Should I join a parish?

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emeise

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I am a 23-year-old. I go to Mass frequently throughout the week, including every Sunday. I love my Catholic faith. I have not been consistent in “where” I go to Mass since I was in college, however. It feels like, especially on Sundays, I am at a different parish every week. Mainly it’s because I travel so much! Although I’ve enjoyed the bit of variation, I am really yearning for some kind of stability and feeling of belonging to a community.

I really want to join a particular parish that’s less than 15 minutes from my parents’ house (where I live). However, I am going to be moving out of state within the next year to go to grad school.

Is it important to “officially register” at a parish? (I do, of course, want to be married someday within the Church.) What about people who are very transient in their state of life, like me?

Thanks for your opinions!
 
You should always be registered somewhere. It isn’t worth the aggravation of not being registered. Your geographical parish is the only one you have any rights at, if you are willing to fight for it. Outside of that if you aren’t registered they won’t marry you or baptize your kids.
 
emeise said:
I am a 23-year-old. I go to Mass frequently throughout the week, including every Sunday. I love my Catholic faith. I have not been consistent in “where” I go to Mass since I was in college, however. It feels like, especially on Sundays, I am at a different parish every week. Mainly it’s because I travel so much! Although I’ve enjoyed the bit of variation, I am really yearning for some kind of stability and feeling of belonging to a community.

I really want to join a particular parish that’s less than 15 minutes from my parents’ house (where I live). However, I am going to be moving out of state within the next year to go to grad school.

Is it important to “officially register” at a parish? (I do, of course, want to be married someday within the Church.) What about people who are very transient in their state of life, like me?

Thanks for your opinions!
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If you’re pretty sure you’re going to be leaving in a year and aren’t having any major life events, I wouldn’t bother.
 
You live with your parents? Their parish probably already has you on their rolls. They don’t take you off just because you get to be a certain age, not if you have never moved out.
 
I would. What negative outcone would you be eorried about? We moved around quite frequwntly and always registered.
 
Yes, register!
Ask the Lord who he wants you to meet there. You might make a life long friend. Go, be a blessing, and receive graces. Some of us, who have been laboring a long time, would appreciate a fresh face that smiles and says Good Morning.
 
Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut, everybody!

I forgot to mention this. In their database, I am sure I am still “officially” registered at the parish where I grew up, although I moved away for college and did not attend Mass there during that time. This parish has a number of huge problems, though. In fact, my parents don’t even go there anymore. I pray for the community very much, but honestly I do not want to be a member there, now that I can drive myself and I can essentially choose where to go. I want to be part of a faithful, orthodox Catholic community and I have certainly observed and experienced that in this other nearby parish (the one where I would register).

I guess my only concern is that, since I’m definitely moving away in a year, I worry that I wouldn’t make a very good parishioner. How do I still show that I want to still be part of this community when I’ll be living so far away? Although I hope to be able to come back when I am done with grad school, I have no idea or no guarantee that I’ll be able to find a job here. That’s part of why I thought I should wait until I’m more settled to join a parish. But in order to settle, in a way, I have to marry somewhere… Right? And when indeed the time comes to be married, I hope to be able to do this at a parish where I have meaningful connection and belonging.
 
Oh, I forgot that they also probably won’t bury you or give you a funeral. That isn’t so much a concern for you at your age and with your parents alive, but is another reason to be registered.
 
emeise said:
Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut, everybody!

I forgot to mention this. In their database, I am sure I am still “officially” registered at the parish where I grew up, although I moved away for college and did not attend Mass there during that time. This parish has a number of huge problems, though. In fact, my parents don’t even go there anymore. I pray for the community very much, but honestly I do not want to be a member there, now that I can drive myself and I can essentially choose where to go. I want to be part of a faithful, orthodox Catholic community and I have certainly observed and experienced that in this other nearby parish (the one where I would register).

I guess my only concern is that, since I’m definitely moving away in a year, I worry that I wouldn’t make a very good parishioner. How do I still show that I want to still be part of this community when I’ll be living so far away? Although I hope to be able to come back when I am done with grad school, I have no idea or no guarantee that I’ll be able to find a job here. That’s part of why I thought I should wait until I’m more settled to join a parish. But in order to settle, in a way, I have to marry somewhere… Right? And when indeed the time comes to be married, I hope to be able to do this at a parish where I have meaningful connection and belonging.
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What matters is that you are part of a community of faith. Register.
You never know, Someone might ask you to be a Godparent, and you’ll need a letter form your pastor.
 
white_sheep said:
Oh, I forgot that they also probably won’t bury you or give you a funeral. That isn’t so much a concern for you at your age and with your parents alive, but is another reason to be registered.
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In all my years, I have never refused a funeral for one in my pastoral care on such grounds; that is because whether the parishioner was registered or not is irrelevant, according to the norm of universal law.

