Should I strive to overcome homophobia?

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I will be honest, in admitting my homophobia. I am a person from a remote area, where homosexuals do not exist. When I was growing up, ‘F…’ was the name given to any dishonest, pretentious or morally deficient person. When I saw more of the world, all the homosexuals I met were also pretentious, malicious city-dwellers. Also, I hate all those homosexual TV shows, and the particular brand of witless, degenerate humor…

Consequently, I feel antipathy towards homosexuals. I like males and females to be properly defined. And I remember the words of Leviticus, of course.

I do not really consider myself homophobic- I am not afraid of them, I just don’t really like them and the culture they are associated with. Should I try to change, and, if so, why, and how?
 
I will start by a quote from every Christian priest or pastor “Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin”

Acting out any homosexual act is a sin… Our society has done a lot in the past 40 years to indoctrinate us to believe that it is just an alternate and acceptable life style… It is an alternate, but perverted life style…

As for the TV shows and movies; they are there to promote the homosexual agenda… Don’t watch them.

Your heart is in the right place… Don’t be fooled into thinking homosexual behavior is good; because it is sinful.
 
I will be honest, in admitting my homophobia. I am a person from a remote area, where homosexuals do not exist. When I was growing up, ‘F…’ was the name given to any dishonest, pretentious or morally deficient person. When I saw more of the world, all the homosexuals I met were also pretentious, malicious city-dwellers. Also, I hate all those homosexual TV shows, and the particular brand of witless, degenerate humor…

Consequently, I feel antipathy towards homosexuals. I like males and females to be properly defined. And I remember the words of Leviticus, of course.

I do not really consider myself homophobic- I am not afraid of them, I just don’t really like them and the culture they are associated with. Should I try to change, and, if so, why, and how?
 
woops, live in an area where homosexuals do not exist ? Top of Mt. Everest or say bottom of the ocean ? Gays and lesbians do exist… in some places and circumstances the need to HIDE from bigotry, this causes them/us to vanish.
 
I will be honest, in admitting my homophobia. I am a person from a remote area, where homosexuals do not exist. When I was growing up, ‘F…’ was the name given to any dishonest, pretentious or morally deficient person. When I saw more of the world, all the homosexuals I met were also pretentious, malicious city-dwellers. Also, I hate all those homosexual TV shows, and the particular brand of witless, degenerate humor…

Consequently, I feel antipathy towards homosexuals. I like males and females to be properly defined. And I remember the words of Leviticus, of course.

I do not really consider myself homophobic- I am not afraid of them, I just don’t really like them and the culture they are associated with. Should I try to change, and, if so, why, and how?
Homosexuals exist everywhere, and if you are not homosexual you don’t need to worry about the words of Leviticus, but focus on the rest of Bible and treat everyone with dignity compassion and respect, which is what the catechism requires us to do. Not liking someone or basing your opinions and actions on the few homosexuals you have met is very dangerous territory. My advice is to speak to your priest about this.
 
You go running and screaming in fear when you see a homosexual?

‘Homophobia’ is not a real condition. The word has been invented as a club to beat us with.

“and the culture they are associated with” is perfectly fine. You can ‘like’ them as friends, too. No problem.
 
I am a person from a remote area, where homosexuals do not exist.
You may have thought homosexuals didn’t exist there. It’s highly unlikely. Which means that you have known homosexuals, and you were able to deal with them in a perfectly normal manner. Surprise!
 
A homosexual has saved my life twice.

The first time I was in high school and a man in the parking lot of a gas station attacked me and tried to shove me in his truck. My dear friend ran out of the store and fought the attacker off.

The second time I was at a very dark, scary point in my life and in desperate need of help. Every counselor at the clinic that I could afford was completely full and not taking new patients. But one therapist agreed to meet with me anyway and see what he could do. He ended up staying late for work at least one night a week for 6 months to treat me. I can say without a doubt that if I hadn’t gotten help that I wouldn’t be here today.

