I’ve talked to the priest tonight at RCIA and I think I’m going to have a relaxing time once the annulment is final. And I’ve already talked to someone at the Tribunal on Monday to make sure everything is clear, not to mention mentioned the situation. But I’m not sure she talked to the judge.Hi Bee, I’m going through the same type of annulment and RCIA at present. I talked with the local priest last summer, and he gave me the name and number for the tribunal advocate in the parish. This advocate has been VERY helpful to me. She knows what the forms entail and exactly how to go to bat for you. Best wishes to you.
Hmm. Bee, when your family left the Church, you hadn’t yet had your First Communion? (I guess I’m just confused that you mentioned ‘Confirmation’…)Thanks! Since I’m not confirmed (family left the Church when I was 8), I can’t.
Good morning. Yes that’s what happened. I was going to have my 1st communion in the 2nd grade when my parents decided to leave the Church. Of course I was crying because I was happy there. I couldn’t wait to wear the white dress and eat the wafer for the first time. About 90% of my class were Catholic (the rest were Jewish and Muslims) and we would go to religion class on Wednesday afternoon. When that happened, my parents wouldn’t let me go to class anymore, stating that Catholicism was bad. At that point, we were attending a Pentecostal church. I felt so out of place when were there with all the jumping and shouting. At school, I was being teased for not attending religion anymore and was out of place. That eventually escalated to other things and I was bullied all the time. Trust me, those years were tough. Finally, I started to rebel against my parents (especially my dad) during junior high. Don’t get me wrong, I was still a good kid. I just didn’t want to go to Church anymore.Hmm. Bee, when your family left the Church, you hadn’t yet had your First Communion? (I guess I’m just confused that you mentioned ‘Confirmation’…)
so i’m getting married to a wonderful guy. I can go on and on about him but that’s for another thread. I’m currently in the middle of getting my annulment from my first marriage done.
Here’s the back story:
I was 19 when i got married (clerks office, not church). In reality, i didn’t want to because i wanted to wait a long engagement (wait until i graduated college). But he was very manipulative, stating “if you don’t marry me now, i will kill myself” and other stuff. He said that if we do, we’ll have the big wedding later on. So i went ahead and did it but he insist that i should continue to stay with my parents and his at his parents. Yeah i know, very stupid on our parts. Hey, i was very naive and vulnerable during that time.
I quickly regretted the decision and wanted to get an annulment or divorce but he kept on threatening me saying if i leave him, he’s going to tell my family what we did. Then he got arrested for petty larceny for something that happened at his job. At that moment, i told my family about what happened. But after he got out of jail, he disappeared. I tried to get the address for his family but they won’t (his whole family hates me because of my ethnicity). Without an address, i have no way to send my divorce papers to him.
About 4 years later, as i was using a background check on a guy i was dating (hey i needed to be careful), i decided to check if i could find my estranged husband. And i did. Then i set the divorce in motion. I was surprised that i got a response back. The divorce didn’t take long because in new york, you can file a no-fault divorce (both agreeing and not settling things like houses, money, or kids). I just wanted to close that chapter in my life.
Not so fast… Fast forward 6 years later (aka the present). My boyfriend of 2 years proposes to me. We were talking about where we should have our wedding and suggested his home parish would be great. I started to attend mass with him and his family and felt at home. But we both knew we can’t meet up with the priest until my mistake from 11 years ago was solved. I got to the annulment questionnaire (it’s for lack of canonical form) last weekend and filled almost everything out. But when they asked about places we’ve lived, this is where i’m stuck.
So it goes back to my question… Should i write a letter explaining everything i just stated to everyone here? I want to be clear that the farce known as my 1st marriage was never valid. My mom recently said that i should just forget about it and find a jop to marry us (she converted to a non-denominational christian). It’s already tough to endure my family criticizing for returning to catholicism, but the annulment process takes it a few more notches. All i want is to marry the man i love in the eyes of our family, friends, and most importantly god and his church. :bighanky:
No offense but I have no idea what you’re talking about. All I’m stating was my previous issue (and its backstory) and if I should add this in with my annulment questionnaire.Just to mention: I met the lord in a nondenominational church–i take it back, it was disciples of christ but based on nondenominational witnessing. I wrangled about enough with truth–that i asked him to tell me it. He did! I was willing to obey–and that was what it took: Holy-spirit baptism! Tongues came a year later–they were there but inchoate like a silent seed as revealed by the lord!
Still: The lord told me to pursue annulment with the catholic church–whose personality is a personality-characteristic of his, i might note, according to him–because the church is one and we must all function together. Suffering disability and not able to do much but supernaturally understand the word and preach it, i began: What this means is incrementally by inquiring and over…years. Still in process–working on! Not submitted yet.
The warning i am to give is not to take for granted. Marriage is serious. To ever approach any committee as ‘fait accomplis’–done deal–is a mistake. Whatever the situation! Anything else.
<3+“theyehovah”–there are some red flags in your commenTs that a serious believer will strongly consider about taking liberties with dating that might need to be addressed
About to go to Mass right now! Thank you but let’s wait until that annulment is done so we can celebrate.Best wishes for a long and happy marriage.
God Bless and Welcome Home!!