A non-parishioner who either himself/herself or their family asked for the special request that the funeral take place in a church under my pastoral care would always be granted, as would a funeral for a non-parishioner whose death occurred in the parish, also according to the provisions of canon 1177 but without prejudice to the provisions of canon 1184 and 1185. Indeed, in the latter circumstances, I may not even have met the person.

What you write would, in fact, be a serious violation of canon law. If you are aware of such a case, you should report the matter to the bishop of your diocese immediately so that corrective measures may be taken.

*Can. 1177 §1. A funeral for any deceased member of the faithful must generally be celebrated in his or her parish church.

§2. Any member of the faithful or those competent to take care of the funeral of a deceased member of the faithful are permitted to choose another church for the funeral rite with the consent of the person who governs it and after notification of the proper pastor of the deceased.

§3. If a death occurred outside the person’s own parish, and the body was not transferred to it nor another church legitimately chosen for the funeral rite, the funeral is to be celebrated in the church of the parish where the death occurred unless particular law has designated another church.*
 
What you say about funerals is just as true about baptisms, weddings, and godparenting. It’s just better to be registered.
 
white_sheep said:
What you say about funerals is just as true about baptisms, weddings, and godparenting. It’s just better to be registered.
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No. Requirements related to funerals are assuredly not “just as true about baptisms, weddings and god-parenting.” That is the whole point of the canon I cited, sir, which I refer you back to re-read…

There is a distinct difference between someone who is being baptised or married or seeking to be a god-parent and someone for whom the funeral rites are being celebrated. In the case of the latter, the person is dead. They do not have anything to comply with in order to receive the assistance of the Church’s liturgy and prayers – the burden shifts to the priest who is approached to provide these last acts of the Church for one of her children who has departed this life. That is why the Church makes the maximum of provision in canon 1177. It is clear: The person does not have to be known to the parish or even have set foot into it the parish church for the provision of canon 1177 to be implemented.

No one is to be denied a funeral out of any parish the deceased or his/her family selected unless the pastor is invoking canons 1184 and 1185 or there is some extraordinary decision made about the case by the diocesan bishop.

Actually, since you yourself have brought up this matter, if someone is at the point of death, baptism and marriage for such a person would also not depend upon normal parochial requirements either – because one is literally racing the clock and delay cannot be accommodated. We are trained in how to deal also with those circumstances.
 
If the problem doesn’t exist for funerals then that is great. We should expand that to the other areas as well. Parish registration is not in canon law.
 
Yes. Parishes are huge.
I could tell you stories about people coming in making demands…like they can hire a priest for this that or the other and say they’ve been longtime parishioners and we’ve never seen them before. :rolleyes:
At least if they are registered a pastor can see if they have ever even showed up to Mass.
Do they use envelopes? Are they one committees? Do they volunteer in a ministry like St. Vincent de Paul or Altar Society? Do they have children in Formation classes? Did they receive Sacraments here? Not everyone is known by sight and first name in some parishes.
Plus we are taxed by the Archdiocese based on our parishioner count. Membership means making or breaking some priest’s budget with the taxes. We don’t want to count people who really have no association with the parish, nor do we want to under report.

People come on here all the time saying how horrible it is to ask people to register.
But the paperwork involved in a parish is something that the average parishioner doesn’t even know about.
It’s real.
 
You do not “have” to register to join a parish. The “thing” about “parish registration” is that it is not done in all countries. 😃

