Should I or am I just wrong?

[KendraDZ1902]

Yep, another one of those typical “Should I confess this” post. I don’t do these, I usually know if I should confess something, but I’m not sure about this.

I was lying in bed thinking bad thoughts about my soon-to-be-ex husband. They are usually fleeting thoughts like one night him spontaneously combusting came to mind. I laughed and went on my business of trying to fall asleep. Anyway, I chewed on this thought and well, I liked it.

I thought/decided that if my husband were to pass away I would show up in a Lilly Pulitzer dress with champagne in hand. That’s wrong right? I shouldn’t want to show up at a funeral in a bright floral print dress with a beverage known for celebrations.

Should I bring this up in confession?

 

[Catholic1954]

I wouldn’t bother. You are still in the grieving process over the divorce and trying to cope with the anger and resentment. Give yourself some time; if you still feel this way (or worse) after a few years, then you do have a problem and should seek help.

 

[phil19034]

I would bring it up because confessing it can help those thoughts to eventually go away.

BTW - I’m sorry you are going through this, I pray that you are ok (or will be soon).

God Bless!

 

[PaulfromIowa]

Avoid dwelling on negative thoughts towards others. They only become mortal sin if we deliberately entertain them.

 

[Dorothy]

I would bring it up because confessing it can help those thoughts to eventually go away.

BTW - I’m sorry you are going through this, I pray that you are ok (or will be soon).

God Bless!

I agree with the above post. I suggest that every time resentful mean thoughts come to you, just place your ex-husband in the hearts of Jesus and Mary. Both you and he will be blessed by this.

 

[ChurchSoldier]

It’s not unusual to have thoughts of bad things happening towards people who have hurt you. As long as you didn’t buy a gas can and make a date with him…

Seriously though, as has been mentioned, it is probably part of the grieving process at the loss of everything that the relationship was, or you had hoped it would be. You have mentioned having been in counseling before and I would encourage you to discuss your feelings with a counselor or a spiritual director if you have one. It will help you process and move through the pain more quickly so you can get to the freedom which lies on the other side.

Sorry you are hurting.

Pax.

 

[pianistclare]

Mention it in terms of seeking the grace to heal.
Confession is a wonderful source of grace.
Time will cover it, but in the meantime. your confessor can give you some good things to reflect on.
Love you gurl.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

I agree with the above post. I suggest that every time resentful mean thoughts come to you, just place your ex-husband in the hearts of Jesus and Mary. Both you and he will be blessed by this.

Gosh, I’m not at that point, yet. I’ve tried to praying for him during my nighttime prayers. I said something like, “Lord, I pray for my husband that he will be happy. No, You know that isn’t true right now.” I’m just not there yet.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

It’s not unusual to have thoughts of bad things happening towards people who have hurt you. As long as you didn’t buy a gas can and make a date with him…

Seriously though, as has been mentioned, it is probably part of the grieving process at the loss of everything that the relationship was, or you had hoped it would be. You have mentioned having been in counseling before and I would encourage you to discuss your feelings with a counselor or a spiritual director if you have one. It will help you process and move through the pain more quickly so you can get to the freedom which lies on the other side.

Sorry you are hurting.

Pax.

No, I’m not buying gas and asking him to meet up. lol.

I’ve talked about just wanting to get over him and the divorce and my psychologist keeps telling me that it isn’t going to happen over night. I want to wake up tomorrow, ok I wanted to wake up weeks ago, and be done and over it. It just doesn’t work that way.

He even stated that people who actually wanted the divorce and filed for it will grieve. Which is hard for me to wrap my mind around currently.

 

[Dorothy]

Gosh, I’m not at that point, yet. I’ve tried to praying for him during my nighttime prayers. I said something like, “Lord, I pray for my husband that he will be happy. No, You know that isn’t true right now.” I’m just not there yet.

God bless you and be your comfort throughout this trying time!

 

[KendraDZ1902]

Mention it in terms of seeking the grace to heal.
Confession is a wonderful source of grace.
Time will cover it, but in the meantime. your confessor can give you some good things to reflect on.
Love you gurl.

Thank you! I love you too!!

 

[underacloud]

I don’t think you need to confess it, in terms of it being a grave sin requiring mention.

But I would confess it anyway, because the sacrament is a great source of healing, and this is something that you want to be healed of. Some priests are better confessors than others, but if you happen to confess to a good one, you may find words of comfort or words of wisdom that will help you in your grieving process. Priests usually know a lot about grieving; helping people grieve is one of the most important roles they play.