Should I remain friends with certain people?

[CrazyRachel]

Im sorry if this is the wrong section to post this thead as my question is about friends rather than family. But I do need your advice brothers and sisters as you’ve all always been so helpful. I have many kinds of friends, someof whom are Catholics and Christians and some of whom are very liberal, left wing and very very lost. Its a big mixture. I desperately try not to judge them. Hate the sin and not the sinner and all that. I love them, as I love everyone. Or at least I try to because God loves all of us and wants us to tove each other so I try to live this commandment out. But Im finding it difficult at the moment.

While I want to contunue to love my liberal left wing friends, Im finding it very difficult to want to contunue my relationships with them. As I have already said I try not to judge them but when they gladly tell me of some things they do (Im trying not to gossip and so I’ll try to not be too specific but some examples of the things they do is cheat behind their boyfriends backs, practically worship 50 shades of gray to the point of obsession, take drugs which terrifies me, sleep with numerous partners at once and justify it by saying they used a condom this time so its ok, and try to ram it down my throat why they think abortion is ok while I dont ram my opinions down their throats) all the while bad mouthing Christianity, particularly Catholicism, to my face even though they know full well Im a practicing Catholic. And what hurts most of all, its not me they’re disrespecting personally, and i wouldnt mind if they were for Jesus says in the Beatitudes you’re blessed when people insult you for His sake. Its God they’re disrespecting. Its Jesus they’re disrespecting. Not me. And thats what hurts. And Im so ahsamed of myself because I feel like Im not doing enough for God.

I try to tell my friends I dont think their options are sensible and their options wont make them happy in the long run but its no good. Im ignored and I think its my fault that Im ignored because I feel maybe I should be more passionate and zealous with my words and method. I try to preach without being preachy if you get my meaning, St Francis style. I want to tell them the truth without scaring them off by coming over as a stereotypical judgemental bible thumper and obviously this isnt working because I want to try and show them that Christians on the whole are not judgemental and unfriendly, in fact we love you and i want to set that example and try to win them over in this way. But my problem here is that in the past I had trouble contolling my temper. But now through God’s help Im less quick to loose my temper and Ive learned its better to hold my tongue and keep silent without condoning the wrong-doing Im constantly hearing about. “Just hold your ongue Rachel. You’ve tried. They’re not listening. Just shut up because if you keep talking and get nowhere, you’ll just loose your temper” But Im wondering would it be better to become passionate again for the sake of Jesus?

Im posting this now as a very upsetting incident occured yesterday when I was with a liberal friend. We didnt have a major argument and didnt fall out or anything but I woke up feeling very depressed today as the incident was very sensitive. I dont want to get into details but we witnessed something antisemetic. I thought it was terrible and I woke up today feeling thoroughly depressed over it but my friend tried to justify the incident and favoured the members of the other religion who carried out the antisemetic act.

I want to continue to love all people but I really feel I do not want to be friends with people who think its acceptable to blaspheme and trash the God I love in front of me, tell me all their problems (with no consideration for mine) and refuse to accept the advice i offer them. Then continue to sin, change nothing about their lives, and expect me to be there for them when it hits the fan. These days I feel like these friendships are not friendships at all, but they see me as some sort of emotional punch bag and I have to take what ever they throw at me. Its all give and no take.

So I suppose my main question is this: Is it unChristian and unkind of me to no longer wish to be friends with these people and therefore sinfull of me? And if so how do I continue? How do I evangelise God’s love and plan for them more effectively becuase I feel Im letting God and my friends down because obviously Im not doing it effectively enough.
Your advice and wisdom will be much apreciated. Give it to me straight. I love you all.

 

[Lisa1967]

Im sorry if this is the wrong section to post this thead as my question is about friends rather than family. But I do need your advice brothers and sisters as you’ve all always been so helpful. I have many kinds of friends, someof whom are Catholics and Christians and some of whom are very liberal, left wing and very very lost. Its a big mixture. I desperately try not to judge them. Hate the sin and not the sinner and all that. I love them, as I love everyone. Or at least I try to because God loves all of us and wants us to tove each other so I try to live this commandment out. But Im finding it difficult at the moment.