Despite how you may feel about their sex lives I would hope that you wouldn’t feel antipathy towards these two people. But that’s the problem with the way you feel, you are unable to them as people based on their sins. I doubt you have that issue with fornicators, or with any sins that you may be committing. It’s just this particular sin that’s the problem, that takes away their individuality in your mind. A sin that you’ve decided is worse than all others. That’s probably an attitude you should take to your priest.

I grew up in a small town too, and I can assure you that homosexuals exist. If you are trying to in some way justify your use of the other ‘f’ word, just don’t. It is a word that is used to strike fear in to the hearts of homosexuals and make them seem less than human.
 
In my honest opinion people who harbour intense hatred or antipathy towards homosexuals are the ones in need of therapy.

Actually, homophobia is a genuine pathological fear of and intense derision felt for people with same-sex attraction, who should rather receive our compassion and support because of this condition. I don’t think your homophobic, however you do seem to have an unfairly discriminatory attitude to homosexuals based upon the few that you have met. That’s like feeling antipathy towards every single Jew on earth because you met some whom you didn’t like or get along with.

People do not choose to experience sexual attraction to the same gender nor should they feel ashamed, disgusted or hateful of themselves for simply being the way nature made them. They do choose whether to act out those inclinations and are fully accountable if they do but so are heterosexuals who fornicate or commit other sexual sins. To discriminate against someone on the basis of their sexuality is just as inherently lacking in humanity as to discriminate against someone because of their race, sex or physical features and no less unacceptable.

Yes, one does have to find a way of overcoming homophobia or hatred for gays. It isn’t acceptable, Christian, moral or healthy nor will it make our world a better place in any way, shape or form.

Holy Mother Church teaches us:
“…the Congregation took note of the distinction commonly drawn in Catholicism between the homosexual orientation and individual homosexual actions…It is deplorable that homosexual persons have been and are the object of violent malice in speech or in action. Such treatment deserves condemnation from the Church’s pastors wherever it occurs. It reveals a kind of disregard for others which endangers the most fundamental principles of a healthy society. The intrinsic dignity of each person must always be respected in word, in action and in law…What is essential is that the fundamental liberty which characterizes the human person and gives him his dignity be recognized as belonging to the homosexual person as well…The characteristic concern and good will exhibited by many clergy and religious in their pastoral care for homosexual persons is admirable, and, we hope, will not diminish. Such devoted ministers should have the confidence that they are faithfully following the will of the Lord by encouraging the homosexual person and by affirming that person’s God-given dignity and worth…From this multi-faceted approach there are numerous advantages to be gained, not the least of which is the realization that a homosexual person, as every human being, deeply needs to be nourished at many different levels simultaneously. The human person, made in the image and likeness of God, can hardly be adequately described by a reductionist reference to his or her sexual orientation. Today, the Church provides a badly needed context for the care of the human person when she refuses to consider the person as a “heterosexual” or a “homosexual” and insists that every person has a fundamental Identity: the creature of God, and by grace, his child and heir to eternal life…”
***- CONGREGATION FOR THE DOCTRINE OF THE FAITH;
LETTER TO THE BISHOPS OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH ON THE PASTORAL CARE
OF HOMOSEXUAL PERSONS, 1986 ***
Homosexuality, as a sexual orientation, is accepted in Catholicism as beyond the control of homosexual people themselves. Homosexuality is not something that we consider, as do many Christian denominations apart from say ultra-liberal Protestants, to be “sinful” or even in need of change in the individual. We differentiate homosexuality (which isn’t sinful in itself) from homosexual acts which are sinful choices.

