I would still write a letter to your bishop outlining what you have been through during this process. He really needs to know what is happening in his diocese.
There is a presumption that bishops see all the letters which come to them. So the first presumption, that the bishop would see the letter is not on the most solid ground.
The second presumption might be that the bishop knows more Canon law than thos who serve under him; that is not a given either - although it might be a possibility; we do have some bishops who have the degree, though not many.
And the third presumption, if the second one is correct, is that the bishop will not seek the advice of his “authorities” in the tribunal/Canon law department - which gets us right back to square one, having opened the door to more inflicted damage.
Not sure I would want to go to the bishop on my own. If it were my battle, I would have employed the services of someone outside the chancery with a Canon law decree to write my letter, if for no other reason than that if I got stonewalled there, I would be prompting my lawyer to write to Rome.
One should never go into battle without sufficient preparation.
I suspect that it is likely, with the 17,000 +/- parishes in the US, that this specific set of facts is not going to be coming across most people’s screens all that often, and is going to encounter people (most likely pastors) who know enough to resolve the issue.
It appears that the deacon did not know the law; the deacon went to someone who appears to possibly be the shortstop between the judicial vicar and the parishes who told the deacon “No”; then Boho ended up the same individual who apparently said “NO!”.
When one walks into the lion’s den, one is needed to be armed with something more than a smile and a BB gun.
And no, I am not a pessimist.
I am a realist.
).