While I want to contunue to love my liberal left wing friends, Im finding it very difficult to want to contunue my relationships with them. As I have already said I try not to judge them but when they gladly tell me of some things they do (Im trying not to gossip and so I’ll try to not be too specific but some examples of the things they do is cheat behind their boyfriends backs, practically worship 50 shades of gray to the point of obsession, take drugs which terrifies me, sleep with numerous partners at once and justify it by saying they used a condom this time so its ok, and try to ram it down my throat why they think abortion is ok while I dont ram my opinions down their throats) all the while bad mouthing Christianity, particularly Catholicism, to my face even though they know full well Im a practicing Catholic. And what hurts most of all, its not me they’re disrespecting personally, and i wouldnt mind if they were for Jesus says in the Beatitudes you’re blessed when people insult you for His sake. Its God they’re disrespecting. Its Jesus they’re disrespecting. Not me. And thats what hurts. And Im so ahsamed of myself because I feel like Im not doing enough for God.

I try to tell my friends I dont think their options are sensible and their options wont make them happy in the long run but its no good. Im ignored and I think its my fault that Im ignored because I feel maybe I should be more passionate and zealous with my words and method. I try to preach without being preachy if you get my meaning, St Francis style. I want to tell them the truth without scaring them off by coming over as a stereotypical judgemental bible thumper and obviously this isnt working because I want to try and show them that Christians on the whole are not judgemental and unfriendly, in fact we love you and i want to set that example and try to win them over in this way. But my problem here is that in the past I had trouble contolling my temper. But now through God’s help Im less quick to loose my temper and Ive learned its better to hold my tongue and keep silent without condoning the wrong-doing Im constantly hearing about. “Just hold your ongue Rachel. You’ve tried. They’re not listening. Just shut up because if you keep talking and get nowhere, you’ll just loose your temper” But Im wondering would it be better to become passionate again for the sake of Jesus?

Im posting this now as a very upsetting incident occured yesterday when I was with a liberal friend. We didnt have a major argument and didnt fall out or anything but I woke up feeling very depressed today as the incident was very sensitive. I dont want to get into details but we witnessed something antisemetic. I thought it was terrible and I woke up today feeling thoroughly depressed over it but my friend tried to justify the incident and favoured the members of the other religion who carried out the antisemetic act.

I want to continue to love all people but I really feel I do not want to be friends with people who think its acceptable to blaspheme and trash the God I love in front of me, tell me all their problems (with no consideration for mine) and refuse to accept the advice i offer them. Then continue to sin, change nothing about their lives, and expect me to be there for them when it hits the fan. These days I feel like these friendships are not friendships at all, but they see me as some sort of emotional punch bag and I have to take what ever they throw at me. Its all give and no take.

So I suppose my main question is this: Is it unChristian and unkind of me to no longer wish to be friends with these people and therefore sinfull of me? And if so how do I continue? How do I evangelise God’s love and plan for them more effectively becuase I feel Im letting God and my friends down because obviously Im not doing it effectively enough.
Your advice and wisdom will be much apreciated. Give it to me straight. I love you all.

I had to end my relationships with certain people because I was drawing away from God when I was with them. I’ve also had people who would use me as a free counselor and I also had to bow out of that.

Ask God what He would have you do.

 

[90Domer]

I will give you the advice that I was told by a priest when trying to deal with a toxic family member, and I do think these friends probably fall in the same category.

The priest told me that even Jesus did not hang around in towns that did not welcome him or his message. He made an initial attempt and when He saw it was not fruitful, He “shook the dust off his sandals” and moved on. Take home message–even Christ didn’t stick around people who were unwelcoming. Thus, we as people do not have any obligation to hang around people who are not a good influence of us and bring us down.

It sounds like you have been terribly patient and kind. I assume these people know your religious affiliation? If so, I truly question their maturity and whether or not they fit the definition of friendship. Have you told them in the past that you not approve of some of the subjects they bring up? You can’t control their behavior but you can certainly control what you choose to listen to. Is there something they are giving you in return (support) so that you feel obliged to be there for them?

