Should I Tell Her?

[chevalier]

If it were bad, I would tell, another question his how I’d go about it.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

Kind of crude there, Matt. And yes, there are some women who are players. But a great number of naive ones fall under that cliche of “men use love to get sex and women use sex to get love”

Think about it. Many a “nice” girl has been led too far by the empty promises of a player and the promise of love and the old “prove you love me” line.

Amazingly how the same old games still work with each new generation.

Lots of women are easily manipulated by someone who doesn’t have their best interest at heart. Guys play on a girl’s insecurities, her need for love, that innate feminine desire to please… it’s why the guys are called cads. Because they love 'em and leave 'em.

It’s amazing what a silly female who thinks she’s in love can be talked into doing. All of us women have friends/relatives or God forbid, ourselves, who can relate. Since you aren’t a woman, you have no idea how it works. So be a little kinder.

Yes, wholesome good Christian girls can be talked out of their clothes too. And it’s a horrible thought to say that it’s some girl’s job to fix the guy and give him morals. Talk about lambs led to slaughter. I’ve watched predatory guys go for the innocent girl. It’s disgusting to watch. Some do it just for the fun of being “the first.” Sometimes the wholesome girls who haven’t had a lot of experience with guys ARE the most vulnerable. They may give the guy credit for good intentions that aren’t there. Their guard may be down. They may think the guy is honorable when he isn’t. They have little to compare him to. No warning lights flashing.

I think your statements were unkind.

 

[Galandriel]

If she genuinely naive, then most are incredibly sweet and honest. So be honest with her and call him the player he is.

Obviously she hasn’t been living under a rock to meet Mr. Player. And most “good Christian” girls can spot a rat a mile away. Some just really don’t care in the end.

that’s from personal experience anyway. Sometimes fitting in is more of a instant gratification in the social department as well and that is just too good for some to pass up. Pray for her. Pray about it and if God Wills it, the perfect opportunity will arise for you to speak with her.

Pax.

 

[Tosk]

Kind of crude there, Matt. And yes, there are some women who are players. But a great number of naive ones fall under that cliche of “men use love to get sex and women use sex to get love”

Think about it. Many a “nice” girl has been led too far by the empty promises of a player and the promise of love and the old “prove you love me” line.

Amazingly how the same old games still work with each new generation.

Lots of women are easily manipulated by someone who doesn’t have their best interest at heart. Guys play on a girl’s insecurities, her need for love, that innate feminine desire to please… it’s why the guys are called cads. Because they love 'em and leave 'em.

It’s amazing what a silly female who thinks she’s in love can be talked into doing. All of us women have friends/relatives or God forbid, ourselves, who can relate. Since you aren’t a woman, you have no idea how it works. So be a little kinder.

Yes, wholesome good Christian girls can be talked out of their clothes too. And it’s a horrible thought to say that it’s some girl’s job to fix the guy and give him morals. Talk about lambs led to slaughter. I’ve watched predatory guys go for the innocent girl. It’s disgusting to watch. Some do it just for the fun of being “the first.” Sometimes the wholesome girls who haven’t had a lot of experience with guys ARE the most vulnerable. They may give the guy credit for good intentions that aren’t there. Their guard may be down. They may think the guy is honorable when he isn’t. They have little to compare him to. No warning lights flashing.

I think your statements were unkind.

I find it really hard to buy into the whole innocent little girl shtick. Not that there aren’t women who are led astray by a don juan but they are few and far between. Most of the time the woman just has a desire for sex and is led into sin because she is too weak. All of the, “I was seduced and led astray” just seems like a very convenient rationalization. Just like the man that claims he couldn’t control himself with his beautiful secretary – nobody buys it. There are many strong desires and temptations that exert themselves on a person but in the end people are responsible for the choices they make.

 

[Matt33]

Kind of crude there, Matt. And yes, there are some women who are players. But a great number of naive ones fall under that cliche of “men use love to get sex and women use sex to get love”

Think about it. Many a “nice” girl has been led too far by the empty promises of a player and the promise of love and the old “prove you love me” line.

Amazingly how the same old games still work with each new generation.

Lots of women are easily manipulated by someone who doesn’t have their best interest at heart. Guys play on a girl’s insecurities, her need for love, that innate feminine desire to please… it’s why the guys are called cads. Because they love 'em and leave 'em.

It’s amazing what a silly female who thinks she’s in love can be talked into doing. All of us women have friends/relatives or God forbid, ourselves, who can relate. Since you aren’t a woman, you have no idea how it works. So be a little kinder.

Yes, wholesome good Christian girls can be talked out of their clothes too. And it’s a horrible thought to say that it’s some girl’s job to fix the guy and give him morals. Talk about lambs led to slaughter. I’ve watched predatory guys go for the innocent girl. It’s disgusting to watch. Some do it just for the fun of being “the first.” Sometimes the wholesome girls who haven’t had a lot of experience with guys ARE the most vulnerable. They may give the guy credit for good intentions that aren’t there. Their guard may be down. They may think the guy is honorable when he isn’t. They have little to compare him to. No warning lights flashing.

I think your statements were unkind.

Ok my statesments were not unkind that is a little over the top. I just disagree with you. Lets try not to use little tricks just to try to “win” an argument here. No demonization please.

I disagree with the whole premise you have.