Thus the Catechism of the Catholic Church states:
2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible…They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. ……
The commentary on this part by Fr James Martin reads:
“…the Catechism reminds Catholics that being a homosexual in many modern cultures is still fraught with difficulty. It can be a painful struggle for a gay person to accept himself or herself as someone loved by God. As most of us know, bullying, beatings and, in rare cases, murder, is often part of being a gay or lesbian teen. As a result, the rate of suicides among gay teens is significantly higher than it is for straight teens in our country. In other parts of the world the situation is more dire: in some countries homosexual activity can bring imprisonment or execution…”
There are Gay Catholics out there who are proud homosexuals but are not sexually active and are faithful to Catholic teaching: lifeteen.com/gay-catholic-and-doing-fine/

He calls himself, “Gay, Catholic and doing fine” but not sexually active.

He is a couragrous and devout Catholic gay man in his late twenties.

Why on earth, would you harbour antipathy towards such a beautiful person created in the image of God because of his sexuality? He is your brother!
 
A homosexual has saved my life twice.

The first time I was in high school and a man in the parking lot of a gas station attacked me and tried to shove me in his truck. My dear friend ran out of the store and fought the attacker off.

The second time I was at a very dark, scary point in my life and in desperate need of help. Every counselor at the clinic that I could afford was completely full and not taking new patients. But one therapist agreed to meet with me anyway and see what he could do. He ended up staying late for work at least one night a week for 6 months to treat me. I can say without a doubt that if I hadn’t gotten help that I wouldn’t be here today.

Despite how you may feel about their sex lives I would hope that you wouldn’t feel antipathy towards these two people. But that’s the problem with the way you feel, you are unable to them as people based on their sins. I doubt you have that issue with fornicators, or with any sins that you may be committing. It’s just this particular sin that’s the problem, that takes away their individuality in your mind. A sin that you’ve decided is worse than all others. That’s probably an attitude you should take to your priest.

I grew up in a small town too, and I can assure you that homosexuals exist. If you are trying to in some way justify your use of the other ‘f’ word, just don’t. It is a word that is used to strike fear in to the hearts of homosexuals and make them seem less than human.
I think this is a fantastic post. Bottom line, OP is that you should strive to treat all individuals in a Christ-like manner. Like BEL says, it is one thing to not agree with their romantic relationships, however, it is another thing entirely to dislike them for being who they are, for everyone is a child of God.
 
Well, I am a woman in a heterosexual sacramental marriage and I love my husband dearly, so dearly I moved hundreds of miles away from all my friends and family for him. I am lucky if I get to visit family once a year due to how expensive it is to fly out to them. I also have sexual attraction to both genders. Most people that know me have no idea. I didn’t choose to be attracted to the same gender and I don’t want it. I do my best to be a loving wife and a good Catholic woman. Would you really dislike or even hate me for this small part of myself I don’t want to have and cannot seem to get rid of?

Also some of the kindest, most loving people I have ever met are homosexual, bisexual, or non-heterosexual. They have been there for me in my hour of need when no heterosexual friend (and this includes my supposedly “good Christian” friends) I had would help me. I grew up in an area with a very large LGBT community and their population is as diverse as heterosexuals. I have met some heterosexuals that cheat on their husbands or wives, who lie, cheat, steal, betray, abuse, belittle others, and every type of evil you could think of. I don’t let that make me hate all heterosexuals. The thing is ALL people are sinners, all people have certain sins they struggle with. It isn’t fair to judge them solely on one sin that they happen to struggle with. Plus, you can’t expect non-Christians to live like Christians.

Having hatred or great dislike for one group of people just because of who they are sexually attracted to is not a very Christian attitude. Jesus loved sinners. He associated with prostitutes and tax collectors. Shouldn’t we be mimicking Jesus? Shouldn’t we love sinners as he did? (even those in sexual sin!) We are sinners and we are no better than other sinners. Our good deeds are like dirty rags before the Lord. Who are we to hate other sinners? We can hate their sin, but not the person who was created in the image of God.
 
Hate the sin, love the sinner.

I have a friend who is homosexual. He doesn’t know that I know. I suspect he’s worried about my reaction, which will be nothing. We barely ever see each other, but we’ve been friends since we were little kids. I really wish he’d open up about it.
 
Should I try to change, and, if so, why, and how?
I think a lot of people feel this way. It takes courage to admit it, since society considers it one of the worst sins.