Them bringing you down is, I feel, the evil one’s attempt to separate you from your faith. The evil one loves to conquer and divide, and it sounds like he has some willing participants. Certainly pray for them, but in no way are you obliged to accompany people who are bad examples of morality because you are Catholic. I think the most Christian thing you can do is pray for them from afar but keep your faith strong. And remember, if your friend did something anti-Semitic in public, and if you acted like it didn’t phase you, it could lead other people to think that you approved. That may be a form of passive scandal.

Good luck. I will remember you in my rosary tonight.

 

[robwar]

you shouldn’t feel bad if you part ways with some of your friends based on what they believe.
Friendship is based on mutual respect as well as common interests and ideas. When those things collide then don’t feel guilty or like your are judging them if you part ways do to conflicts. It’s nice to try and have a variety of friends but sometimes views, ideas, practice collide and the chasm is to wide too make a bridge. That is not judging them, it is just reality.
Likewise, one should have friends that support, respect or tolerate what you believe. The saying “birds of a same feather flock together” is true.
have peace.

 

[victorbuhagiar]

When I was young I was always told to avoid rotten apples as these will make the good apples go bad. I think that is a sound advice. Try to be nice to everyone but bring up excuses and avoid the rotten apples. Do pray for them though.

 

[starryheart]

I actually am starting to separate myself from a certain couple, who for many years were my best friends, but were starting to lead me down the wrong path. Ask God to help you decide what to do.

 

[opus101]

all the while bad mouthing Christianity, particularly Catholicism, to my face even though they know full well Im a practicing Catholic.

I have the same problem, and find it quite the enigma. A person can disagree with a number of religions (for instance, Mormonism), but would not trash it in front of Mormon friends. If they wanted to have a respectful and charitable discussion about it, that would be one thing, but it’s just plain rude to speak ill of someone else’s religion right in front of them!

Maybe this happens because there are a number of Catholics who continually disparage their own religion, and people get used to it. They think ALL Catholics are like that, so they feel comfortable making those comments, thinking that you agree with them.

I’ve taken to saying things like “Ouch!” when these comments are made. At the next opportunity, I hope to say something like “You must have forgotten that I’m a Catholic.”

I have a number of friends like this, and am also seeking advice on the situation.

 

[PatriceA]

Nope I don’t think you should remain friends from the way you describe these people. Especially if there is ongoing drug use amongst the group. Its one thing to have a difference of opinion over a book like 50 Shades of Gray (I have some Catholic friends that think there’s nothing wrong with it) but illegal activity? Nope, I don’t want to be around that. I’d continue to pray for them, but I wouldn’t be around them as long as they are engaging in immoral and illegal activities.

 

[khuldar]

Im sorry if this is the wrong section to post this thead as my question is about friends rather than family. But I do need your advice brothers and sisters as you’ve all always been so helpful. I have many kinds of friends, someof whom are Catholics and Christians and some of whom are very liberal, left wing and very very lost. Its a big mixture. I desperately try not to judge them. Hate the sin and not the sinner and all that. I love them, as I love everyone. Or at least I try to because God loves all of us and wants us to tove each other so I try to live this commandment out. But Im finding it difficult at the moment.

While I want to contunue to love my liberal left wing friends, Im finding it very difficult to want to contunue my relationships with them. As I have already said I try not to judge them but when they gladly tell me of some things they do (Im trying not to gossip and so I’ll try to not be too specific but some examples of the things they do is cheat behind their boyfriends backs, practically worship 50 shades of gray to the point of obsession, take drugs which terrifies me, sleep with numerous partners at once and justify it by saying they used a condom this time so its ok, and try to ram it down my throat why they think abortion is ok while I dont ram my opinions down their throats) all the while bad mouthing Christianity, particularly Catholicism, to my face even though they know full well Im a practicing Catholic. And what hurts most of all, its not me they’re disrespecting personally, and i wouldnt mind if they were for Jesus says in the Beatitudes you’re blessed when people insult you for His sake. Its God they’re disrespecting. Its Jesus they’re disrespecting. Not me. And thats what hurts. And Im so ahsamed of myself because I feel like Im not doing enough for God.

