Should I move to a different parish?

[Leegal]

He isn’t happy with what she has been doing for the parish. I found this out after talking to him.

I had really hoped that sides would not be taken after her and I split up, but it would seem she is driving it that direction. The pastor and I are pretty close and I certainly don’t want to drive a wedge in between the pastor and his staff. I will meet with him this week and talk about what is to happen in the very immediate future.

The bottom line is that this has been bringing me some great spiritual turmoil lately. It has been creating a lot of self-doubt having to deal with these confrontations lately and I am beginning to feel “spiritually ill”. For now, remaining at the church and fighting for what I feel is right and just does not seem worth it for all the spiritual turmoil it has been causing me.

If she wants to win this battle, she can feel as if she has won and I will back out, and she will have to confront her sins later in her life. I just can’t battle her on this with all of the twists the situation keeps taking. It is hard on me, the pastor, the parish, and while she may not admit it, it is hard on her as well.

Ite in pace,
Joshua C.

I will pray that you do the right thing, and the pastor does the right thing and that it works out for the best – for you and for the parish.

You are very kind – if she created the turmoil I would not be as worried about how hard it’s been on her. You must have a lot of forgiveness and patience in you.

God Bless.

 

[EasterJoy]

He isn’t happy with what she has been doing for the parish. I found this out after talking to him.

I had really hoped that sides would not be taken after her and I split up, but it would seem she is driving it that direction. The pastor and I are pretty close and I certainly don’t want to drive a wedge in between the pastor and his staff. I will meet with him this week and talk about what is to happen in the very immediate future.

The bottom line is that this has been bringing me some great spiritual turmoil lately. It has been creating a lot of self-doubt having to deal with these confrontations lately and I am beginning to feel “spiritually ill”. For now, remaining at the church and fighting for what I feel is right and just does not seem worth it for all the spiritual turmoil it has been causing me.

If she wants to win this battle, she can feel as if she has won and I will back out, and she will have to confront her sins later in her life. I just can’t battle her on this with all of the twists the situation keeps taking. It is hard on me, the pastor, the parish, and while she may not admit it, it is hard on her as well.

Ite in pace,
Joshua C.

You have a responsibility to keep others from the near occasion of sin, but you are taking that a bit too far. If there is a rift between pastor and staff over this matter, it has nothing to do with you.

Do you remember the Serenity Prayer?

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

Do you see that serenity lies not in avoiding bad scenes, but in remaining faithful through them? You can’t possibly run away from all the situations where someone can use you as an excuse to spread strife. Don’t try. You’ll run out of parishes long before you run out of strife.

Your job here is not to keep others from any opportunity to sin. Your job is to give them no direct tempation by your own behavior, but rather to be an example of patience and forebearance. There is a big difference.

Stick with this parish, and learn fortitude and patience.

 

[shainski]

A parish is so much more than a church.

If you have been there a long time, then you probably have friends in the community. If her time there isn’t destined to be long, then i wouldn’t leave unless it becomes so miserable for you. I agree that if you could choose ministries that were not so In-her-face.

 

[kbachler]

I think you should stay, just because its a good learning experience for both of you.

 

[joshvanrad]

I figured I would come back to this thread to pick up where it left off since it was a very pivotal point in my spiritual life.

I was discouraged and a couple people were put at odds and it affected more than I thought it would. I found myself hurting and alienated so I cut back my ministries and time around church to just serving 2 times a week and 1 hour of adoration. Through the couple months that this was going on I began to backslide spiritually and fall into bad habits. I dearly miss spending the time around my parish and I miss performing my ministries.

I plan to talk with the parish priest this week to inform him that I would greatly like to enter back into the ministries where I had left off. I am hoping that I can find the peace I was finding at the altar, once again. My spirit truly yearns for the fulfillment I was getting in the sanctuary and at the altar.

Ite in pace,
Joshua

 

[nickybr38]

I figured I would come back to this thread to pick up where it left off since it was a very pivotal point in my spiritual life.

I was discouraged and a couple people were put at odds and it affected more than I thought it would. I found myself hurting and alienated so I cut back my ministries and time around church to just serving 2 times a week and 1 hour of adoration. Through the couple months that this was going on I began to backslide spiritually and fall into bad habits. I dearly miss spending the time around my parish and I miss performing my ministries.

I plan to talk with the parish priest this week to inform him that I would greatly like to enter back into the ministries where I had left off. I am hoping that I can find the peace I was finding at the altar, once again. My spirit truly yearns for the fulfillment I was getting in the sanctuary and at the altar.

Ite in pace,
Joshua

Ah, thank you for checking in Joshua. I will be praying for you.

 

[joshvanrad]

Ah, thank you for checking in Joshua. I will be praying for you.

Thank you, and thank you to everyone who voiced concern and support in this thread.

It is a beautiful gift to know that you have the support of such a wonderful God-loving community.

If anyone needs to find me, I will be at the foot of the altar in albs, again!

Ite in pace,
Joshua

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I figured I would come back to this thread to pick up where it left off since it was a very pivotal point in my spiritual life.

I was discouraged and a couple people were put at odds and it affected more than I thought it would. I found myself hurting and alienated so I cut back my ministries and time around church to just serving 2 times a week and 1 hour of adoration. Through the couple months that this was going on I began to backslide spiritually and fall into bad habits. I dearly miss spending the time around my parish and I miss performing my ministries.

I plan to talk with the parish priest this week to inform him that I would greatly like to enter back into the ministries where I had left off. I am hoping that I can find the peace I was finding at the altar, once again. My spirit truly yearns for the fulfillment I was getting in the sanctuary and at the altar.

Ite in pace,
Joshua

Has there been any other change in the parish? Is the woman you are at odds with still there?

 

[joshvanrad]

Has there been any other change in the parish? Is the woman you are at odds with still there?

A person that we used to talk to mutually has more or less distanced himself from me. Other than that, no much has changed around the parish and she is still running the ministries.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

A person that we used to talk to mutually has more or less distanced himself from me. Other than that, no much has changed around the parish and she is still running the ministries.

Well, phooey. But can’t be helped, so do what you do with the courage of the Holy Spirit and the full armor of God!

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

 

[Irishgal49]

I am looking to get some completely outside opinions on my situation. The situation:

I had dated the liturgist of my family’s church and we split up on All Souls Day. The end of our relationship was turbulent, to say the least. Since the end of our relationship I have become more active in the church with the free time I have each day. I have found great fulfillment in serving the many ministries of the church. Some time after we split up we agreed that we would just treat each other in a professional manner (ie: parishioner and liturgist) and we would respect each others’ space and avoid seeing each other outside of that. She has not been professional about it or civil, and her perception is that I am just at this church to crowd her space. I had thought it would be possible for us to coexist while I perform my ministries, but she is showing me that that may not be the case.

She has made it very clear that she does not intend to stick around the parish and her time there is limited. She has made it very clear that she wishes to move from my home town and the church. So my question is:

Should I move to a different parish until she leaves to avoid her confrontational attitude, should I stay at the church and continue my ministries there, or should I stay at the church and give up my ministries until she is gone?

Thanks for any advice,
Joshua

Ite in pace!

I actually posted the same question, only I have difficulty with the priest. Anyway, the best advice I got was stick it out and offer up all the suffering for your sins and those in purgatory. She’s not there forever so here’s your chance to grace-build. I’m staying in mine and guess what? As soon as I made a commitment that leaving wasn’t an option, the wrestling was gone and the priest and I started getting along better. She’s just seeing if she can drive you away (Satan hates it when we serve the Church and attend Mass)–don’t cave in. Stand strong…I’m praying for you. Lorrie:thumbsup: