Should I or does it make a difference?

[catholicboy2]

My sister has skipped mass a few times due to work and sometimes not so important things, which either way still makes a mortal sin. Now when she does go to mass she still receives the Eucharist. I don’t know if she doesn’t think that when she missed mass it was a mortal and I don’t know if she knows she shouldn’t receive the Eucharist. I think she does know because she just recently graduated from a Catholic high school, so I’m guessing they should have taught her that. But I don’t know whether I should tell her not to receive the Eucharist since she probably wouldn’t listen to me because I’m her younger brother. What my question is: Should I tell her not to receive and to try to live by better morals or should I let her be the way she wants to?
(I have thought in the past to tell her, but I never think about it until afterwards. Although there was this one time during mass when I remembered to, but at that time I was trying to keep bad and sinful thoughts away because at that time bad and sinful thoughts kept popping in my head and I was trying to keep them out and focus on the mass and on better, non-sinful things. I wasn’t thinking about those bad thoughts, they just kept popping up, but I was able to get rid of them at the end of the mass after it was too late.)

 

[LilyM]

First of all - skipping Mass due to work is not always grave/mortal sin. If her work is necessary, either in itself (say she works in health or emergency services or something) or for the financial support of herself or the rest of your family, then it’s justifiable.

If you do want to talk to her, it would be best to show her the relevant sections of the Catechism on receiving Communion, on the obligation to attend Mass, and on what constitutes mortal sin.

And don’t go into such a discussion presuming either that she knows that it’s sinful or doesn’t have good reasons that you don’t know about. Perhaps just give her the information and ask her to think and pray about it, and talk to your priest about it as well.

 

[catholicboy2]

Ok thanks
I don’t know if her work is justifiable since I don’t ask her about her finances and she works at Sam and Louies. It would probably be an uncomfortable conversation to talk to her. But I still think she’s skipped mass for other reasons like overslept (which wasn’t really her fault), but I also think there have been times when she just thought something was more important when it wasn’t. But still I don’t know if she knows it’s wrong or not.
So would it be bad/sinful to not tell her about it?

 

[catholicboy2]

What I mean is that I’m confused about whether I should tell her or not.
So is it bad/sinful to NOT tell her??

 

[RosaryCrusader]

What I mean is that I’m confused about whether I should tell her or not.
So is it bad/sinful to NOT tell her??

By all means, let her know. I wouldn’t exactly tell her that she needs to refrain from communion because you may not be privy to all the details that led to such a decision as missing Mass. But you can at least let her know that missing Mass without a serious reason is grave matter and one of 3 criteria for a sin to be mortal.

I think this can be done cordially without making assumptions or pointing the finger. Trust me, I’ve been there and done that so it’s good to give people the benefit of the doubt but let them know in case they might be ignorant of the matter.

These things are never fun to bring up - so be sure you offer this up as a sacrifice for the conversion of sinners or something before you do it

 

[damooster]

I’m kind of sneaky this way, but I would try to make it look like you are asking for her help in understanding the Catechism. For example, pick out a couple of things you may not fully understand, and stick that one in the conversation. That way you don’t come across as accusatory, you show her the relevant passage, she gets to be the big sister by trying to help you, and she may read something that she didn’t know. Big brothers/sisters don’t like to be corrected, but you can be the mature one by approaching it this way.

 

[catholicboy2]

ok thanks to all who answered
I wrote her a note and put it in her bedroom so hopefully she notices it.
I also hope she understands.
I tried to write it as casually as possible so hopefully she gets it.

 

[Sr_Sally]

I’m glad you took that route. Telling her not to go up while you are in Mass would not be the right thing.

A couple of things to remember is first that we should always try to put the most charitable interpretation on things that we can. You don’t necessarily know if she tried to get off work or switch shifts and couldn’t, which means missing Mass was not under her control. Also, from one Sunday to the next she may have been to confession.

If she does talk to you about your note, remind her that she can attend any Sunday Mass (including the anticipated Saturday evening Mass) at any parish to fufill her obligation. So if she wakes up late, she can drive to the next parish that may have an evening or late afternoon service. If she’s scheduled to work on Sunday, she can go to Mass Saturday evening. Maybe find out the Mass times at a few nearby parishes and give her that info.

If you approach this with love–not accusing her, but trying to help–I’m sure she will receive it better. Also, please always pray for her.