I try to tell my friends I dont think their options are sensible and their options wont make them happy in the long run but its no good. Im ignored and I think its my fault that Im ignored because I feel maybe I should be more passionate and zealous with my words and method. I try to preach without being preachy if you get my meaning, St Francis style. I want to tell them the truth without scaring them off by coming over as a stereotypical judgemental bible thumper and obviously this isnt working because I want to try and show them that Christians on the whole are not judgemental and unfriendly, in fact we love you and i want to set that example and try to win them over in this way. But my problem here is that in the past I had trouble contolling my temper. But now through God’s help Im less quick to loose my temper and Ive learned its better to hold my tongue and keep silent without condoning the wrong-doing Im constantly hearing about. “Just hold your ongue Rachel. You’ve tried. They’re not listening. Just shut up because if you keep talking and get nowhere, you’ll just loose your temper” But Im wondering would it be better to become passionate again for the sake of Jesus?

Im posting this now as a very upsetting incident occured yesterday when I was with a liberal friend. We didnt have a major argument and didnt fall out or anything but I woke up feeling very depressed today as the incident was very sensitive. I dont want to get into details but we witnessed something antisemetic. I thought it was terrible and I woke up today feeling thoroughly depressed over it but my friend tried to justify the incident and favoured the members of the other religion who carried out the antisemetic act.

I want to continue to love all people but I really feel I do not want to be friends with people who think its acceptable to blaspheme and trash the God I love in front of me, tell me all their problems (with no consideration for mine) and refuse to accept the advice i offer them. Then continue to sin, change nothing about their lives, and expect me to be there for them when it hits the fan. These days I feel like these friendships are not friendships at all, but they see me as some sort of emotional punch bag and I have to take what ever they throw at me. Its all give and no take.

So I suppose my main question is this: Is it unChristian and unkind of me to no longer wish to be friends with these people and therefore sinfull of me? And if so how do I continue? How do I evangelise God’s love and plan for them more effectively becuase I feel Im letting God and my friends down because obviously Im not doing it effectively enough.
Your advice and wisdom will be much apreciated. Give it to me straight. I love you all.

Leave them. Surround yourself with like minded people. I know it maybe hard and feel like an arm is amputated or something, but it will be the best thing. Maybe if it helps be honest with them? i.e. “I can’t be friends with you anymore because of…” I’ve had to go through this before & whilst it’s hard at the time God will honor your commitment to him.

I also agree with 90 Domer:

Them bringing you down is, I feel, the evil one’s attempt to separate you from your faith. The evil one loves to conquer and divide, and it sounds like he has some willing participants. Certainly pray for them, but in no way are you obliged to accompany people who are bad examples of morality because you are Catholic. I think the most Christian thing you can do is pray for them from afar but keep your faith strong

Be who you are in God, Love him and be open to him, as it is written in scripture:

Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened,
and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
for I am meek and humble of heart;
and you will find rest for yourselves.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.
Matthew 11: 28-30

God Bless.

 

[georget]

I agree with the others, you must love them and leave them. And pray for them.

 

[SonCatcher]

You have tried to warn your friends that their lasciviousness would not lead them to happiness. They will hopefully remember your warning when they discover this for themselves and come to conversion at that time.

Everyone has a different job in the evangelization of others. Some see the beginning while others see the end. Don’t worry about what your part is.

 

[Ellen_Mary]

Im sorry if this is the wrong section to post this thead as my question is about friends rather than family. But I do need your advice brothers and sisters as you’ve all always been so helpful. I have many kinds of friends, someof whom are Catholics and Christians and some of whom are very liberal, left wing and very very lost. Its a big mixture. I desperately try not to judge them. Hate the sin and not the sinner and all that. I love them, as I love everyone. Or at least I try to because God loves all of us and wants us to tove each other so I try to live this commandment out. But Im finding it difficult at the moment.

