Should I go?

[MyPseudonym]

My friend invited me to a Protestant campus ministry tonight at my university. He asked if he would see me there and I said “Ok” without even thinking. Like when someone asks how you are and you say “good” without even thinking about it. I have a tendency to say things without even thinking. Probably because I’m so shy.

So would it be alright to go?

 

[Joe_5859]

My friend invited me to a Protestant campus ministry tonight at my university. He asked if he would see me there and I said “Ok” without even thinking. Like when someone asks how you are and you say “good” without even thinking about it. I have a tendency to say things without even thinking. Probably because I’m so shy.

So would it be alright to go?

I would recommend against going.

Why is it that you want to go? Is it simply because you feel funny not going after you instinctively said “okay”? I don’t think that’s a good enough reason to go.

I know how it is. I have a hard time saying “no”, too.

 

[MyPseudonym]

I would recommend against going.

Why is it that you want to go? Is it simply because you feel funny not going after you instinctively said “okay”? I don’t think that’s a good enough reason to go.

I know how it is. I have a hard time saying “no”, too.

I don’t really want to go. I’m just so shy that “ok” slipped out after he asked.

I don’t want to be a liar after I already said “ok”.

 

[RoseMary131]

My friend invited me to a Protestant campus ministry tonight at my university. He asked if he would see me there and I said “Ok” without even thinking. Like when someone asks how you are and you say “good” without even thinking about it. I have a tendency to say things without even thinking. Probably because I’m so shy.

So would it be alright to go?

Do you want to go? It is all right to go to a Protestant Campus Ministry program. You do not need to go just because you said “okay”.

 

[Joe_5859]

I don’t really want to go. I’m just so shy that “ok” slipped out after he asked.

I don’t want to be a liar after I already said “ok”.

You are allowed to change your mind.

If he asks you about it later, just apologize and say that you changed your mind. You don’t owe him any more of an explanation than that.

As a fellow shy person, I know what it’s like to speak too quickly to get out of uncomfortable situations. My brain needs more time to process information than a casual conversation usually offers.

 

[MyPseudonym]

You are allowed to change your mind.

If he asks you about it later, just apologize and say that you changed your mind. You don’t owe him any more of an explanation than that.

As a fellow shy person, I know what it’s like to speak too quickly to get out of uncomfortable situations. My brain needs more time to process information than a casual conversation usually offers.

So I wouldn’t be considered a liar for not going?

 

[chero23]

So I wouldn’t be considered a liar for not going?

Just tell your friend what you posted here. That the OK just came out without you actually being aware of the situation. i wouldn’t consider it lying, more of you being humble and telling your friend “hey, i misspoke sorry”.

 

[Joe_5859]

So I wouldn’t be considered a liar for not going?

Lying would be if you deliberately told him “Yes, I will definitely see you there!” while at the same time realizing that you had absolutely no intention of going.

As the Catechism defines it, “To lie is to speak or act against the truth in order to lead someone into error.” It doesn’t seem like that’s what happened. You just spoke too soon without thinking it through. That happens to all of us.

No, you wouldn’t be considered a liar for not going. If this happened regularly, he might think you’re being a bit flaky, though.

 

[coachdennis]

In the future, practice saying the word “No”.

THe word “No” is a complete sentence. It does not require a qualifier or explanation from you.

You will find your life much easier once you learn how powerful this word.

 

[MyPseudonym]

Thanks for all the responses!

And on the other hand, would it be a sin if I go to the Protestant ministry?

 

[Genesis315]

It depends. If there is a risk of indifference (ie giving the impression that one religion is as good as another or that we’re already fully united) or of harm to your faith, then yes. If not, then no, but you still can’t receive their “sacraments” or pray or sing anything that is contrary to the Catholic faith.

 

[GEddie]

Thanks for all the responses!

And on the other hand, would it be a sin if I go to the Protestant ministry?

It would not be a sin, as I understand it.

Collegiate events are mostly about fellowship. They do not imply conversion or commitment to the faith in question.

You could go, no problemo, but on the other hand, you could skip it and just tell your friend there was something else you needed to do. That’s always true in college. No further explanation, concerning shyness, words “slipping out,” or otherwise, is necessary.

ICXC NIKA

 

[Joe_5859]

Thanks for all the responses!