I think you already know that you should try to love all your “neighbors.” So yes, try to change the antipathy you feel towards homosexual people.

However, I will not go so far as to say you shouldn’t hate the culture that surrounds and supports the actively homosexual lifestyle. You should. Just like you should hate the culture that mires so many people in a materialist worldview or in wage slavery. We should not accept any of these things as normal or good.

That doesn’t mean we have to hate gays, athiest professors, or banksters, etc.

Its easy to oppose error with a competing error. It’s hard to oppose evil with Truth and charity but that’s what we have to do every day. Thankfully we have the Catholic Church for our guide.

I’ll say an Ave for you, please say one for me.

-Rich
 
I will be honest, in admitting my homophobia. I am a person from a remote area, where homosexuals do not exist. When I was growing up, ‘F…’ was the name given to any dishonest, pretentious or morally deficient person. When I saw more of the world, all the homosexuals I met were also pretentious, malicious city-dwellers. Also, I hate all those homosexual TV shows, and the particular brand of witless, degenerate humor…

Consequently, I feel antipathy towards homosexuals. I like males and females to be properly defined. And I remember the words of Leviticus, of course.

I do not really consider myself homophobic- I am not afraid of them, I just don’t really like them and the culture they are associated with. Should I try to change, and, if so, why, and how?
First, the word homophobia is not a clinically recognized term. In other words, no doctor recognizes it as real since it does not describe a valid disorder.

I’ve worked with homosexual persons and the only way I knew they were homosexual was because I was told, otherwise, it was not discussed. Not knowing your particular circumstances, I’ve only rarely been exposed to homosexuals who wear ladies’ high heels or dresses or makeup.

The Christian approach, as defined by the Church, is to respect everyone. However, this sort of behavior, once it is made public, is a scandal. Men should not be dressing like women and declaring they are gay, as in gay pride parades or as ‘drag queens’ on TV.

Unlike black people or Oriental people, the average homosexual person cannot be identified unless wearing something as described above.

You use the word malicious which describes behavior that straight people engage in as well. Were the homosexual people you saw pretentious in a mean way? Or were they just acting out what you think is over the top gay behavior?

What is happening on TV is terrible. There is nothing normal about “Hey everybody. Look, we’re just like you except for the gay sex part or the women’s clothes.” And the whole gay marriage issue goes against natural biology.

We are called to love people but we shouldn’t encourage them in their sin by enabling it or being indifferent to it. God has a better way for all of us to live - as chaste single people, whether gay or straight. Each person decides to engage in sex, without being told by the State or Church. We’ve got porn addicts here, and masturbation addicts. But you’re right, there is a gay lifestyle based mostly on open sexual expression, sometimes in public.

The Church and God will not force you to follow Church teaching but it is the better way - as difficult as that may be for some of us. It appears some crosses are heavier for some than others and for some, certain bad behaviors are easily avoided, but for others, the same behaviors are not. Be vigilant. The devil, a real being, is always looking to trip us up.

Peace,
Ed
 
In the case expriences of traumatic rape or gang-rape torture and incest itself I don’t believe homophobia is unrealistic or for that matter androphobia in itself. The latter perhaps least understood with homophobia itself always front and center in a bias way rather than seeing it alternatively as one disturbed psychologically by androphobia. Both I believe are misunderstood in societal bias.

Admittingly; I have an embarrassing problem with androphobia particularly when it comes to invasive medical procedures that I can’t shake off. My traumatic past is a big factor.
 
A homosexual has saved my life twice.
This is a bit misleading. These two individuals did not save your life “because” they were homosexual, they saved your life because they had other qualities that they could just as well have had if they were not.

If you are trying to sell “homosexuality” because of what it is, then please be consistent. Homosexuals do not have a monopoly on kindness, generosity or care. There are many who could care less about others and indulge themselves freely and to the exclusion of others, but that, too, is beside the point.