When we first arrived in the USA, my parents “registered” at the parish. Then the “envelopes” arrived. We found out that the “parish” kept a record of how much money each envelope-holder gave! Believing and practicing Matthew 6:2-4 (quoted below), those envelopes were always torn up (they had our address) and discarded. The envelopes were never used, but the parish would never stop sending them! Their excuse was that they would give us an accounting for the taxes at the end of the year. That really made my parents furious for they never reported on their taxes any monies given to the church. Of course the parish did not believe us, so we thought there has to be another reason for them to do this. :ehh: Did they know if we attended Sunday Mass without those envelopes? Well . . . everyone knew the Sunday we were not there for I was the Lector every single Sunday! That was the only time the family ever registered at a parish!
Matthew 6:2-4
2 So when you give alms, do not have it trumpeted before you, this is what the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets to win human admiration. In truth I tell you, they have had their reward. 3 But when you give alms, your left hand must not know what your right is doing; 4 your alms-giving must be secret, and your Father who sees all that is done in secret will reward you.
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One of my US-American friends was registered and attended that parish for many years, then moved cross-country. The diocese and parish are sending the “envelopes”, Cardinal’s appeal, and all the “junk mail” over there! When I asked what was the plan of action on that one, I was told, “Nothing for they made the effort to track me down, let them pay all this postage!”:rotfl:

What the South American community in this area understands is that this “registering thing” is all about money. The person is asked the line of work and place of work so that the salary may be calculated and the person “told” how much to give. There is a priest who “demands” registration at “his” parish who has actually said that the information was needed so that the parish may give it to the government if there was some catastrophe. Wonderful! The church is an agent of the government!:frighten:

I read the post by Don Ruggero that the deceased would have the Funeral Mass and Catholic burial even if not “registered” at that parish. That is good to know, but it was not bothering me because I try to live a “holy” life and stay in a good relationship with Our Lord. One may go to Confession and receive Communion at any RCC. Marriage? I think one may have the ceremony at either of the two people’s parish.

Further, people are counted like cattle at each Mass and the money may now be given electronically without even dropping an “envelope” in the “basket”. Would the “parish” count the person as attending Mass if the money is given? Of course, the person hopefully knows better than to think that the money satisfies the obligation to go to Mass.

And yes, there is quite a bit of paper-work done at the parishes and even more at the diocese level! Sadly, :bighanky:there are “rules” about the “rules”, the government, corporate, and spiritual sides of it all. The whole thing is tiring :yawn: and am going to:sleep:.

Hope this helped you even if a tiny bit. 👍

Have a blessed and happy Advent.

Luz Maria
 
white_sheep said:
If the problem doesn’t exist for funerals then that is great. We should expand that to the other areas as well. Parish registration is not in canon law.
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Here, you will forgive me if I feel the need for a different sort of clarification.

Canon law is clear that, when it comes to someone who is dead, there is a maximum of solicitude on the one hand and the fewest possible obstacles are to be created on the other hand.

The deceased Catholic has a right to the funeral rites in their parish church or any church that they choose or their survivors choose for them; the parish in whose boundaries they died also has a canonical obligation in regard to the deceased. This is the solicitude of a mother for her child.

In all of this, I have a serious obligation as a priest, both before God and before the Church, in favour of the deceased person who, after all, can no longer comply with any request or any norm of law…they’re dead. We want to assure that they are buried, which needs to happen expeditiously, with all the rites and assistance of the Church.

On the other hand, relative to someone who is alive, I have obligations as a priest regarding canon law and particular law. Someone who is being baptised has to be prepared for the sacrament and is to receive follow-up pastoral care and attention. For these reasons, I should properly be baptising my own parishioners and not someone else’s parishioners and certainly not random people – unless they are on the verge of death, in which case they of course are to be ministered to without regard for parish or diocese.

Also, the place of baptism, because of the nature of our sacramental record system in the Catholic Church, will follow this person until death and so the person baptised needs to have some sort of real relationship with the parish and pastors are rightly admonished to be most attentive to issues of canonical jurisdiction.

Relative to the sacrament of marriage, I have an obligation to assure that both the groom and the bride are, in fact, free to marry, that at least one of them is Catholic (since I cannot marry two non-Catholics), that the Catholic party(ies) have completed the sacraments of initiation and are practicing the faith, and of course I must conduct the pre-marriage investigations prescribed by canon law.

The couple must also be suitably instructed and prepared by someone – and it should normally be the parish priest of at least of them who takes that responsibility. So, again, given the intensity involved, I can understand why a parish priest would not wish to do this for someone who is not and will not be a parishioner.

Americans are very efficient about parish registrations and I appreciate the advantages of doing this. In making my earlier comment about the absolute necessity of complying with the latitude canon law demands of me relative to the pastoral care for the remains of the dead, I do not thereby wish to imply that I am calling for – or tolerate in myself – laxity in what canon law and particular law demands relative to the pastoral care of and preparing of one’s own parishioners for the various sacraments or the provisions that call upon me to respect the authority of those who properly shepherd their own flock – which are, canonically speaking, not my flock.
 
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