And on the other hand, would it be a sin if I go to the Protestant ministry?

It is a sin to endanger our faith by meetings we attend. Whether this particular meeting poses such a threat is something none of us can really answer for you. Some campus ministry programs are all about fellowship and they don’t care in the slightest what “denomination” you might belong to. Others actively try to proselytize people, especially Catholics.

Seeing as how you are in RCIA (and presumably are at the earlier stages of learning about the Catholic faith), I would encourage staying away for the time being. But again, your priest would be more familiar both with you and with this other ministry, so he’d be in a better position to give you clearer guidance.

Is there Catholic campus ministry at your school?

 

[kozlosap]

It is a sin to endanger our faith by meetings we attend. Whether this particular meeting poses such a threat is something none of us can really answer for you. Some campus ministry programs are all about fellowship and they don’t care in the slightest what “denomination” you might belong to. Others actively try to proselytize people, especially Catholics.

Seeing as how you are in RCIA (and presumably are at the earlier stages of learning about the Catholic faith), I would encourage staying away for the time being. But again, your priest would be more familiar both with you and with this other ministry, so he’d be in a better position to give you clearer guidance.

Is there Catholic campus ministry at your school?

If we were to take what you said as the “gospel” truth, then the Cardinal that attended the National Prayer Service that was televised this morning was endangering his faith?

 

[Joe_5859]

If we were to take what you said as the “gospel” truth, then the Cardinal that attended the National Prayer Service that was televised this morning was endangering his faith?

You misunderstand what I am saying.

The general principle is that we are not to endanger our faith by the meetings we attend (or the books we read or the movies we watch, etc.). We ought to safeguard our faith and our relationship with the Lord and not put ourselves into situations where we might be led away from him.

How this general principle applies to any given situation is a matter of prudential judgment from a well-formed conscience. A Cardinal of the Church is not going to abandon Catholicism for Protestantism because he attends an ecumenical prayer meeting. There is no danger there. A college student who is just learning about the Catholic faith who goes to a Protestant Bible study could be in danger of losing his/her faith by attending such a meeting. Maybe a well-versed Protestant will ask questions that the neophyte is unprepared to answer. And because he/she does not know the answer, he/she might be convinced that there is no answer and the Protestant interpretation must be correct.

This is why I suggested the OP talk to his/her priest. All I know about the OP is what it says in the profile “In RCIA” and (based on the OP) presumably a college student. To me, that indicates a need for caution. The OP is in the process of converting, which suggests that he/she may not be well-versed in the Catholic faith just yet. And I have known some Protestant campus ministry programs to really pressure Catholics to leave their Catholic faith. As going to such a study is definitely not an obligation, I think it more prudent to encourage the OP not to attend. The shy nature of the OP and apparent willingness to “go along just to get along” only heightens my wariness.

Now, maybe the OP is a college student in RCIA, but he/she is a graduate student and has been studying Catholicism and apologetics for the past five years and knows the Bible and Catechism inside and out. And maybe the Protestant ministry group is full of laid-back people who just want some Christian fellowship and a chance to eat pizza and have a few laughs and no member of the group would ever dream of proselytizing. If that’s the situation, then the OP’s priest might tell him/her that it’s just fine to go because it would not pose a significant danger to his/her faith.

The OP asked for advice about his/her specific situation and I simply suggested what I believe to be the most prudent course of action based on the little info available. It seemed to me that he/she didn’t really even want to go but simply felt obligated out a sense of not wanting to be deceitful. Since it does not strike me as an instance of lying, I was trying to encourage the OP that it is okay not to go.

If the OP was a bishop asking for advice, my comments would have been much different.

 

[DexUK]

Simple answer:

Just contact your friend and tell them that they shouldn’t wait around or go looking for you as you’ve changed your mind and you’re staying in / doing something else.

If you’re asked for a reason why, state the simple truth: you don’t feel comfortable going to a religious event that isn’t part of your particular faith. Tell your friend to have a good time and you’ll see him/her later.

I appreciate the time has probably come and gone now and it’s no longer an urgent consideration, but if something like this comes up in the future, then that’s the approach to take. Nobody will think any the worse of you because of it. People change their minds about going to things all the time. If you don’t make a big deal of it, neither will they.