Should I respond to my brother-in-law?

[TheresaLS]

My husband’s brother has told me that I will not be part of God’s kingdom because of my Catholicism. I spent my last hour of perpetual adoration asking God’s wisdom as to how to answer this individual. He “assumes” that I will be in hell for eternity if I follow my faith. I feel at peace but I am wondering if I should respond to his ignorance. I feel that God is asking me to respond…and defend what I believe but I do not want to seem prideful…

Any advise??? This is not the first time that we have agreed to disagree but he has taken it to a new level this time.

 

[stbruno]

scborromeo.org/ccc/p123a9p1.htm

If your bro-in-law needs to hear how the Catholic faith is justified in the bible…you can easily use this link from our Catholic catechism…the numbers in small format list at the end of the article where it is found in the bible.

This section of the Catechism details the Profession of our faith…we believe in the Catholic church…
And before you have this discussion with your brother, say a prayer to the Holy Spirit to put the right words in your mouth. and then take a deep breath. You will be surprised how calm and how wonderful your response will be…with the help of our Holy Spirit.

 

[EasterJoy]

Let us say that he keeps bringing the subject up, badgering you:

You might point out that his badgering is not Biblical, either. Brothers are to be corrected in private, then with witnesses, then before the church, and then be done with it. As for non-believers, if they won’t hear you, you leave them be until they come around on their own. If you have to find him the passage where the Lord instructed the 72 to shake the dust from their feet if a town wouldn’t hear them, rather than hanging around badgering the people into compliance to the faith, then do that. He won’t find a Biblical example of an early Christian pestering people is such a manner as he is doing.

If you are not being badgered, then steer clear of the subject, unless you honestly don’t think he knows that the Church teaches that the grace of his salvation pours into him through Her alone, whether he knows it or not…for we do still teach that there is no salvation outside the Church, even though we are willing to admit that the Holy Spirit will blow where He wills and may use the graces poured upon us as He chooses. If you do not think he knows, you may sit down with him and say, “Jack, I’ve been listening to your preaching to me, and I’ve been convicted…of not preaching the truth to you. So let me tell you about the Catholic Church.”

Whatever the case, if you keep getting his preaching after that, you might tell him that you will pray ardently that he will be given the wisdom in this life to be docile to the Holy Spirit in all things, and eternal life in the next, and ask that he do the same for you. Tell him he may feel safe that he has done his part to warn you of the danger he thinks you are putting yourself in, that you hope you have done the same for him, as he is conscience-bound to join the Catholic Church once he sees the truth of it, and so it is time that you both leave the subject alone.

Then do it. When he brings the subject up, just say, “We’ve been through this. You’re in my prayers, Jack. I trust I’m still in yours. If so, you’ve done your part. Let’s just shake the dust of each other’s towns off of our feet and just have some peace.” Then tune him out until the subject changes. Act as if he is not even talking to you.

Repeat, repeat, repeat.

 

[CWBetts]

My husband’s brother has told me that I will not be part of God’s kingdom because of my Catholicism. I spent my last hour of perpetual adoration asking God’s wisdom as to how to answer this individual. He “assumes” that I will be in hell for eternity if I follow my faith. I feel at peace but I am wondering if I should respond to his ignorance. I feel that God is asking me to respond…and defend what I believe but I do not want to seem prideful…

Any advise??? This is not the first time that we have agreed to disagree but he has taken it to a new level this time.

I feel for you! My brother’s wife has also informed me that Catholics are not Christian! She gets very angry when I give her reasoned responses for my faith. The best thing that we can do is pray, pray, pray. Some of the hardest people to witness to are our own families, partly because they know our faults. My brother has even told her that I go through “phases”, and this one will pass in time! As for defending your faith, I would tell him why you are Catholic, without saying what is wrong with his particular “brand” of Protestantism. There are many good sources out there that you can use as a sort of “blueprint” for your talk. And when you explain the main reasons why you are Catholic, stick to the main points, and use Scripture to back your position up (after all, I doubt that he would accept the writings of St. Ignatius of Antioch or St. Cyril of Jerusalem anyways). You can send me a private message if you want. Like I said before, I know precisely what you are going through!

