Should I go above local pastor's head?

[lozeerose]

For almost a year now I have been trying to get myself reconciled with the Church. Mot recently I met with the pastor of my closest parish for some advice and belssing, ect. He was going to check with the Diocese about one of theses issues but never followed up with me (it has been about 6 weeks). I have since called and left messages several times over the last 3 weeks and the admin personnel state they would pass it on but have given no indication that the pastor is out or on vacation or something like that.

I am sure he may have more important things on his plate but I am curious if anyone would think it best that I head straight to the Diocese for answers to my questions or maybe work with another parish pastor. Any thoughts?

Thanks,

lozeerose

 

[mikeghiorso]

Sometimes it may be the Diocese that is taking so long in responding, but, after six weeks of phone calls, it may be time to try another parish/pastor. Our priests are often “overbooked” (and while this does not excuse the unresponsiveness, it may be the reason for the delay). Only you know the depth and complexity of your situation … please judge accordingly. Know our prayers are with you and we look forward to our reconciliation … Deacon Mike

 

[SpaceNeedle]

I was in a similar situation (Fr over committed/short on time), and after a few months, I took note that in the bulletin, there was a lay person listed for assistance in adult education. I figured they might at least be able to advise a little since they deal with adults returning to the church, and indeed, they were able to help and were enthusiastic about doing so. I got everything squared away at parish level.

 

[withwind]

You can try make another appointment to meet the priest in person. That could be very helpful.

A six-week period might not be too long at all if the priest is overwhelmed with his work or he is big parish.

 

[lozeerose]

Thanks everybody for the prayers and advice.

 

[jmjconder]

For almost a year now I have been trying to get myself reconciled with the Church. Mot recently I met with the pastor of my closest parish for some advice and belssing, ect. He was going to check with the Diocese about one of theses issues but never followed up with me (it has been about 6 weeks). I have since called and left messages several times over the last 3 weeks and the admin personnel state they would pass it on but have given no indication that the pastor is out or on vacation or something like that.

I am sure he may have more important things on his plate but I am curious if anyone would think it best that I head straight to the Diocese for answers to my questions or maybe work with another parish pastor. Any thoughts?

Thanks,

lozeerose

lozeerose ~ Have you been praying for patience? You certainly are being tested with it. My personal opinion is 6 weeks is far too long to wait ~ especially since you have already been trying for a year to “reconcile with the Church.”

I admire your desire and patience in this matter ~ I recommend you do whatever it takes to resolve this quickly…phone calls are not working ~ reconcilation with the Church ought to be a priorty with this priest. If he is working on it at least he owes you a phone call to keep you informed. If possilbe visit him at his parish during office hrs. and seek to find quick answers from him. Give it a short time frame to hear from him…or I think you are within your right to go directly to your Diocese.

One year is way too long to have some answers about your desire to reconcile. I promise prayers for you in this matter. God be with you in your desire.

 

[GracedUpon]

What was the issue the priest was going to check on?

 

[jmjconder]

What was the issue the priest was going to check on?

Graced Upon ~ I do not think the OP needs to share that…it is their personal informaton.

 

[iluvmybabies]

For almost a year now I have been trying to get myself reconciled with the Church. Mot recently I met with the pastor of my closest parish for some advice and belssing, ect. He was going to check with the Diocese about one of theses issues but never followed up with me (it has been about 6 weeks). I have since called and left messages several times over the last 3 weeks and the admin personnel state they would pass it on but have given no indication that the pastor is out or on vacation or something like that.

I am sure he may have more important things on his plate but I am curious if anyone would think it best that I head straight to the Diocese for answers to my questions or maybe work with another parish pastor. Any thoughts?

Thanks,

lozeerose

Sometimes it takes longer than a month…I know that it took our Priest about I don’t know 4-6 months to respond on anything that was needed…Just give them another call and wait…I know it’s harder than it sounds but believe me I spend a lot of time praying and asking GOD for patience!!!

 

[EeyoresButerfly]

It might not be a bad idea ot simply go in person and talk to him since he is not returning your phone calls.

I dealt with something similar but it wasn’t a church thing. I needed a letter from the school district I will be teaching for that states my contract is irrevocable in order to secure my loan for my new house. I have called, left messages, been told by the secretary that it would get done ASAP and my lender still didn’t have it. My lender called and left messages and I was letting him handle it. I finally called the school district again yesterday and turns out the man did not even get the messages! It was the first he had heard of it. I would hope that is not what was going on in your case, but you never know. Maybe the priest isn’t getting your messages. There could be some kind of breakdown in communication in the office. I would talk to him in person and if still no satisfactory answers, I would then look at the next step.

Depending on the question, is there somebody else who can answer for you? Maybe the RCIA director?

 

[tcm22]

What was the issue the priest was going to check on?

Graced Upon ~ I do not think the OP needs to share that…it is their personal informaton.

I had the same question as GracedUpon. Obviously the OP has the choice to keep personal issues to themselves, but the point is that not all issues are equal. Six weeks to get an answer on one issue may be way too long, while for other issues (perhaps a sticky marriage question for example) may take longer because it requires research and consultation.

It’s hard to advise when to let the process work, jump start it, or by pass it if you don’t have all the info.

I don’t think we’re pressing the OP for personal issues, just a bit more context to help advise a course of action.

BTW: I liked the response that said another face to face meeting may be in order. In a world of distractions, personal interactions sometimes is the best way to get things done.

 

[jmjconder]

I had the same question as GracedUpon. Obviously the OP has the choice to keep personal issues to themselves, but the point is that not all issues are equal. Six weeks to get an answer on one issue may be way too long, while for other issues (perhaps a sticky marriage question for example) may take longer because it requires research and consultation.

It’s hard to advise when to let the process work, jump start it, or by pass it if you don’t have all the info.

I don’t think we’re pressing the OP for personal issues, just a bit more context to help advise a course of action.

BTW: I liked the response that said another face to face meeting may be in order. In a world of distractions, personal interactions sometimes is the best way to get things done.

I will gently stand by my original statement. We do not need to know. I say that because we know it involves a reconcilation with the Church which already gives us a lot of information and it tells us it is a very sensitive and personal matter. We already know that it appears a bit complicated since it has taken months (remember this has been almost 1 yr) to this point…so it is not a simple matter…and it must be a very difficult issue for the OP to be going through.

I feel we are here to be the OP support system and prayer warrior’s, offer generic advise and not ask them to give us all the details of what I assume to be a personal and difficult matter.

That being said if the OP cares to share the details that is one thing…but saying the details are needed in order to better advise is another.

I praise God that the OP has had so much patience and courage to continue to reconcile with the Church. I promise to prayers for continued strength.

 

[lozeerose]

Again I would like to thank all who posted especially jmjconder. The prayers are appreciated and oh so needed.

Indeed my issue is a bit sticky and is of my own doing although I had help along the way. Unfortunately I am back into a similar situation of waiting. I am patient because I am loyal to my parish and it seems that when I least expect it, another step is taken in the right direction. I only pray that is something were to happen to me while in the interim the Lord would have mercy on my (I am partial to the Divine Mercy Chaplet) soul.

Thanks again and God bless you all.