Should I leave the Church because I no longer believe?

[Kunos]

Until about six months ago I was a believing, practicing Catholic, a reader, and EMHC. Then one day at Mass, just after the consecration, I realized that I didn’t believe anymore. Not in anything. Zilch. Zip. I know it may be difficult to accept that someone could lose faith suddenly like that but, honestly, it’s what happened to me. I resigned from both lay ministries “for personal reasons” but continued to attend Mass, mostly at the request of my pastor who knows what happened – I didn’t think it fair to keep him in the dark about my reason for opting out of the ministries – but thought that I should “stay in touch.”

This priest and I have talked and talked over the last six months but it’s no use – there’s nothing there anymore. I haven’t been to Mass in many weeks now and I cannot see that I’ll be returning. This is a small parish and people talk. I’ve been thinking of putting an end to their speculation by leaving the Church. Do you think I should leave the Church?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

No, I don’t. I don’t know what advice your priest has been giving you, and don’t want to speculate. But I would be surprised if he has not advised you to persevere, to see this “unbelief” not as true atheism or agnosticism but as a cross offered to you by God. Sometimes God allows us to be stripped of our belief in him so that we may reach out for him in faith. Continuing to practice our faith, even when robbed of the comforts of faith, can be heroic virtue and can prepare us for sanctity. (Any number of saints suffered periods of doubt and spiritual darkness in their lives.)

Leaving the Church, on the other hand, is the easy way out and no solution at all. As a rough analogy, it would be like a physically blind person refusing to learn how to live without his sight. Instead of learning how to use a cane or work with a Seeing-Eye dog, the physically blind person would merely exist rather than truly live. In a similar way, if you drop out of the Church and give up the practice of your faith, you would merely be spiritually existing, rather than go through the hard work of learning how to truly live through this period of spiritual darkness.

I very much recommend to you that you ask your pastor for a referral to a spiritual director in your area. A balanced, orthodox, and spiritually mature director would be invaluable to you right now. You may also wish to read the books linked below.

**Recommended reading:

Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light** edited by Brian Kolodiejchuk, M.C.
Story of a Soul by St. Therese of Lisieux
Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales
The Practice of the Presence of God by Br. Lawrence
Seeking Spiritual Direction by Thomas Dubay, S.M.