 

[NHInsider]

Whatever the case, if you keep getting his preaching after that, you might tell him that you will pray ardently that he will be given the wisdom in this life to be docile to the Holy Spirit in all things, and eternal life in the next, and ask that he do the same for you. Tell him he may feel safe that he has done his part to warn you of the danger he thinks you are putting yourself in, that you hope you have done the same for him, as he is conscience-bound to join the Catholic Church once he sees the truth of it, and so it is time that you both leave the subject alone.

Then do it. When he brings the subject up, just say, “We’ve been through this. You’re in my prayers, Jack. I trust I’m still in yours. If so, you’ve done your part. Let’s just shake the dust of each other’s towns off of our feet and just have some peace.” Then tune him out until the subject changes. Act as if he is not even talking to you.

Repeat, repeat, repeat.

I think this is the best option. Ask him to agree with you that each will pray for the other, that the Lord will reveal His will. How can he refuse to pray for you? And who knows where the Lord will lead, if your b-i-l is truly praying?

I would also ask him how he would feel about a book exchange. I’d ask him to read Alan Schreck’s Catholic and Christian. Whatever he asks you to read, read it with a highlighter and a pencil, and choose to use it as a study-guide, focusing on each point and learning how/why it is consistent with the Faith or not - so that you can answer whatever questions he has.

If he refuses to learn why you believe your faith is true, then your answer to him is just a simple “thanks for your concern. I’m still praying for you.”

 

[Mark77]

**Tell him what Jesus tells him in Sacred Scripture;
**
"Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:" (Lk 6:37 KJV)

Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, Ora Pro Nobis Peccatoribus!

mark

 

[PJM]

=TheresaLS;5635983]My husband’s brother has told me that I will not be part of God’s kingdom because of my Catholicism. I spent my last hour of perpetual adoration asking God’s wisdom as to how to answer this individual. He “assumes” that I will be in hell for eternity if I follow my faith. I feel at peace but I am wondering if I should respond to his ignorance. I feel that God is asking me to respond…and defend what I believe but I do not want to seem prideful…

Any advise??? This is not the first time that we have agreed to disagree but he has taken it to a new level this time.

***I too think you should respond. However I issue a discussion advisory.

If you cannot agree on a “common platform” from which to launch your defense, it would be better, simply not to respond and just pray for him.

You’ll need to agree on using a bible with the following qualifiers.

It must be Catholic because the Bible came to be through the CC, the entire NT is writeen by Apostles that we call today “Catholic” and the Catholic Bible was the only Bible in common existence until about 1,650 when the KJV was published.

Sacred Tradition of the CC and early Fathers is valid evidence of our beliefs and practices.

Third: Logic and commonsense Do have a place in the discussion.

For example: Mary is the Mother of Jesus [Lk.1:26-35] and Jesus is God [Lk. 1:35**

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If you can’t agree on this platform it will be difficult, maybe impossible to build your case.***

But I’m curious and would love to know on what authority such a redicilious idea eminates?

Love and prayers, In all things charity. Please don’t quote to him my personal question:thumbsup:**

 

[Lancer]

Defend your faith…YES INDEED…by all means.

With my secular/humanist/relativist…as well as Protestant and fallen away Catholic family members…relatives and close friends…and especially “in-laws”…I cut them no slack…if…I hear one falsehood about the Catholic faith…its dogma/doctrine…its teachings and disciplines/practices (whether its said in innocent ignorance or in malicious and disparaging words/tones…it makes no difference to me)…too many have died for this Catholic faith…the least I can do is defend it as best the Holy Spirit guides/helps me…even if I “lose”…I feel like a winner for trying…and sleep like a baby…because in the beginning…and…in the end…all of it…is always in God’s Divine Providence!

My only serious caution to you would be for you to read Numbers 20: 1-13…and be aware that this person’s soul is always very sacred to the Lord (I know you know this…but make it a conscious thing in your mind in your discussions)…Moses forgot this point…and it cost him dearly…the opportunity to lead the Israelites into the Promised Land…a very stiff and hard penalty after he had done so much of what the Lord called him to do…so he must have really “sinned grievously” against the Lord. I cringe to think of how many times I have failed to keep this point in my mind…“my discussions”…O’ Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, Have Mercy on me a sinner!

Pax Christi

 

[bpbasilphx]

It must be Catholic because the Bible came to be through the CC, the entire NT is writeen by Apostles that we call today “Catholic” and the Catholic Bible was the only Bible in common existence until about 1,650 when the KJV was published.

