Should I tell my stepson my husband was not his father?

[catholicevermor]

I was married to a man who was my second marriage and his third marriage. His second ex-wife had gotten pregnant by another man while he was married to her and she refused to admit this to her children. My husband had a vastectomy after their first child was born, which means the second child was not his. He doesn’t even look like his father. This child was never told about this, he is now in the service and still thinks my deceased husband is his father. I have proof in his divorce paperwork (the court record states that the son is not my husband’s biological child) and I have kept the paperwork since my husband passed away (thirteen years ago).

Should I inform the son of this, or should I keep it to myself? I feel the son should know in case in the future he might need to know his true DNA but when I pass away this information will be lost to him. I know personally from my deceased husband’s own mouth and his divorce papers that the son is not his biological child. I want to do what is right in the eyes of God. Please help me to do the right thing. I have several health issues and don’t want to die with this on my soul. I have recently come home to the faith and am trying to do the right thing.

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

May I ask how you could possibly think that it would be “the right thing” to deprive an innocent child of the only father he has ever known? A father who has been gone thirteen years now and can no longer assure this young man that he was loved in spite of a lack of blood ties (which he must have been for this father not to reveal this information to the child)?

In any case, you have not presented me with enough information to know for certain whether or not your husband really was not the biological father of this young man. Vasectomies have been known to fail. Sons don’t always physically resemble their fathers. If a paternity test was not performed, and the court relied solely upon the fact of the vasectomy to render its judgment, then there is a possibility that your husband was this young man’s biological father.

I urge you to leave the matter alone. I cannot see any good that could come of telling your stepson that the man he thought his father all his life was not his father, especially when there exists a possibility that it’s not true. If it makes you feel better, entrust the paperwork you have to a mature, responsible person who can be trusted to safeguard the documents and release them to your stepson only in the event that there arises a medical emergency that requires knowledge of biological paternity (keeping in mind that not every medical emergency requires such knowledge).