Should I go to a baby shower for an unwed mother?

[Julie_Humphreys]

My sister-in-law is pregnant for the fourth time by three different men, out of wedlock. A baby shower is being given for her once again. I don’t approve of this behavior but I am pro-life, of course. Would going to the baby shower be the wrong thing to do?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

As a matter of principle, there is nothing wrong with going to a baby shower for a single mother. That said, I sympathize with your distaste for attending a party that has the appearance of honoring the irresponsible, immoral, and unrepentant behavior of this particular person. I also sympathize with your dilemma that this is your sister-in-law and the expected child will be your niece or nephew. Fortunately, you do have neutral grounds on which to refuse to go and still be a positive pro-life witness.

Baby showers ordinarily outfit first-time mothers with the paraphernalia necessary to make the transition to motherhood. Strictly speaking, generally, it is not traditional to give them for subsequent pregnancies. Since your sister-in-law is expecting her fourth child, you are free to skip the party on the grounds that you have already celebrated her transition to motherhood with her first, second, and third children.

Rather than attend the party, I recommend declining on grounds of having “another commitment” that day. After the baby is born, you can then make a point of visiting your sister-in-law to welcome the new niece or nephew, and take along a gift for the baby at that time.