Should I go to mass twice on Sundays?

[Victor2211]

My wife and I have two small children. Our youngest is only 18-months old. Last Sunday, my wife and I took turns taking our son (the 18-month old) outside everytime he got “ansy” so he wouldn’t disturb the people around us. As a result, I missed the homily and other parts of the mass. My wife missed a lot too. Are we required to go to another mass individually (without the kids) to fulfill our weekly obligation?

 

[PrayHarder]

I don’t believe so. You made the best effort you could and couldn’t participate fully for reasons outside your control. If you want to go again just to get more out of it, then fine. But your Sunday obligation was filled going to Mass and trying your best to participate.

 

[EasterJoy]

No. You did your best. If it happens on a regular basis, though, you might find it more sustaining if you and your wife could take turns getting a chance to go alone on Sundays when this is the way it is. You could also occasionally have one parent take the older one while the other stays home with the younger one, and then let the at-home parent go alone later. You could even get a sitter and go just with your older one on a Saturday night, for instance. None of this is necessary, but it is allowed, especially when the a child is not able to last through the whole Mass without being a distraction to everyone there.

I know it is also sustaining to go as a family. Sometimes, though, mixing it up gives some of the best of all worlds. Also, if your son starts “learning” messages you don’t want him to learn–like Mass is somewhere where life is more interesting if I act up a bit–then keeping him at home for a bit and then re-starting with a new pattern can be helpful. He doesn’t have an obligation, so taking him is a matter of getting him accustomed in a way it is desirable to have him accustomed. If he’s practicing bad habits, a haitus can help break that cycle.

That does not mean it is the end of the world if he acts up once in awhile. These are just things you can think about doing, depending on what you think will work best.

 

[Carolus_Martell]

Well you both made a conscience effort to attend the mass so that’s that. If your son didn’t get antsy it would have been a done deal. I take it there’s not a ‘cry’ room the both of you can sit together as a family?

 

[FullOfThought]

I don’t believe so, does your Church have a seperate room in which you can see and hear mass but not disturb others? It was very considerate of you to keep leaving!

 

[Victor2211]

Our church does not have a cry room. I really wish they did (it would help us out immensely!) Thank you all so much for your detailed replies.

 

[EasterJoy]

Our church does not have a cry room. I really wish they did (it would help us out immensely!) Thank you all so much for your detailed replies.

Meh…the cry room can teach your child habits that don’t transfer well into the main sanctuary. I figure they have their place, if you have one, they are fine to try, but if your parish doesn’t, your child will have to learn how to behave in church from the start. We wound up abandoning our cry soon after we started and kept the kids home from Mass for awhile, because they had picked up bad habits in the cry room. They thought Mass was a place to run around and do what you pleased, because that is pretty much what went on in the cry room. The audio was piped in, but it wasn’t easy to pay attention from there. Ours has a good view of the altar and it was still kind of like a gulag.

There are cases where going without is easier in the long run, so you might not be missing out as much as you might think. (Have some little sour grapes, to ease the pain. )

 

[dixieagle]

Meh…the cry room can teach your child habits that don’t transfer well into the main sanctuary. I figure they have their place, if you have one, they are fine to try, but if your parish doesn’t, your child will have to learn how to behave in church from the start. We wound up abandoning our cry soon after we started and kept the kids home from Mass for awhile, because they had picked up bad habits in the cry room. They thought Mass was a place to run around and do what you pleased, because that is pretty much what went on in the cry room. The audio was piped in, but it wasn’t easy to pay attention from there. Ours has a good view of the altar and it was still kind of like a gulag.

There are cases where going without is easier in the long run, so you might not be missing out as much as you might think. (Have some little sour grapes, to ease the pain. )

You’re right about many cry rooms!!! Ours seems to be a place where anything goes…little ones running around, arsenals of toys, thousands of cheerios and goldfish crackers everywhere.

I will have my 15 month-old grandson with me at Mass this evening; pray for me!!!

 

[mini_me640]

My parish has no cry room, but another nearby Church does and oddly it’s always filled with elderly people so it’s useless to bring your young kids in there to try and keep them from disturbing others…

 

[Kelfa28]

You’re right about many cry rooms!!! Ours seems to be a place where anything goes…little ones running around, arsenals of toys, thousands of cheerios and goldfish crackers everywhere.

I will have my 15 month-old grandson with me at Mass this evening; pray for me!!!

Good luck!

Our cry room is exactly the same way…it’s very annoying and hubby and I avoid it at all costs…our little one is still only 4 months and hasn’t gotten her “legs” yet.
But if she is cranky I’d rather pace the back of the church with her in my arms and participate that way…then deal with the cry room.

One of the biggest annoyances of the cry room is it’s always the same mothers in there and they treat it like a coffee hour or a play date with the kiddos running around.

Anyway…to the OP…you made an effort and you don’t “need” to attend another Mass…but if you want more out of it then just switch with your wife on going alone. My husband and I do that about once a month…but we like going as a family.