I know of an individual who completely abandoned his wife of 20 years with three adolescent children because he suddenly “decided” he was gay. I have also known “straight” individuals of both genders who have done similar things.

If I am trying to sell a “brand” of vehicle I cannot focus on features that the brand shares with all other minimally decent brands. Buy this ******* because it has tires, doors, seats and windows. The only reason for considering these kinds of features as selling points is if the other brands don’t have them.

But you are not claiming that an individual with a heterosexual “orientation” would not have or could not have done the same, just because they are heterosexual, are you?

I am not trying to be contentious, just trying to be clear about what counts as real evidence. If stealing is a wrong course of action. I cannot justify stealing by claiming some thieves give to charity, are volunteer fire fighters or are good with children.
 
This is a bit misleading. These two individuals did not save your life “because” they were homosexual, they saved your life because they had other qualities that they could just as well have had if they were not.

If you are trying to sell “homosexuality” because of what it is, then please be consistent. Homosexuals do not have a monopoly on kindness, generosity or care. There are many who could care less about others and indulge themselves freely and to the exclusion of others, but that, too, is beside the point.

I know of an individual who completely abandoned his wife of 20 years with three adolescent children because he suddenly “decided” he was gay. I have also known “straight” individuals of both genders who have done similar things.

If I am trying to sell a “brand” of vehicle I cannot focus on features that the brand shares with all other minimally decent brands. Buy this ******* because it has tires, doors, seats and windows. The only reason for considering these kinds of features as selling points is if the other brands don’t have them.

But you are not claiming that an individual with a heterosexual “orientation” would not have or could not have done the same, just because they are heterosexual, are you?

I am not trying to be contentious, just trying to be clear about what counts as real evidence. If stealing is a wrong course of action. I cannot justify stealing by claiming some thieves give to charity, are volunteer fire fighters or are good with children.
You managed to completely miss and completely understand the point at the same time. No, I am not trying to “sell” homosexuality. Nor am I trying to say that a heterosexual wouldn’t have been able to do the same things. I really wish that you had read the rest of my post.

But what I am saying is that gay people are people first and foremost, and they don’t deserve the stereotyping, anger, or disgust that the OP seems to have for them. There are some very wonderful and kind gay people, and some very mean and malicious gay people, just like with the rest of humanity. Gay is not some sort of alien subset of the human race that is so completely different that they cannot be understood or relate to the rest of us in any meaningful way. Nor are their “sins” any worse than any one else’s mortal sins. And if you spend much time on these boards, you will see a lot of mortal sins.
 
But what I am saying is that gay people are people first and foremost, and they don’t deserve the stereotyping, anger, or disgust that the OP seems to have for them. There are some very wonderful and kind gay people, and some very mean and malicious gay people, just like with the rest of humanity. Gay is not some sort of alien subset of the human race that is so completely different that they cannot be understood or relate to the rest of us in any meaningful way. Nor are their “sins” any worse than any one else’s mortal sins. And if you spend much time on these boards, you will see a lot of mortal sins.
You are correct. As people “first,” these people do not deserve any anger or disgust for being people. However, that says nothing about their behaviour. So, my point is that in bringing up your point to begin with, you are the one actually missing “the point.”

He may and likely is, in fact, not claiming that these people deserve this kind of censure because they are people. That accidental fact has nothing to do with it. Neither does it argue against a claim that their behaviour may be justifiably regarded as wrong or illicit. The fact that they are people does not justify any behaviour on their part, just because they are people.

We could argue the same about thieves, child a users or murderers. A behaviour is not justified just because it is committed or undertaken by a person, even by a relatively decent or even good person, in any other respect. Just because they are decent individuals does not, by that fact, justify every action or behaviour they engage in. Nor should we approve it, just because they are decent individuals. They may be decent and just be mistaken about this particular behaviour. Murder is not made any more agreeable because it is sometimes committed by very nice and amiable old ladies.

