing anymore.

Now some of it was simply too tight, like jeans, for instance. That I can see giving away to charity, simply because another woman who is smaller than I am could wear them quite modestly (assuming she isn’t entirely vain about the size number on the tag). However, other things, such as backless dresses, could not exactly be worn modestly unless covered up quite a bit, or else I suppose someone might take the garment apart and make another one from the fabric. Those scenarios seem unlikely to me, or at least less likely than that someone might simply wear the clothing as it is.

That said, what ought I to do with these items? Throw them away, or give them away in good faith that someone might use them properly? I just hate to waste expensive materials like these, and unfortunately I am no seamstress!

Please advise. Thanks!

Mary

 

[puzzleannie]

or you could donate them to a charity and let the people who get their clothing from this charity make their own decisions on what to wear.

 

[surfinpure]

or you could donate them to a charity and let the people who get their clothing from this charity make their own decisions on what to wear.

No, in this instance I’m quite certain simply allowing someone else to dress immodestly in my clothing would be the sin of scandal, or contributing to another’s sin.

 

[Sr_Sally]

Not sure how immodest your clothes really are. Perhaps on someone of another build they would be fine (like your jeans example). I usually just give clothes to a charity that I want to support. The people purchasing the clothes will need to make their own decisions.

I assume that along with your more modest wardrobe, you are also changing your activities to be more modest, so that you won’t be attending events where a backless dress would be appropriate. For eveningwear you could have new clothes made. Take those with the “expensive material”, perhaps if the fabrics are things you really like, you could take them to a seamstress and ask her to help you remake them into dresses you would be comfortable wearing. For example, two dresses could be combined into one more modest dress with perhaps a jacket or wrap made from the extra fabric.

 

[surfinpure]

Not sure how immodest your clothes really are. Perhaps on someone of another build they would be fine (like your jeans example). I usually just give clothes to a charity that I want to support. The people purchasing the clothes will need to make their own decisions.

I assume that along with your more modest wardrobe, you are also changing your activities to be more modest, so that you won’t be attending events where a backless dress would be appropriate. For eveningwear you could have new clothes made. Take those with the “expensive material”, perhaps if the fabrics are things you really like, you could take them to a seamstress and ask her to help you remake them into dresses you would be comfortable wearing. For example, two dresses could be combined into one more modest dress with perhaps a jacket or wrap made from the extra fabric.

These are all very good suggestions, except that I have next to zero free time, and not much money to spend with a seamstress, for that matter. I don’t even go to evening events anymore, except around the Holidays, but I have modest skirts and blouses for those events already.

The clothing that I have deemed immodest, as suggested by the common sense standards in the book, is stuff that would truly be difficult for anyone to wear modestly. For example, a skirt with a slit up the side is going to be suggestive no matter what, unless someone sewed up the slit, in which case it would be incredibly uncomfortable. And in any case, as I said earlier, I seriously doubt the women shopping at these stores are going to take any more time or concern to make their clothing more modest than I did before I realized what was wrong with how I dressed. I know that the vast majority of American women, even Christian women, don’t seem to take standards of modesty very seriously.

 

[Joyousguard]

It sounds as if you have already know what your decision is. Give away the clothes that you believe can be worn in modesty. However, one can not be certain that anythig we do or give will be used as we had hoped. For all we know a birthday present may be used in an armed robbery, if that was something that always crossed our mind then most of us would avoid birthday parties to say nothing of weddings.
If you feel that strongly about it you could always keep the clothes and use them for rags around the house, that way you will not offended any of your sensibilities and the clothing will not simply go to waste.

 

[surfinpure]

It sounds as if you have already know what your decision is. Give away the clothes that you believe can be worn in modesty. However, one can not be certain that anythig we do or give will be used as we had hoped. For all we know a birthday present may be used in an armed robbery, if that was something that always crossed our mind then most of us would avoid birthday parties to say nothing of weddings.
If you feel that strongly about it you could always keep the clothes and use them for rags around the house, that way you will not offended any of your sensibilities and the clothing will not simply go to waste.

sigh I suppose you are right. I guess I’d just like to hear from someone else who is willing to or has in the past thrown away clothes that aren’t fit for anyone to wear. I’ve always considered wasting a terrible thing to do, but I’m beginning to see that there may be no other choice for me, given my lack of funds and sewing skills. Thanks for your reply.

 

[kage_ar]

Let me give you an example. Gluttony is a sin, right? Should you not donate cookies to the food pantry because someone might eat the entire bag?

The author you referenced, I am sure she is well intentioned, however - the guidlines she put in the book are her own personal opinions. There is no 11th commandment that states “thou shalt not wear a skirt with a slit” and no place in the CCC or any dogmatic magesterial document is there a “backless dresses are grave matter” statement.

If you are led to not wear skirts with slits or backless dresses, then do not wear them. However, it is not wise to force your personal convictions on another person. If the clothes are in good wearable condition, the kind thing is to donate them to those who may need them.

 

[latinmasslover]

sigh I suppose you are right. I guess I’d just like to hear from someone else who is willing to or has in the past thrown away clothes that aren’t fit for anyone to wear. I’ve always considered wasting a terrible thing to do, but I’m beginning to see that there may be no other choice for me, given my lack of funds and sewing skills. Thanks for your reply.

Your making the right decision. The “iffys” you can donate, but toss the others if there’s no other option. I have some clothing that is indecent by itself, but with the right accessory it’s more attractive and, more importantly, modest. You could always save some of them also while waiting for the addition that will perfect the outfit.

