Should I have an expensive wedding

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BenjaminM

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I’m currently single looking for marriage and believe getting married in a resister office is fine. Most women want a diamond ring & the white dress, my question doses an expensive wedding show commitment?
 
No, you should not have an expensive wedding. Extravagance is not an indication of commitment. Expensive weddings add unnecessary financial stress to the beginning of a relationship.
 
BenjaminM said:
I’m currently single looking for marriage
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Let’s not get ahead of ourselves then.
BenjaminM said:
believe getting married in a resister office is fine
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This isn’t fine if you’re Catholic. If you or your future spouse, when that day comes, is Catholic, you will need to marry in the Church for it to be valid.

It needn’t be expensive, of course. It will need to be valid.

-Fr ACEGC
 
I’m religious but feel diamonds are being lab produced now, so supply devaules real diamonds prices and second hand wedding dresses can maintain value but my issues was venues and guests the office is thusly cheaper and is more humbling, there’s nothing biblical about weddings maby a Bible passage to soothe the crowd
 
BenjaminM said:
’m currently single looking for marriage and believe getting married in a resister office is fine. Most women want a diamond ring & the white dress, my question doses an expensive wedding show commitment?
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For a man looking for marriage, you seem a bit down on women.

Making assumptions about what “most” women want won’t get you very far.
 
BenjaminM said:
I’m religious but feel diamonds are being lab produced now, so supply devaules real diamonds prices and second hand wedding dresses can maintain value but my issues was venues and guests the office is thusly cheaper and is more humbling, there’s nothing biblical about weddings maby a Bible passage to soothe the crowd
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That whole wedding at Cana story is certainly biblical. Weddings don’t need to be extravagant, but as Father said, they do need to be valid. (So if one of you is Catholic, either in a church or with a dispensation.)

And there’s nothing inherently wrong with a pretty dress and a party.
 
And as long as your future wife is fine with that it is fine.

But if she is Catholic, she will have different requirement than you desire.
 
I bought my own wedding ring after 20 some years of marriage, my dress was $15 on from a thrift store.

As a Catholic, you marry with the permission of the Church. The accouterments are up to you and your finance.
 
First find a good spouse, only at that point worry about the wedding ceremony, Also, nothing is wrong with having a simple wedding but often there are a lot of expectations and cultural differences about weddings. I would have loved to marry just with few relatives and friends around, in a small church in the mountains. Instead I ended up marrying somebody from a culture in which there is a lot of social pressure about big wedding ceremonies, with a lot of people invited out of family and even business ties. So my wedding was fun but not exactly the way I imagined it when I was single.
 
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BenjaminM said:
I’m currently single looking for marriage and believe getting married in a resister office is fine. Most women want a diamond ring & the white dress, my question doses an expensive wedding show commitment?
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What is a resister office and where do you find it?
 
You realize that there are some mother of the bride who have their daughter’s wedding all planned out in their head, right? lol
 
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How about when you meet the woman you want to marry, you sit down with her and discuss what she wants, what you want, how the parents might fit into this, and how you will be paying for it, or even “if” you will be paying for it because sometimes the parents want to pay.

Some women have been wanting a particular kind of nice wedding since they were very young, others would be happier with a low-budget event and put the money towards something else like a honeymoon trip or a house.

I do not like the ethics of how diamonds are created/ mined/ sold either, which is why my engagement ring was a vintage one from the early 1900s and not a diamond.
 
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@BenjaminM I’m currently single looking for marriage …
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@edward_george1 Let’s not get ahead of ourselves then.
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Actually, you aren’t wrong to consider the nature of a wedding. Some couples focus on the wedding, rather than the marriage. If you doubt it, binge-watch BRIDEZILLAS … then pray for them.

Miss Manners (another old maid, at least professionally) advised: “Every wedding’s problems will be one size larger than the wedding. A small wedding generates medium problems. A medium wedding generates large problems. A large wedding generates gigantic problems. An elopement generates both sides of the family complaining for the rest of their lives.”

She also mentioned that “Wedding cakes are supposed to be gaudy. Go eat a donut to satisfy your aesthetic tastes. But you have an obligation not to take up your guests’ meal hours without feeding them.”

If you don’t want to go into debt and alienate people for a one-day party, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. And if you fret that your bride already has a wedding in her mind with any interchangeable man-cog to plug into the machine, that’s not necessarily a bad question. A wedding actually can show how a couple handles stress and honest disagreement. It also shows whether you are in love with each other, or merely in love with love.

Yes, a big wedding can be wasteful. But a lot of jobs are created by the wedding industry. You’ll have to balance these factors as well.

I’d say your biggest problem right now isn’t a wedding. It’s finding a woman who won’t smile and then run like the wind when you mention marriage on the first date. It’s okay to mention that it’s your goal. Just don’t borrow tomorrow’s arguments today. Slow down and relax. 🙂

And yes, I don’t know why you wouldn’t want to get married in church, unless they won’t let you in. But that’s a separate question than the one you asked.
 
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I honestly don’t remember disagreeing with my husband about anything having to do with our wedding.
We had a nice time planning it. We had a couple blowups from relatives who were aggravated about something, but that was it. We had a nice wedding and paid for almost all of it ourselves without incurring giant debts. The parents wanted to pay for some things so my mom bought my dress and my in-laws bought the flowers. We took the honeymoon 2 years later so it wouldn’t be too much at once (which turned out to be a good idea as I came down with laryngitis immediately after the wedding and was happy to rest in the hotel for 2 days and then go home).

A nice wedding doesn’t automatically mean debt, Bridezillas, and arguments. It can actually be a nice time spent with family and friends and each other.
 
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When I was living in Oxford, England, I was told the story of a couple who married at the Oxford University Catholic Chaplaincy. On the invitations they wrote, “Bring your own sandwiches. Donations to CAFOD.” I like this idea and would like to have a wedding that was as simple as possible. I don’t think it indicates any less commitment. Sometimes it seems to be the opposite. Look at the wedding of Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer. Their marriage wasn’t very happy.
 
I remember diamond ads from the 70s trying (and succeeding) to make men think they should be spending 3 months salary on a diamond.

I never bought into that way of thinking. I have a small by today’s standards, diamond that was my grandmother’s. My husband had it reset. My daughter said she might not even want a diamond. That’s a chunk of money that could be put to better use.
 
BenjaminM said:
I’m currently single looking for marriage and believe getting married in a resister office is fine. Most women want a diamond ring & the white dress, my question doses an expensive wedding show commitment?
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Don’t think I’ve come across a bloke thinking so much about the wedding before he’s found the girl!
 
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