Should kids have their own smartphones?

  • Thread starter Thread starter EnglishTeacher
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
E

EnglishTeacher

Guest
I am not a parent yet, so this question is mostly hypothetical on my part, but I am curious as to your opinions: Should kids and/or teenagers be given cell phones of their own, specifically smart phones? If so, what age did you give your kids their own phones?

My own opinion is that it is unnecessary, and I would not give my kids a smart phone - maybe a plain cell phone when they reach high school (if the industry is still making plain phones by then). I think it hinders real-life socialization and promotes living in a “virtual world” instead of getting out and experiencing the real world. I also think it really dumbs down communication skills in young people.

However, it’s surprising how many kids I know who have their own phone. It’s very rare to find a teenager that doesn’t have one. So I wonder - am I missing something? Is there a good reason to get them their own phone? Does it make them a total social misfit nowadays if they don’t have one? (I am just interested in your responses - not judging anyone who has a different opinion than mine and gave their kid or teenager a phone.)
 
DSD is turning 12 next week and we JUST got her a smartphone a couple of weeks ago.

She has spent the last 12 years learning to have genuine face-to-face conversations with people. She is generally very polite and very accommodating towards others.

We had felt, similarly to you, that we’d just get her a flip phone when she learned to drive. (We live in a small community in a rural area. Having a phone is essential in case you break down on the highway.) But I think what changed us was knowing that teachers are sometimes implementing classroom activities that require students to use their phones (e.g. using a Kahoot! This is an online quiz students answer with their phones.) We have access to her phone and we also have her passwords for online accounts (Facebook, Instagram, and email). She knows about online safety and has never been a bully so we’re not worried about cyberbullying.
 
There’s no reason for it. Especially for kids. A regular phone is fine.

Ed
 
EnglishTeacher said:
I am not a parent yet, so this question is mostly hypothetical on my part, but I am curious as to your opinions: Should kids and/or teenagers be given cell phones of their own, specifically smart phones? If so, what age did you give your kids their own phones?

My own opinion is that it is unnecessary, and I would not give my kids a smart phone - maybe a plain cell phone when they reach high school (if the industry is still making plain phones by then). I think I hinders real-life socialization and promotes living in a “virtual world” instead of getting out and experiencing the real world. I also think it really dumbs down communication skills in young people.

However, it’s surprising how many kids I know who have their own phone. It’s very rare to find a teenager that doesn’t have one. So I wonder - am I missing something? Is there a good reason to get them their own phone? Does it make them a total social misfit nowadays if they don’t have one? (I am just interested in your responses - not judging anyone who has a different opinion than mine and gave their kid or teenager a phone.)
Click to expand...
My kids so far have gotten a cell phone when they went to high school–not smart phones because when the first two went to high school I don’t believe smart phones existed–so I didn’t have to think about it. I don’t know what we’ll do next year when child 4 starts high school–the cheapest option my be to add a smart phone to our plan, but heck I didn’t get a smart phone until May of this year. I wanted them to be able to contact us when they needed to. Sports, various activities, coordinating pickup times etc.

I would say in this day an age it probably does make them a bit of a social misfit–if all of their friends have phones and are texting each other (which seems to be a primary means of communication these days) and they don’t have a phone or the ability to text–well they’re not able to “communicate” with their friends. This has been an issue for our 8th grader–though he does have some limited texting ability through an old iPod Touch hand me down. Heck last year in my third graders class there was a kid with not only a smart phone but also an Apple watch–go figure. Not getting your kid a phone will put them in the minority. Had this conversation with another parent just this summer–their last child started high school this fall and they were getting him a dumb phone and he was not happy about it–don’t think he was happy to find out that that is what we had done for our kids. It was nice to see that we were not alone–cause sometimes it feels like it.

What about a car–considered that question.

The peace of Christ,
Mark
 
edwest2 said:
There’s no reason for it. Especially for kids. A regular phone is fine.