While I want to contunue to love my liberal left wing friends, Im finding it very difficult to want to contunue my relationships with them. As I have already said I try not to judge them but when they gladly tell me of some things they do (Im trying not to gossip and so I’ll try to not be too specific but some examples of the things they do is cheat behind their boyfriends backs, practically worship 50 shades of gray to the point of obsession, take drugs which terrifies me, sleep with numerous partners at once and justify it by saying they used a condom this time so its ok, and try to ram it down my throat why they think abortion is ok while I dont ram my opinions down their throats) all the while bad mouthing Christianity, particularly Catholicism, to my face even though they know full well Im a practicing Catholic. And what hurts most of all, its not me they’re disrespecting personally, and i wouldnt mind if they were for Jesus says in the Beatitudes you’re blessed when people insult you for His sake. Its God they’re disrespecting. Its Jesus they’re disrespecting. Not me. And thats what hurts. And Im so ahsamed of myself because I feel like Im not doing enough for God.

I try to tell my friends I dont think their options are sensible and their options wont make them happy in the long run but its no good. Im ignored and I think its my fault that Im ignored because I feel maybe I should be more passionate and zealous with my words and method. I try to preach without being preachy if you get my meaning, St Francis style. I want to tell them the truth without scaring them off by coming over as a stereotypical judgemental bible thumper and obviously this isnt working because I want to try and show them that Christians on the whole are not judgemental and unfriendly, in fact we love you and i want to set that example and try to win them over in this way. But my problem here is that in the past I had trouble contolling my temper. But now through God’s help Im less quick to loose my temper and Ive learned its better to hold my tongue and keep silent without condoning the wrong-doing Im constantly hearing about. “Just hold your ongue Rachel. You’ve tried. They’re not listening. Just shut up because if you keep talking and get nowhere, you’ll just loose your temper” But Im wondering would it be better to become passionate again for the sake of Jesus?

Im posting this now as a very upsetting incident occured yesterday when I was with a liberal friend. We didnt have a major argument and didnt fall out or anything but I woke up feeling very depressed today as the incident was very sensitive. I dont want to get into details but we witnessed something antisemetic. I thought it was terrible and I woke up today feeling thoroughly depressed over it but my friend tried to justify the incident and favoured the members of the other religion who carried out the antisemetic act.

I want to continue to love all people but I really feel I do not want to be friends with people who think its acceptable to blaspheme and trash the God I love in front of me, tell me all their problems (with no consideration for mine) and refuse to accept the advice i offer them. Then continue to sin, change nothing about their lives, and expect me to be there for them when it hits the fan. These days I feel like these friendships are not friendships at all, but they see me as some sort of emotional punch bag and I have to take what ever they throw at me. Its all give and no take.

So I suppose my main question is this: Is it unChristian and unkind of me to no longer wish to be friends with these people and therefore sinfull of me? And if so how do I continue? How do I evangelise God’s love and plan for them more effectively becuase I feel Im letting God and my friends down because obviously Im not doing it effectively enough.
Your advice and wisdom will be much apreciated. Give it to me straight. I love you all.

From reading your post I feel that you have done all you can to help these friends. They are disrespectful of both Our Lord and also your friendship. Dont allow them to bring you down any longer and be sure that Our Lord knows your heart and how hard you have tried. Sending blessing and hope you’re feeling brighter now.

 

[mcrts]

Im sorry if this is the wrong section to post this thead as my question is about friends rather than family. But I do need your advice brothers and sisters as you’ve all always been so helpful. I have many kinds of friends, someof whom are Catholics and Christians and some of whom are very liberal, left wing and very very lost. Its a big mixture. I desperately try not to judge them. Hate the sin and not the sinner and all that. I love them, as I love everyone. Or at least I try to because God loves all of us and wants us to tove each other so I try to live this commandment out. But Im finding it difficult at the moment.