1. it is sexist to put the blame on the all powerful man. In this day and age women are by far the agressors. This has to do with the sexualization of kids and the imasculation of men. I suppose that you think the girls on the infamous infomercials late at night are “tricked” by that nasty money hungry man.
2. Women are irreplaceable in the conversion of hearts and souls. Many a man has been shown the “light” so to speak by meeting the right woman that he wants to become better for. It is actually a sad situation that when you go to mass if you happen to catch a glimpse of a man you will usually find a mom or wife or girlfriend that draged him there.
3. I know from my own experience falling in love with a good christian girl. Getting married having a family that God was working through another to make me holy and to make me a better Chrisian, husband and father.
4. Just look at our sweet Mother. Mary was innocent, pure, and naive to the evils of the world yet she is responsible for leading people to Christ.
5. As the father to two young daughters I take exception to your view of women. My daughters will be innocent, strong, soul nourishing people. I expect nothing more or less from my kids no matter what the sex. I guess to you there really is a weaker sex. Since poor girls are so “naive” (do you mean dumb?) and weak to the obvious prowess, suave, and sheer pheromonically superior man. Looks like I will have to unlearn my sensitivity training. On the other hand I h=guess you do have a point about nothing being different from generations in the past. Especially when it comes to how we see the worth of women.

 

[Tybourne]

Women are fallen as well as men, even good-hearted, innocent, naive Christian girls. Specifically, this innate moral weakness takes the form of women being attracted to cads. This has been demonstrated by evolutionary psychology which shows that female human (fallen) nature includes a short-term mating strategy in which women are attracted to men who appear to be risk-takers, dominant or witty as well as a long-term (divinely given) mating strategy which leads women to be attracted to men who are nurturing, kind and generous. The problem these days is that there are whole clusters of men (a movement in fact) that play on women’s predilection for cads in order to multiply their options for promiscuity. We don’t know, but it’s possible that Bob is involved in this movement, which would be likely to attract someone as controlling as you describe him.

Therefore, I think you should anonymously tell the girl(s) you know of your *personal * experience with ‘Bob’ and then urge ‘Dan’ to do the same. Be wary of gossip, a sin that women seem to be especially prone to- see St James’ Epistle on the sins of the tongue. St Raphael, Holy Archangel and patron of marriage, pray for us.

 

[Matt33]

Women are fallen as well as men, even good-hearted, innocent, naive Christian girls. Specifically, this innate moral weakness takes the form of women being attracted to cads. This has been demonstrated by evolutionary psychology which shows that female human (fallen) nature includes a short-term mating strategy in which women are attracted to men who appear to be risk-takers, dominant or witty as well as a long-term (divinely given) mating strategy which leads women to be attracted to men who are nurturing, kind and generous. The problem these days is that there are whole clusters of men (a movement in fact) that play on women’s predilection for cads in order to multiply their options for promiscuity. We don’t know, but it’s possible that Bob is involved in this movement, which would be likely to attract someone as controlling as you describe him.

Therefore, I think you should anonymously tell the girl(s) you know of your *personal * experience with ‘Bob’ and then urge ‘Dan’ to do the same. Be wary of gossip, a sin that women seem to be especially prone to- see St James’ Epistle on the sins of the tongue. St Raphael, Holy Archangel and patron of marriage, pray for us.

What is this movement you speak of?

Is CAD a Canada, euro thing?

 

[Tybourne]

Hi Matt,

My answer was addressed to the OP. It’s important for women to know that there is a movement out there teaching men to be cads (a man who behaves dishonourably, especially towards a woman- Oxford English Dictionary- I guess you might say a ‘heel’). As a man you’re better off not knowing about it, I don’t want to be an occasion of sin for you. I hope this makes sense.

 

[Matt33]

Hi Matt,

My answer was addressed to the OP. It’s important for women to know that there is a movement out there teaching men to be cads (a man who behaves dishonourably, especially towards a woman- Oxford English Dictionary- I guess you might say a ‘heel’). As a man you’re better off not knowing about it, I don’t want to be an occasion of sin for you. I hope this makes sense.

Nope but ok. I looked it up and it is a regal era word. " I do say sire, thou art a cad and I Challenge thee to a duel yonder at the gates."… “Poor Scarlett it appears the cad of nottingham has stolen her heart and her dignity as well as her money”
Your answer struck me as upity. I hope that was not intended. 'round these parts we call these “men” players or playas if you prefer. I just call them scum. I hope this isn’t an occasion of sin for you I probably would not say heel. I would use appropriate terminoligy.
I am very interested how “as a man I am better off not knowing about it.” especially with two daughters.

CAD can also be an acronym for (computer aided drafting) or even (control alt delete)

 

[Tybourne]

Nope but ok. I looked it up and it is a regal era word. " I do say sire, thou art a cad and I Challenge thee to a duel yonder at the gates."… “Poor Scarlett it appears the cad of nottingham has stolen her heart and her dignity as well as her money”
Your answer struck me as upity. I hope that was not intended. 'round these parts we call these “men” players or playas if you prefer. I just call them scum. I hope this isn’t an occasion of sin for you I probably would not say heel. I would use appropriate terminoligy.
I am very interested how “as a man I am better off not knowing about it.” especially with two daughters.

Hi Matt- please accept my apologies- no offense intended or taken- these things can happen online- when it’s impossible to know who one’s speaking to. All the best.

 

[Matt33]

Hi Matt- please accept my apologies- no offense intended or taken- these things can happen online- when it’s impossible to know who one’s speaking to. All the best.

Absolutley… no offence her either. BTW I did have fun coming up with sentences for cad.