Ed
Click to expand...
Any more though–more and more school stuff comes via electronic communication, various app’s are required, etc. --you’re basically being forced into this world. As we have traditionally been a technology challenged family --one crummy out dated computer with a chronically malfunctioning hand me down printer until a year and a half ago–it has been a source of frustration–your expected to have a phone that not only gets texts, but also email and other alerts, your expected to have a computer with word and excel and the ability to print, your expected to have internet access in order to do research, etc, etc, etc. If you don’t have it at home–it can make it hard for your child to keep up and get the work done. Granted much of this rant is not regarding phones, but technology in general and the assumption that we can all afford it. I’m surprised by the number of families in our school where each child has there own smart phone, iPad, computer, tv, etc.–and at how schools often just assume/expect kids to.

I will say that since I got my smart phone in May–something I wasn’t overly excited about–I don’t think I’ve turned on the home computer (which I didn’t do much before anyways, because it just wasn’t convenient and it was often needed for homework). I find the phone quite helpful–for looking up information quickly, learning a language (there are some pretty good free apps out there), you can get iBreviary, Lighthouse communications has a nice app, Bishop Barron does a weekly podcast you can subscribe to, and I can print from the phone. I have found the phone much more useful than I thought I would. I think I may be becoming a convert:(

The peace of Christ,
Mark
 
EnglishTeacher said:
I am not a parent yet, so this question is mostly hypothetical on my part, but I am curious as to your opinions: Should kids and/or teenagers be given cell phones of their own, specifically smart phones? If so, what age did you give your kids their own phones?

My own opinion is that it is unnecessary, and I would not give my kids a smart phone - maybe a plain cell phone when they reach high school (if the industry is still making plain phones by then). I think it hinders real-life socialization and promotes living in a “virtual world” instead of getting out and experiencing the real world. I also think it really dumbs down communication skills in young people.

However, it’s surprising how many kids I know who have their own phone. It’s very rare to find a teenager that doesn’t have one. So I wonder - am I missing something? Is there a good reason to get them their own phone? Does it make them a total social misfit nowadays if they don’t have one? (I am just interested in your responses - not judging anyone who has a different opinion than mine and gave their kid or teenager a phone.)
Click to expand...
Hey,

I would say that it is unnecessary to have a smartphone if one is a teen. As long as they can call and text, that’s enough. If they don’t have one, it won’t make them a misfit at all.

Source: 11th grader

All the best
 
MarkInOregon said:
Any more though–more and more school stuff comes via electronic communication, various app’s are required, etc. --you’re basically being forced into this world. As we have traditionally been a technology challenged family --one crummy out dated computer with a chronically malfunctioning hand me down printer until a year and a half ago–it has been a source of frustration–your expected to have a phone that not only gets texts, but also email and other alerts, your expected to have a computer with word and excel and the ability to print, your expected to have internet access in order to do research, etc, etc, etc. If you don’t have it at home–it can make it hard for your child to keep up and get the work done. Granted much of this rant is not regarding phones, but technology in general and the assumption that we can all afford it. I’m surprised by the number of families in our school where each child has there own smart phone, iPad, computer, tv, etc.–and at how schools often just assume/expect kids to.

I will say that since I got my smart phone in May–something I wasn’t overly excited about–I don’t think I’ve turned on the home computer (which I didn’t do much before anyways, because it just wasn’t convenient and it was often needed for homework). I find the phone quite helpful–for looking up information quickly, learning a language (there are some pretty good free apps out there), you can get iBreviary, Lighthouse communications has a nice app, Bishop Barron does a weekly podcast you can subscribe to, and I can print from the phone. I have found the phone much more useful than I thought I would. I think I may be becoming a convert:(

The peace of Christ,
Mark
Click to expand...
👍 I have the Laudate app on my phone, and look through it every day.

One aspect people haven’t mentioned: iPhones have the “Find My iPhone” app. Our family phones are connected to each other, and if my wife or I want to know where our children are, for example, how long before the ski club bus returns to the school, etc., we simply look at the Find My iPhone app and it shows us a satellite image and p(name removed by moderator)oints all the phones.
 
I don’t want to be forced into anything. I don’t need cable. I don’t need texting and I don’t need apps. I know all about it but I’ll get the bare minimum and that’s all. For kids, they need what they need but anything after that is a luxury, an extra buck (or more) most people don’t have.

Just tell your kids the truth. Set a budget. Do without if need be for your kids but I never felt entitled to anything. I’m still living that way. If I can’t afford it, I can’t afford it, aside from the basics.

