Should I stay or should I go?

[TommyWommy]

I realize that I need to make a shift in this part of my life, but I’m not quite sure which angle to approach it from. Here’s my situation: I play the drums in a rock band. Been doing it for about 4 years. There are four of us, and I’m the only Catholic. One guy is Protestant, and we are all good friends. Now, playing in a rock band isn’t necessarily wong. It’s just that some of the songs we play include bad language and/or subject matter that I personally am not comfortable with. My dilemma is: do I quit the band because some of the music is bad, or do I stay and try to be a good influence on the other guys? I’m trying to approach them with mercy and love rather than coming across as a pious, judgemental “goody-goody,” if you know what I mean.

Recently, I’ve grown spiritually, and feel closer to God and the Church. So, I’m even more sensitive to some of the music. At the same time, I want to be “salt” and “light” to the other guys, and staying with them feels like the best way to do that. I know this is my decision. However, I do appreciate the (name removed by moderator)ut from other brothers and sisters. What do you all think about this?

 

[InLight247]

To be the light and salt does not mean to conform to the world.
The light and salt is in the world but not of the world.
You can express your value and concern about the inappropriate music to your band members as a Catholic Christian. If you cannot convince them to stopping playing such music, and if you play such music along with them anyway, what does your action say?

Action speaks louder than voice. If you help them to play the music, your action is saying you are compromising your value even your words said differently. In this case, do you think your light and salt is getting anywhere with them?

 

[TommyWommy]

To be the light and salt does not mean to conform to the world.
The light and salt is in the world but not of the world.
You can express your value and concern about the inappropriate music to your band members as a Catholic Christian. If you cannot convince them to stopping playing such music, and if you play such music along with them anyway, what does your action say?

Action speaks louder than voice. If you help them to play the music, your action is saying you are compromising your value even your words said differently. In this case, do you think your light and salt is getting anywhere with them?

Thank you for this good feedback. Most of your thoughts echo my own. It does help to hear someone else validate it, though. It is hard, maybe impossible, to be “in” the band but not “of” the band. I guess I’m disappointed. I’m disappointed that I haven’t taken more of a stand with them. And I’m disappointed that I really can’t tell if I’ve been a good influence on them so far. I’m also disappointed that this even has to be an issue because they really are great guys and I enjoy playing with them. I’m going to have to be honest with them and tell them how I feel. Otherwise, I’m not being true to them or my Lord.

 

[InLight247]

It is not easy. But don’t be disappointed, do your best.

I think to express your concern and articulate your value is good.
Not to argue with them but sincerely communicate with them. Tell them how much you cherish their friendship, then bring up your concern. Maybe you can talk to the Protestant member first since he is a Christian. If you can get him agree with your value, then you two can speak together to the rest?

And I suggest you pray for them first before talking about it.

 

[TommyWommy]

Thank you for your very good encouragement.