Should I tell them

[apromisemade]

As some of you may know, I am a freshman at college. I’ve had a pretty hard go of it at life but have been working with the counsoling services here at the school and have been incredibly blessed with a wonderful Christian therapist at the center who really seems to care about me.

Recently though, he and the other profesionals I’ve been working with there are strongly suspecting a certain emotional disorder. It’s not a definative diagnosis yet, but they’ve been doing testing and I’ve looked it up online, and so far all the peices fit.

It’s one of a group of disassociative disorders, specifically, depersonalization disorder. Basically what it is is that, when under stress, the mind takes steps to make the situation seem less real and to, hence the name, disassociate the emotions from experience, causing feelings of detachment and being disconnected from reality.

It’s a survival tactic for people with a history of physical, mental, and or emotional abuse.

And the kicker is, there really is no real textbook cure, no effectively proven treatment. There are records of it being treated successfully, there just no real pattern as to what works for who.

But the real question for me is, do I tell my parents about this.

Part of me would like to think it would force them to acknowledge what I was put through as a child…

But then again, I still get angry when I think of my dad calling me when I was in the psyciatric hospital as a danger to myself and said he “knew” I would “never really do anything to hurt myself, you know doctors after all, they get paid to worry.”

So, what do you think. Would it do more harm than good? Or vic versa?

 

[Schluns]

I really think that this is something that you need to seek guidance from your counselors. I would also suggest doing under a controlled clinical environment.

Based on your fathers response to your (name removed by moderator)atient needs, your parents response will not be the one that you desire, but the one that you expect from them based on their past behaviors.

 

[PaulinVA]

Why would you tell them? To get justice from them, in the form of an acknowledgment or an apology?

Do you really think that would happen? If not, I don’t know. Sharing your life with them is important. I would want to know that about my children.

 

[apromisemade]

Why would you tell them? To get justice from them, in the form of an acknowledgment or an apology?

Do you really think that would happen? If not, I don’t know. Sharing your life with them is important. I would want to know that about my children.

Thank you.

I know, in my head, I’m never going to get an apology from them, or at least that it would spare me a lot of grief if I stopped seeking one. But, in my heart, that’s something I still struggle to accept.

I guess that’s why I feel conflicted about telling them. On the one hand I’m not sure what good would come of it, but on the other hand, regardless of my history with them, they are my parents.

 

[yellowbird]

I would tell them in a letter. Then I would know they knew… you are right, they are your parents and they ought to know… but it would give them time to digest what’s being said before they respond. Sometimes people just don’t know what to say, speak totally off the cuff and end up saying something stupid. I would hate for that to happen, mostly because it would hurt you.

so yeah, if it were me… I’d send a letter. Tell them exactly what’s going on… tell them to call you if they want to talk about it.

God bless you.