While I want to contunue to love my liberal left wing friends, Im finding it very difficult to want to contunue my relationships with them. As I have already said I try not to judge them but when they gladly tell me of some things they do (Im trying not to gossip and so I’ll try to not be too specific but some examples of the things they do is cheat behind their boyfriends backs, practically worship 50 shades of gray to the point of obsession, take drugs which terrifies me, sleep with numerous partners at once and justify it by saying they used a condom this time so its ok, and try to ram it down my throat why they think abortion is ok while I dont ram my opinions down their throats) all the while bad mouthing Christianity, particularly Catholicism, to my face even though they know full well Im a practicing Catholic. And what hurts most of all, its not me they’re disrespecting personally, and i wouldnt mind if they were for Jesus says in the Beatitudes you’re blessed when people insult you for His sake. Its God they’re disrespecting. Its Jesus they’re disrespecting. Not me. And thats what hurts. And Im so ahsamed of myself because I feel like Im not doing enough for God.

I try to tell my friends I dont think their options are sensible and their options wont make them happy in the long run but its no good. Im ignored and I think its my fault that Im ignored because I feel maybe I should be more passionate and zealous with my words and method. I try to preach without being preachy if you get my meaning, St Francis style. I want to tell them the truth without scaring them off by coming over as a stereotypical judgemental bible thumper and obviously this isnt working because I want to try and show them that Christians on the whole are not judgemental and unfriendly, in fact we love you and i want to set that example and try to win them over in this way. But my problem here is that in the past I had trouble contolling my temper. But now through God’s help Im less quick to loose my temper and Ive learned its better to hold my tongue and keep silent without condoning the wrong-doing Im constantly hearing about. “Just hold your ongue Rachel. You’ve tried. They’re not listening. Just shut up because if you keep talking and get nowhere, you’ll just loose your temper” But Im wondering would it be better to become passionate again for the sake of Jesus?

Im posting this now as a very upsetting incident occured yesterday when I was with a liberal friend. We didnt have a major argument and didnt fall out or anything but I woke up feeling very depressed today as the incident was very sensitive. I dont want to get into details but we witnessed something antisemetic. I thought it was terrible and I woke up today feeling thoroughly depressed over it but my friend tried to justify the incident and favoured the members of the other religion who carried out the antisemetic act.

I want to continue to love all people but I really feel I do not want to be friends with people who think its acceptable to blaspheme and trash the God I love in front of me, tell me all their problems (with no consideration for mine) and refuse to accept the advice i offer them. Then continue to sin, change nothing about their lives, and expect me to be there for them when it hits the fan. These days I feel like these friendships are not friendships at all, but they see me as some sort of emotional punch bag and I have to take what ever they throw at me. Its all give and no take.

So I suppose my main question is this: Is it unChristian and unkind of me to no longer wish to be friends with these people and therefore sinfull of me? And if so how do I continue? How do I evangelise God’s love and plan for them more effectively becuase I feel Im letting God and my friends down because obviously Im not doing it effectively enough.
Your advice and wisdom will be much apreciated. Give it to me straight. I love you all.

It sounds to me here that you’ve done everything you can for your friends. Continue to pray for them but it is wise not to associate closely with them any longer. They are detrimental yo you and your spiritual life. You are wearing thin as you have been too patient with them. Even Jesus lost his temper- “Don’t treat my Fathers house as a marketplace.” What they are doing seems to be similar to those temple elders of Jesus day. They are descrating the Body of Christ which seems okay to them. But you know it isn’t. Pray for their conversion. The Lord can touch even the stoniest of hearts.

 

[A_G]

You are a great person. You are true to your faith. These other people that you have described however, are not real friends if they are trying to lead you away from God and His Church. You tried to give them the good news. You tried to bring the Lord into their lives. You tried to do the right thing, but it seems that they have rejected it over and over again. I can’t tell you what to do my friend, but I know that I would leave them.

 

[CrazyRachel]

Wow! Thank you everyone for your responses already!

I will give you the advice that I was told by a priest when trying to deal with a toxic family member, and I do think these friends probably fall in the same category.

