E
esieffe
Guest
I am a Catholic convert. My Dad is a Retired Episcopal priest. I have been taking care of a of my best friend / relative through five years of alcoholism. Forgive me but it is late, and I feel kind of emotional right now, just bear with me.
Since I was a kid, I put money in the collection plate. All my life I have donated money, time, sweat and my heart in helping others. I am the only male with two sisters. My sisters have used my mother as a bank in years gone by to the tune of thousands of dollars. I have ruined my life taking care of this alcoholic relative. I feel like I am a good and honorable person.
Recently, we were told by the bank we had 30 days to pay up on the mortgage, or the house would go up for sale on the courthouse steps March 2. I have always been close to my parents. I respect my Dad for many reasons, not just because he is my father, but he is a priest and a published intellectual / theologian, at least I thought he was.
For the first time I alluded to the fact that I was desperate and some money might help me out a great deal in this situation. I have never asked them for money. My Dad got mad at me during this humble and humiliating phone call I made and handed my mother the phone, saying in the background, “dont give him any money.”
I told Mom just to keep her money. It seems now he is “allowing” her to give me some money from her social security check, it came today in the mail. He said to me, “you allowed this to happen, you could have thrown him out at any time. “Yes” I said, but he is an alcoholic, therefore mentally ill, and at this point, tough love could kill him. Would you throw one of us out under these circumstances? I very well might” said my father the Priest.
This check will help. It is only 500.00 so it won’t save the mortgage, but it would by gas for the car or serve as a deposit somewhere, but I am on the edge of simply feeding it to the shredder. I am a male and he holds me to a higher standard than my sisters. He always has. I used to have more wealth than he has, but I always gave. I gave too much end the end like a fool and his money. He never has chucked out a dime to charity . Now due to pressure from my Mom he is condescending to throw a little of her money in my direction. Since my bad judgement about being caring for others has brought me to financial ruin, he is treating me like someone would treat their son if he were a drug addict. I am NOT the bad guy here. I am the guy who goes out and helps people.
I would almost rather live under a bridge then to cash this check. But, it is cold outside. What would you do? I am very angry and hurt. Again I have never asked them for anything, and I only hinted around it this time. Not only do I feel like shredding this check, but I feel like telling him to just cut me out altogether. He is supposed to be a priest, and yet he is a self absorbed, sanctimonious, agnostic. Whats up with that?
Pope Francis hit it right on the head with the poor and charity. I am so mad, I cannot think clearly. But am I committing the sin of pride? Or do I just have an stuck up egomaniac father? Please share your thoughts.
PS: I read over this, and it sounds like I am making myself to be a saint. So I did an edit. I am not a saint. Despite the fact that I am charitable, when I was young, I could have earned free passage at the lust suite in hell. I will be lucky to make it to heaven. I have much to make up for.
Since I was a kid, I put money in the collection plate. All my life I have donated money, time, sweat and my heart in helping others. I am the only male with two sisters. My sisters have used my mother as a bank in years gone by to the tune of thousands of dollars. I have ruined my life taking care of this alcoholic relative. I feel like I am a good and honorable person.
Recently, we were told by the bank we had 30 days to pay up on the mortgage, or the house would go up for sale on the courthouse steps March 2. I have always been close to my parents. I respect my Dad for many reasons, not just because he is my father, but he is a priest and a published intellectual / theologian, at least I thought he was.
For the first time I alluded to the fact that I was desperate and some money might help me out a great deal in this situation. I have never asked them for money. My Dad got mad at me during this humble and humiliating phone call I made and handed my mother the phone, saying in the background, “dont give him any money.”
I told Mom just to keep her money. It seems now he is “allowing” her to give me some money from her social security check, it came today in the mail. He said to me, “you allowed this to happen, you could have thrown him out at any time. “Yes” I said, but he is an alcoholic, therefore mentally ill, and at this point, tough love could kill him. Would you throw one of us out under these circumstances? I very well might” said my father the Priest.
This check will help. It is only 500.00 so it won’t save the mortgage, but it would by gas for the car or serve as a deposit somewhere, but I am on the edge of simply feeding it to the shredder. I am a male and he holds me to a higher standard than my sisters. He always has. I used to have more wealth than he has, but I always gave. I gave too much end the end like a fool and his money. He never has chucked out a dime to charity . Now due to pressure from my Mom he is condescending to throw a little of her money in my direction. Since my bad judgement about being caring for others has brought me to financial ruin, he is treating me like someone would treat their son if he were a drug addict. I am NOT the bad guy here. I am the guy who goes out and helps people.
I would almost rather live under a bridge then to cash this check. But, it is cold outside. What would you do? I am very angry and hurt. Again I have never asked them for anything, and I only hinted around it this time. Not only do I feel like shredding this check, but I feel like telling him to just cut me out altogether. He is supposed to be a priest, and yet he is a self absorbed, sanctimonious, agnostic. Whats up with that?
Pope Francis hit it right on the head with the poor and charity. I am so mad, I cannot think clearly. But am I committing the sin of pride? Or do I just have an stuck up egomaniac father? Please share your thoughts.
PS: I read over this, and it sounds like I am making myself to be a saint. So I did an edit. I am not a saint. Despite the fact that I am charitable, when I was young, I could have earned free passage at the lust suite in hell. I will be lucky to make it to heaven. I have much to make up for.