Ed
 
Ideally we don’t plan to let our daughter have a smartphone until at least 12 years old. Longer if it isn’t a necessity in school (which is seeming less and less likely as more and more schools are incorporating tablets and smartphones to their curriculum). We already have a plan to deal with her noticing our own smartphone use by treating our smartphones as our “cameras”, since about half the time she’d see us with them we’re taking pictures of her or third parties (I use my phone as my only camera). And if she wants I’ll gladly get her a small camera to take pictures like her parents since photography is actually a great hobby.

It is a tough balancing act though since tablets and smartphones are something all kids will need to know how to use. I’ve had discussions with some of my friends who are parents and most of them long ago gave in before their kids had even turned 1 in some cases and started letting them use tablets and smartphones for the ease of distraction and for the ability to familiarize themselves with a technology that is ubiquitous, and arguably necessary, today.
 
Both the school district where I reside as well as the district where I work provide the students with a device for their school work. (currently ipads) A smartphone isn’t really necessary. When our kids are old enough to go places without us, we will probably add an extra phone to our family plan so that they can have one with them for safety and convenience sake. What kind of phone that would be, I’m not sure. I would probably not give them their “own” phone. I’m really concerned about the damage done by having teens plugged into the internet and social media on a constant basis.
 
I guess the question is: Why not?

Money?
Distraction?

Literally, right now, about 10’ away from me, my 14 year old daughter and her friend are having a world of fun playing a charades game with an iPhone app. The app plays sounds, gives the clues, etc., and the girls are dancing all over the kitchen.

So it’s not as if all young people are completely immersed in non-personal contact when smartphones are introduced.

Our older daughter is an introvert. She had virtually no communication with anyone outside of the family when she wasn’t at school. She didn’t call friends on the telephone, friends didn’t call her on the telephone. For the most part, her home life was isolated, aside from her participation in sports. We got her a texting phone before either my wife or I had one–and her whole life opened up.

Now she’s in college, she’s majoring in social media/digital marketing, and has an Instagram account with several thousand followers. 🤷
 
My two oldest (18 and 21) share a text only phone and a car. The phone goes with the car. My son asked me when he was 15 when he could get a smart phone. And I said? ‘When you get a job and want to pay for it’. So far he hasn’t wanted to pay for it, so…

One of the local businesses near me that employs a lot of teens and young adults has a sign on the kitchen door that says, “any employee caught checking their phone on the clock will be fired on the spot”. Harsh? Maybe, but I know many people that seem to be addicted to their phones.
 
Usige said:
My two oldest (18 and 21) share a text only phone and a car. The phone goes with the car. My son asked me when he was 15 when he could get a smart phone. And I said? ‘When you get a job and want to pay for it’. So far he hasn’t wanted to pay for it, so…

One of the local businesses near me that employs a lot of teens and young adults has a sign on the kitchen door that says, “any employee caught checking their phone on the clock will be fired on the spot”. Harsh? Maybe, but I know many people that seem to be addicted to their phones.
Click to expand...
I have a relative who also hires a similar age group for what sounds like a similar business, and I believe she’s fired two of our second cousins (!!!) over checking their phones on the clock. I assume there was a warning…
 
Xantippe said:
I have a relative who also hires a similar age group for what sounds like a similar business, and I believe she’s fired two of our second cousins (!!!) over checking their phones on the clock. I assume there was a warning…
Click to expand...
My kids are still wayyyyy too young for phones or personal devices of any kind (though my oldest gets to play a couple simple games every now and then on my husband’s tablet) and this is probably my biggest fear - that the device simply becomes an extension of their hands/arms/brains. The biggest fear would be pornography, but if I got a device you bet there’d be as much filtering as I could get on it, and they’d know from day one that they should have zero expectation of privacy. And of course, the reality that they’re probably going to see it elsewhere. 😦

I think a lot of it depends on the kid and the “family culture” surrounding their use. I have cut back a lot on our TV time, and on my personal Internet time (only when they are sleeping unless there’s an urgent need, which is basically never if I’m honest with myself). What media time we do have is typically family time. I don’t like being in a room with people all staring at their own screens and only grunting at each other in conversation.

That said, they are definitely useful, but I think they need to be kept that way - regarded as a thing to use for a purpose, not just whatever you reach for because it’s easy. Some kids might have a harder time with that than others.
 