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**Not quite true.

The KJV was just one more English Protestant version when it was published in 1611, though it was preceded by the Douay-Rheims version.**

 

[TheDoctor]

Is your BIL saying this becasue he really cares for you and wants you to go to Heaven or because he knows deep in his heart that he is wrong and is trying to convince himself he must be right?

If you feel God calling you to respond, you can respond to correct his mis-understandings. If he wants to truly discuss them and learn what we believe, PJM and other’s have given some good advice on how to move forward. Don’t ignore the wealth of information on Catholic Answers. Sometimes giving someone something to read and asking them to look it up and “prove me wrong” is a great way to start.

If he does not really want to understand but only wants to attack the faith, you can tell him in charity that when he is ready to discuss it you will be ready, but not before.

I also second the idea to pray for him.

P.S. - if I was a smart-donkey, I would tell him : “The next time I am in Adoration kneeling before Jesus physically present in the Eucharist, I will take out my rosary beads blessed by my priest and using my favorite passage from the Book of Wisdom I will pray to Mary and the Saints that that they may ask God on my behalf to open your ears to hear the true faith begun by Jesus and passed down through Peter…”

 

[TLM08]

My husband’s brother has told me that I will not be part of God’s kingdom because of my Catholicism. I spent my last hour of perpetual adoration asking God’s wisdom as to how to answer this individual. He “assumes” that I will be in hell for eternity if I follow my faith. I feel at peace but I am wondering if I should respond to his ignorance. I feel that God is asking me to respond…and defend what I believe but I do not want to seem prideful…

Any advise??? This is not the first time that we have agreed to disagree but he has taken it to a new level this time.

He is worried that Catholics are ignoring Paul’s warning to the Galatians (chapter 1) by following a gospel other than what Paul preached. With that, there may be some cause for concern, but the best way to answer him is to hit him with Romans 10:9-13

"…That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the Scripture says, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.” For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, For, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

Catholic do believe in Jesus Christ and the sacrifice he made on the cross to redeem mankind.
Furthermore, I do not believe Jesus would condemn any of his children whom he love simply because they got their theology wrong.

 

[NHInsider]

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You’ll need to agree on using a bible with the following qualifiers.

It must be Catholic because the Bible came to be through the CC, the entire NT is writeen by Apostles that we call today “Catholic” and the Catholic Bible was the only Bible in common existence until about 1,650 when the KJV was published.

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I wouldn’t waste any effort on this particular point - the New Testament is the same in the Protestant and Catholic Bibles. Insisting on using a Catholic Bible for discussion will just give him “evidence” of Catholic “error” - and gain you nothing.

 

[BenjaminLumen]

My husband’s brother has told me that I will not be part of God’s kingdom because of my Catholicism. I spent my last hour of perpetual adoration asking God’s wisdom as to how to answer this individual. He “assumes” that I will be in hell for eternity if I follow my faith. I feel at peace but I am wondering if I should respond to his ignorance. I feel that God is asking me to respond…and defend what I believe but I do not want to seem prideful…

Any advise??? This is not the first time that we have agreed to disagree but he has taken it to a new level this time.

Anyone who is not Catholic cannot see into the Church, they see the walls, they see the Clergy, they see the Cross’s, but the nothing spiritually from it, feeling the Spirit from the Church, nothing in a manner that tells them it came from the Catholic Church.
So all arguments are doomed to fail, as the Church reveals nothing of itself to non-Catholics, this Church Is all about the People that are inside it. The Doctrine is all for the people inside it. It is the single Biggest Entity hidden in broad daylight on the face of the planet. It has a vail over it, and reveals nothing about itself to Non-Catholics.

You can be at Adoration and have a Non-Catholic Right next to you, you will feel the Spirit pouring out of the Eucharist, and that non-catholic will have no incling… There is a vail over the Church. as near as I can tell, that is what My experience being a convert was/is.
When I was a little tike, I could think about a Protestant Church, and the Sense of that particular Church would reveal itself to me , even if I wasn’t even in it, but not the Catholic Church, I had to become Catholic to get anything from it…

So arguments are pointless, he will have to join the Church then quit if that is what he is about.

Benjamin.