Should i stop a Catholic wedding

[ranger20002]

I am confused and do not know what to do. I was in the middle of a divorce. A friend and i started talking. Well it started into a relationship. But she was cheating on her boyfriend of 4 years. The soon to be bride and groom are both catholic and she was helping me to get started becoming a catholic and starting the annulment process . We was together from October to May. We was sexual active. She is getting married the end of July in a Catholic Church. I feel like i need to tell the boyfriend about what happened between us. But i do not know what i should do. But i feel like i need to do something

 

[Rascalking]

Let the past be the past my friend. For all you know she is living a celibate lifestyle now, maybe she went to confesson and is on the right side now.

If you still have feelings for this girl, then move on as well.

Easier said than done, I know.

 

[adrift]

I am confused and do not know what to do. I was in the middle of a divorce. A friend and i started talking. Well it started into a relationship. But she was cheating on her boyfriend of 4 years. The soon to be bride and groom are both catholic and she was helping me to get started becoming a catholic and starting the annulment process . We was together from October to May. We was sexual active. She is getting married the end of July in a Catholic Church. I feel like i need to tell the boyfriend about what happened between us. But i do not know what i should do. But i feel like i need to do something

I do not understand why you feel compelled to reveal the sin of another??? Do nothing and go to confession.

 

[LilyM]

As has been said, your first concern is for your own soul. Do go to confession if you haven’t already.

If you absolutely feel that you must do something - talk to her about it, and under no circumstances to him. It’s not for you to put this burden on him. And for all you know she’s told him already and is ready to move on with her life and be faithful.

 

[kage_ar]

Would you want someone running around town telling people about your sins? Go to confession, get right with God and go on about your life. Pray for this couple.

 

[vocatio]

I do not understand why you feel compelled to reveal the sin of another??? Do nothing and go to confession.

Sounds like he cares about her and she’s about to make a really bad mistake.

 

[Norseman82]

I do not understand why you feel compelled to reveal the sin of another???

Maybe deep down he really feels terrible and is looking for redemption in the form of the other guy kicking his butt big time.

 

[flyingfish]

I am confused and do not know what to do. I was in the middle of a divorce. A friend and i started talking. Well it started into a relationship. But she was cheating on her boyfriend of 4 years. The soon to be bride and groom are both catholic and she was helping me to get started becoming a catholic and starting the annulment process . We was together from October to May. We was sexual active. She is getting married the end of July in a Catholic Church. I feel like i need to tell the boyfriend about what happened between us. But i do not know what i should do. But i feel like i need to do something

Are you sure your motivation is pure or are you still into that girl and want her not to get married so you get a shot? If that’s so, you should move on.

 

[vocatio]

Are you sure your motivation is pure or are you still into that girl and want her not to get married so you get a shot? If that’s so, you should move on.

I disagree. There are already so many annulments. This one is waiting to happen. Talk to your pastor about it. I’d try to talk to the pastor where the marriage is about to take place. Do it discretely and privately, but lay the burden on the pastor and then wipe you hands clean of it.

 

[jwashu]

I disagree. There are already so many annulments. This one is waiting to happen. Talk to your pastor about it. I’d try to talk to the pastor where the marriage is about to take place. Do it discretely and privately, but lay the burden on the pastor and then wipe you hands clean of it.

Talk to your priest and to her… if she won’t come clean to her future husband I would definitely tell him.

We have posters here who are ready to tell a wife to leave a husband because he glanced at porn yet don’t want a future husband to know his wife has been physically cheating on him?

I’m sorry… I would want to know because I would stop the wedding. If they are Catholic then they have been going to the prep classes and obviously she has been lying to her future spouse and the priest.

On another thread I said not 2 minutes ago that if a guy couldn’t come clean the girl needed to move on to something better. Same here, if she can’t tell her finance that she has been not just seeing someone else but physically having sex with them then he deserves better… MUCH better than that.

Joe

 

[Norseman82]

We have posters here who are ready to tell a wife to leave a husband because he glanced at porn yet don’t want a future husband to know his wife has been physically cheating on him?

I’m sorry… I would want to know because I would stop the wedding. If they are Catholic then they have been going to the prep classes and obviously she has been lying to her future spouse and the priest.

On another thread I said not 2 minutes ago that if a guy couldn’t come clean the girl needed to move on to something better. Same here, if she can’t tell her finance that she has been not just seeing someone else but physically having sex with them then he deserves better… MUCH better than that.

Joe

There is another concern that may factor in here - STDs.

 

[AdriannaJean]

I vote talking to the priest then her. See what the priest has to say, then talk to her (unless the priest tells you not to). Ask her if she’s told him (to make sure she doesn’t just lie and say she told him, I would just tell her that you are going to tell him to get it off your chest. If she hasn’t told him then she’ll immediately flip and ask you not to). Then if she’s already told him you just leave it alone, but if she hasn’t told him, give her a chance to be the one to tell him, but make sure she gets him to contact you after she tells him so that you know she actually did it.

Information like this can invalidate their marriage if she doesn’t know about it.

 

[adrift]

I vote talking to the priest then her. See what the priest has to say, then talk to her (unless the priest tells you not to). Ask her if she’s told him (to make sure she doesn’t just lie and say she told him, I would just tell her that you are going to tell him to get it off your chest. If she hasn’t told him then she’ll immediately flip and ask you not to). Then if she’s already told him you just leave it alone, but if she hasn’t told him, give her a chance to be the one to tell him, but make sure she gets him to contact you after she tells him so that you know she actually did it.

Information like this can invalidate their marriage if she doesn’t know about it.

How any of this could invalidate their marriage is beyond me. There is a sin of detraction. He should mind his own business which does not include revealing the sin of another that is a sin commonly called gossip. It is not his job to make sure that she does anything. It is NONE of his business.

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

The OP should not say anything.

He does not know many things about the scenario.

She could have already confessed to a priest. Fiance’ might already know and has forgiven her.

He should really keep this to himself.

 

[jwashu]

How any of this could invalidate their marriage is beyond me. There is a sin of detraction. He should mind his own business which does not include revealing the sin of another that is a sin commonly called gossip. It is not his job to make sure that she does anything. It is NONE of his business.

It’s not gossip, the OP is the one who did it… he needs to come clean as well.

 

[AdriannaJean]

How any of this could invalidate their marriage is beyond me. There is a sin of detraction. He should mind his own business which does not include revealing the sin of another that is a sin commonly called gossip. It is not his job to make sure that she does anything. It is NONE of his business.

To my knowledge, cheating BEFORE the marriage occurs without the knowledge and forgiveness of the spouse is grounds for annulment. It has something to do with full consent, something like if she doesn’t know all the information then she hasn’t consented to the marriage properly, therefore the marriage would be invalid.

But I could be wrong…