EnglishTeacher said:
… My own opinion is that it is unnecessary, and I would not give my kids a smart phone - maybe a plain cell phone when they reach high school (if the industry is still making plain phones by then). I think it hinders real-life socialization and promotes living in a “virtual world” instead of getting out and experiencing the real world. I also think it really dumbs down communication skills in young people…
Click to expand...
All that and much more. In my opinion, the current trend toward a smartphone for every teen is a huge and risky social experiment. I think we are raising a generation of social misfits. What television began, the smartphone will finish. Heaven help us!
 
I speak from experience: in the latter years of middle school (or junior high), and of course in high school, having a phone is an extensive advantage. Many teachers use Remind or like apps for communication with students which only works reasonably on a smartphone. In some schools, there may even be a shameful environment for those without phones often promulgated by teachers (for which my mother was gracious enough to write me a note if this were to happen).

Elementary school is, to me, undoubtedly too young for children to have their own phones (though maybe a flip phone for safety). What a risk!
 
I would like to second what a couple posters have already said - in some schools, like ours - they actually use the smart phones in the classrooms, and pretty much expect all kids to have one. Being without one has already caused our youngest some social issues as it does/did the older ones - but she’s the first one to be literally surrounded by smart phones and have to ask the teacher for a “loaner” for class. The older kids were in the minority - but it wasn’t used in class and there was always at least a couple other kids that had to borrow the coaches, friend’s, etc to make a call. Then it was still socially okay and people willingly lent phones. Now, not so much.

Age wise - our oldest got her cell phone (of any kind) as a college graduation present, the next one at high school graduation, the next one sophomore year (he was going on a school trip to CA and needed it to keep in touch with the group), the current high school will probably get one this Christmas (shhhh! It will be a surprise!) - mainly because of a combination of school, social issues, and just the need to be able to reach him as he engages in various high school activities. The other two - probably not too much longer - so aged 13 -14.

If we could afford it would probably just do it now and be able to get rid of the landline that costs more than a cell phone would.

As mentioned before - these smart phones are expected here for in class work, and also plain flip-phones really aren’t available that much anymore.

And the most basic reason they need a phone at all is the change in society - no one (coaches/team managers/scout leaders/etc) want to give a set time anymore and hold to it. It’s will call when finished, or we were supposed to work/practice/etc till 6pm but we’re done now (at 5:30). It’s not - pick your child up at X time. Instead it’s “Your child will call when we’re 20 minutes away from arriving.”

Even the middle school told the kids to call their parents when school let out so they’d know when to walk out the door on rainy days.

Yes, my child can (and does) borrow someone’s phone every time this stuff comes up - but it’s hard on my kid and this just isn’t a hill worth dying on. So as we can afford it, each of the remaining kids will get one, and we’ll keep adjusting the rules accordingly.
 
Beryllos said:
All that and much more. In my opinion, the current trend toward a smartphone for every teen is a huge and risky social experiment. I think we are raising a generation of social misfits. What television began, the smartphone will finish. Heaven help us!
Click to expand...
I totally disagree with the notion that smartphones breed social misfits. Granted, I’d totally agree with you in theory, except based on my kids and their friends, it’s an unfounded fear.
 
I would say hold off for as long as possible for even a basic cell phone. When my daughter was in 6th grade she complained that she and one other girl were the only ones without cell phones. My justification to her was that there was no where that she went that she NEEDED a phone. If she was at school; office phone. If she was at a friend’s house; house phone. She was not working yet or involved in extracurricular activities. Nor was she driving.
I talked to a lady one time who said something that I really took to heart. She said, “Once you get them a phone, you lose them a little bit.” :crying:
Her dad got her a smartphone at Easter and the amount of texts, selfies, snapchat, etc has reached an all time level of “stupid”. It has become an appendage!
I believe a good quality computer is needed at home for schoolwork, but I don’t personally think all the other stuff on the phone is necessary.
My daughter went on her first youth group trip and came home and told me a boy on the bus was looking at porn. :eek: My only deduction was that he did because he could and peers don’t want to “rat each other out” The words I hear over and over are: “And lead us not into temptation” Again, the smartphone is a luxury, not a necessity.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top