The priest told me that even Jesus did not hang around in towns that did not welcome him or his message. He made an initial attempt and when He saw it was not fruitful, He “shook the dust off his sandals” and moved on. Take home message–even Christ didn’t stick around people who were unwelcoming. Thus, we as people do not have any obligation to hang around people who are not a good influence of us and bring us down.

It sounds like you have been terribly patient and kind. I assume these people know your religious affiliation? If so, I truly question their maturity and whether or not they fit the definition of friendship. Have you told them in the past that you not approve of some of the subjects they bring up? You can’t control their behavior but you can certainly control what you choose to listen to. Is there something they are giving you in return (support) so that you feel obliged to be there for them?

Them bringing you down is, I feel, the evil one’s attempt to separate you from your faith. The evil one loves to conquer and divide, and it sounds like he has some willing participants. Certainly pray for them, but in no way are you obliged to accompany people who are bad examples of morality because you are Catholic. I think the most Christian thing you can do is pray for them from afar but keep your faith strong. And remember, if your friend did something anti-Semitic in public, and if you acted like it didn’t phase you, it could lead other people to think that you approved. That may be a form of passive scandal.

Good luck. I will remember you in my rosary tonight.

That is some very reassuring advice the priest gave you. It actually makes alot of sense when you put it that way, and if this example is given to us by Jesus then it cant be bad. Ive often felt that the evil one has tried to steel me away and has quite often almost succeeded. But I wont let him. God wont let him. But it feels like a massive fight every day against darkness and all i want is to be consumed by light. But yes, they do know my religious affiliation, its no secret. And yes there have been times Ive told them I dont want to hear certain things especially in my own house, as i have always made my house a welcome place for my friends, but they carry on regaurdless. And no, to be honest, theres nothing they give me in return. Not support, not a shoulder to cry on when i need one, not anything.

As for the anti-semetic act, my friend didnt participate. It was something we witnessed. I was devistated by what we saw and when I expressed my disgust it was almost like my friend was trying to calm me down and saying things like maybe the people who did the horrible act werent really aware of what they were doing and maybe they had their reasons. It was like she was trying to take the politically correct side rather than take the right side. It was appauling and nothing can justify what we saw. I could feel this morrally in my bones and I couldnt believe how anyone could not feel the same as me.

Oh thank you for remembering me in your rosary! It will benefit me greatly, i know it. I love you. xxx

 

[CrazyRachel]

When I was young I was always told to avoid rotten apples as these will make the good apples go bad. I think that is a sound advice. Try to be nice to everyone but bring up excuses and avoid the rotten apples. Do pray for them though.

I shall do this. Thank you for the good advice.

I actually am starting to separate myself from a certain couple, who for many years were my best friends, but were starting to lead me down the wrong path. Ask God to help you decide what to do.

I have the same problem, and find it quite the enigma. A person can disagree with a number of religions (for instance, Mormonism), but would not trash it in front of Mormon friends. If they wanted to have a respectful and charitable discussion about it, that would be one thing, but it’s just plain rude to speak ill of someone else’s religion right in front of them!

Maybe this happens because there are a number of Catholics who continually disparage their own religion, and people get used to it. They think ALL Catholics are like that, so they feel comfortable making those comments, thinking that you agree with them.

I’ve taken to saying things like “Ouch!” when these comments are made. At the next opportunity, I hope to say something like “You must have forgotten that I’m a Catholic.”

I have a number of friends like this, and am also seeking advice on the situation.

Wow, sounds like we’re in the same boat together The thing is I make it no secret that Im happy to be a Catholic, without forcing anything down anyones throats. I just live my life and Im proud of who and what I am. But one time I happened to mention my Catholicism to a friend in conversation and she was so shocked to realise I was a Catholic. She had never known one before so I didnt take her reaction personally. Then a few days later, it happened to be the Christmas Eve when Pope Benedict got pushed to the ground, it was as if she had accidentally on purposefully forgotten our conversation but made a point of saying to me, “oh my boyfriend and I were discussing how we think Catholicism is the only religion that should be brought to an end because of X,Y and Z…” baring in mind she said this to me infront of the boyfriend and other company probably so that I wouldnt make a scene, even so i was too gob smacked and hurt to say anything, because i knew if I had said something I would have went crazy.