 

[baltobetsy]

If you feel so strongly that allowing others to decide what to wear would be leading them to sin, how about cutting up the lovely fabrics and giving the pieces to someone who does crafts, or even a school art teacher? Artists are always looking for materials.

Betsy

 

[gardenswithkids]

… I guess I’d just like to hear from someone else who is willing to or has in the past thrown away clothes that aren’t fit for anyone to wear. I’ve always considered wasting a terrible thing to do, but I’m beginning to see that there may be no other choice for me, given my lack of funds and sewing skills. …

It goes against my frugal nature, but I sometimes throw away clothes (or use as cleaning rags) clothing that I don’t think fit for anyone to wear. Not just modesty issues, but sometimes t-shirts given to my children that have inappropriate sayings or designs too.

As you already noted, modesty is often a matter of wearing clothes that fit. Sometimes modesty can also be achieved by adding a simple jacket or layering with another t-shirt. But if there is no way an item can look modest or decent on anyone without major alterations, don’t give inappropriate, immodest clothing to those who depend on charity. That’s not charitable!

 

[Em_in_FL]

Let me give you an example. Gluttony is a sin, right? Should you not donate cookies to the food pantry because someone might eat the entire bag?

The author you referenced, I am sure she is well intentioned, however - the guidlines she put in the book are her own personal opinions. There is no 11th commandment that states “thou shalt not wear a skirt with a slit” and no place in the CCC or any dogmatic magesterial document is there a “backless dresses are grave matter” statement.

If you are led to not wear skirts with slits or backless dresses, then do not wear them. However, it is not wise to force your personal convictions on another person. If the clothes are in good wearable condition, the kind thing is to donate them to those who may need them.

Agreed.

The poor are poor. Unless the clothing is torn or dirtied… share with those in need.

 

[gardenswithkids]

Let me give you an example. Gluttony is a sin, right? Should you not donate cookies to the food pantry because someone might eat the entire bag?..

However to continue this analogy: if someone believes the cookies contain poison, then throw them away; don’t donate poisonous food to the poor!

I haven’t seen the clothes, but I think the op should trust her own judgement. If they are immodest, remember Jesus told us to clothe the naked–not leave them half naked.

 

[kage_ar]

However to continue your analogy: if someone believes the cookies are poisonous, then they should throw the cookies away, not donate them to the poor.

I haven’t seen the clothes, but I think the op should trust her own judgement. If they are immodest, remember Jesus told us to clothe the naked–not leave them half naked.

The issue here, these book that gave the OP these ideas is ONLY personal opinion, it is not doctrine/dogma.

Someone may appreciate need these clothes, I doubt if the OP is talking about Tshirts with blasphemy or cursing printed on them - she mentions skirts with a slit and backless dresses. To waste wearable clothing because your personal convictions tell you not to wear them does not seem to be acting in charity.

 

[surfinpure]

Let me give you an example. Gluttony is a sin, right? Should you not donate cookies to the food pantry because someone might eat the entire bag?

The author you referenced, I am sure she is well intentioned, however - the guidlines she put in the book are her own personal opinions. There is no 11th commandment that states “thou shalt not wear a skirt with a slit” and no place in the CCC or any dogmatic magesterial document is there a “backless dresses are grave matter” statement.

If you are led to not wear skirts with slits or backless dresses, then do not wear them. However, it is not wise to force your personal convictions on another person. If the clothes are in good wearable condition, the kind thing is to donate them to those who may need them.

I understand you have good intentions, but I fail to see how not donating an immodest article of clothing is “forcing [my] personal convictions on another person.” How is preserving them from an occasion of sin - and I am convinced that dressing immodestly IS a sin (as so designated in our own CCC) - the same as telling them what they can or cannot wear?

You compare cookies to immodest clothing, but the two are not the same. One may have a cookie without commiting gluttony. One may not wear one bikini without commiting immodesty. Just because Holy Mother Church has not formulated specific guidelines on the subject doesn’t mean that common sense is left out of the picture.

 

[puzzleannie]

No, in this instance I’m quite certain simply allowing someone else to dress immodestly in my clothing would be the sin of scandal, or contributing to another’s sin.

no you are not. they are just clothes. they have no moral content in and of themselves. the person is free to put a jacket over a revealing dress, or use the fabric to make something else. you cannot judge another person’s future actions, much less assume responsibility for them

 

[surfinpure]

If you feel so strongly that allowing others to decide what to wear would be leading them to sin, how about cutting up the lovely fabrics and giving the pieces to someone who does crafts, or even a school art teacher? Artists are always looking for materials.

Betsy

This is a most excellent idea! In fact, I know many women shop for material scraps at thrift stores, so if I do the cutting myself, then they could make the material into anything they like. I believe I shall do just that!

Thanks,

Mary

 

[surfinpure]

… remember Jesus told us to clothe the naked–not leave them half naked.

 

[estesbob]

Only to someone it looks good on…

 

[surfinpure]

no you are not. they are just clothes. they have no moral content in and of themselves. the person is free to put a jacket over a revealing dress, or use the fabric to make something else. you cannot judge another person’s future actions, much less assume responsibility for them

I could see this conversation going downhill fast, so I don’t think it would be wise to continue down this line of arguing with one another. You have stated your position, and I respectfully but strongly disagree with your premises. I believe that’s really all that needs to be said in this case.