If a very charming, likeable and extremely generous alien from another planet came to earth and was remarkably good at seducing men into being sexually intimate with “it,” the fact that the alien was harmless, even good, in other ways would not legitimize the behaviour. Admittedly, some humans would see nothing wrong with it, but that does not mean the OP is somehow to be blamed for taking an absolutely legitimate position that being sexually intimate with this alien is illicit and against the natural biological order. That some people would approve of this kind of behaviour does not make the OP wrong in disapproving. He has just cause, based on biology, for his position. To say he is alienophobic because he doesn’t believe sex organs should be used for anything other than what they were obviously designed for is unreasonable and disingenuous because his position is a properly basic one regarding biology and behaviour.

To claim alienophobia is the reason a man would refuse to engage with this creature is a ruse, precisely because fear of the creature has nothing to do with reasoning about why someone would or could disapprove of having sexual relations with “it,” whatever gender it is.
 
I will be honest, in admitting my homophobia. I am a person from a remote area, where homosexuals do not exist. When I was growing up, ‘F…’ was the name given to any dishonest, pretentious or morally deficient person. When I saw more of the world, all the homosexuals I met were also pretentious, malicious city-dwellers. Also, I hate all those homosexual TV shows, and the particular brand of witless, degenerate humor…

Consequently, I feel antipathy towards homosexuals. I like males and females to be properly defined. And I remember the words of Leviticus, of course.

I do not really consider myself homophobic- I am not afraid of them, I just don’t really like them and the culture they are associated with. Should I try to change, and, if so, why, and how?
I find this sad for all the reasons already mentioned, but also because you are missing out on knowing some truly kind, caring, gifted, hard working, strong, friendly, giving people. It really is your loss not getting to know the homosexuals around you. I think you will find that most of them will be people you like very much. It is really none of your business if they are sexually active or with whom any more than it is there’s if you are.
 
I will be honest, in admitting my homophobia. I am a person from a remote area, where homosexuals do not exist. When I was growing up, ‘F…’ was the name given to any dishonest, pretentious or morally deficient person. When I saw more of the world, all the homosexuals I met were also pretentious, malicious city-dwellers. Also, I hate all those homosexual TV shows, and the particular brand of witless, degenerate humor…

Consequently, I feel antipathy towards homosexuals. I like males and females to be properly defined. And I remember the words of Leviticus, of course.

I do not really consider myself homophobic- I am not afraid of them, I just don’t really like them and the culture they are associated with. Should I try to change, and, if so, why, and how?
Yes, as a Christian you should strive to show love for your fellow man. By saying that you don’t like a particular group of people based on one aspect of their life, you are being prejudiced and unaccepting, which is not in accordance with Christianity. Also, not all homosexuals belong to a certain “culture.” You might regularly interact with homosexuals who do not have any open identifiers. Certainly, you must be able to understand that not all homosexuals are pretentious city-dwellers (and what is wrong with people who live in the city?)…I mean certainly you can understand this. I see that you grew up in a small town where homophobia was accepted, but this does not make it right, and it doesn’t give you a free pass to dislike your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. It just means that you have to work harder to overcome what you have been taught.

All of my homosexual friends are extremely loving and supportive people. When you make blanket statements and keep yourself from certain groups of people you only limit yourself. I think that one of your biggest problems is that in your small town any homosexuals most likely move away or hide their homosexuality, which doesn’t leave you with the opportunity to really understand them. What you know of their “culture” comes from what you see on TV or what you read in the news, which of course will be about the extreme ends of the culture. Like I said, you might regularly interact with homosexuals who aren’t easily recognizable.

But seriously, please try to overcome your dislike. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ. Like with all people, there are good and bad homosexuals. Please try to get it out of your head that all are pretentious, city-dwellers because it is not true, and if you get these thoughts out of your head, it might be easier for you to start accepting them.

I will leave you with one final thought: You wrote above that you do not like homosexuals. There are many homosexuals who would be hurt by reading that statement. (Believe me, I have seen first hand how much these comments hurt). Would Jesus be happy that you’re hurting another?
 
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