Nope I don’t think you should remain friends from the way you describe these people. Especially if there is ongoing drug use amongst the group. Its one thing to have a difference of opinion over a book like 50 Shades of Gray (I have some Catholic friends that think there’s nothing wrong with it) but illegal activity? Nope, I don’t want to be around that. I’d continue to pray for them, but I wouldn’t be around them as long as they are engaging in immoral and illegal activities.

Thankfully the drug use isnt really an ongoing thing, but it does sporadically happen and its worrying

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

…] and try to ram it down my throat why they think abortion is ok while I dont ram my opinions down their throats) all the while bad mouthing Christianity, particularly Catholicism, to my face even though they know full well Im a practicing Catholic. And what hurts most of all, its not me they’re disrespecting personally.

It seems like they are very much disrespecting you. They are disrespectful about your beliefs and ram their opinions down your throat, while they know very well what you think about these matters. Real friends don’t do that. (It took me a while to understand that, because I was so used to the current trend of people feeling free to bash Christianity, I though I practically deserved it. Silly me.)

It would be wise if you removed yourself from such an unhealthy environment. You can be as loving and supportive and tolerant as you like, but if people are not willing to give the same treatment to you, you will end up feeling even more frustrated and resentful. Friendship is not a one way street, and from what you describe, it sounds like you have reached a dead end. Ending relationships that are bad for us and moving on is a part of maturing and becoming an adult.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

And yes there have been times Ive told them I dont want to hear certain things especially in my own house, as i have always made my house a welcome place for my friends, but they carry on regaurdless. And no, to be honest, theres nothing they give me in return. Not support, not a shoulder to cry on when i need one, not anything.

…] I was devistated by what we saw and when I expressed my disgust it was almost like my friend was trying to calm me down and saying things like maybe the people who did the horrible act werent really aware of what they were doing and maybe they had their reasons. It was like she was trying to take the politically correct side rather than take the right side. xxx

Seriously, these people sound like jerks.

How nice for this girl to justify anti-Semitism and defend those who were engaged in it, while being comfortable disrespecting your faith. Secular whateverism blows my mind. Stories like this remind me to seek Christians and avoid the wasteland as much as I can.

 

[jeanannemarie]

St. Francis de Sales has very good advice on friendships and daily living in his book called “Introduction to a Devout Life.” You really don’t have to agonize over some of these friendships if you take to heart the advice of this beloved saint. The main point of the book is to teach us all how to be holy in our daily lives. What he wrote as a spiritual advisor centuries ago still works for today. I have found his advice quite helpful.

 

[Joy2day]

Hi, it seems you are on your own in this situation unfortunately. It appears that there are more of ‘them’ (those displaying anti-christian living standards) and only one of you (the honest catholic). It would be different if it were the reverse, and there were more people like you and only one of ‘them’ etc in the situation. They are who they are and they won’t change (at least in the short term), and possibly don’t appreciate your efforts to correct their behaviour, even though you are doing this with the best of intentions. Possibly they feel encouraged to demonstrate their anti-christian living standards in your house and in front of you, as a reaction to your open disapproval of their ways, or maybe because they feel they have the ‘majority rule’ in the group. Unfortunately you do not seem to have a choice; to sit by and say nothing about such behaviour, but in so doing, you appear to them as ‘the old nark’, the ‘bible basher’ the ‘judgemental one’ & then they’ll say you’re a hypocrite etc. In all things, you need to assess, whether the situation is bringing you closer to God, or pushing you further away from Him. This will give you your answer as to what to do. If you feel that you are likely to succumb to their way of life down the track if you continue to hang out with them, then cease to do so, or at least reduce the occasions markedly. In all likelihood, you are probably the only catholic person they know, and they are coming from a background of disrespect towards the Church, and do probably behave much worse when you are not around.