Should marriage be compulsory?

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Salonika

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Some posters on another thread on this forum have expressed the view that God has a planned number of children in mind for people. They have also expressed concern at the population decline as a result of abortion and people deciding to limit their families.

I was wondering if there would be support for marriage being compulsory (except for those who become priests or religious).

I am not in favour of this idea as I think some people. like me, are called to the single celibate life.
 
It seems to me that you’ve quite answered your own question - some people are called to the single, celibate life. I cannot see that there would be much support for compulsory marriage - one does not simply “get married”. We all know that there is much that happens before the marriage, and of course the key must be that a loving relationship exists - and it is in the context of this loving relationship that the married couple should bring children into the world. Thus, marriage is not something that should be forced on anybody. Imagine the negative social effects which could stem from a “compulsory marriage” rule - one that I could certainly see is a hugely increased rate of marital breakdown, which, of course, not only affects the married couple, but their children and the wider family unit.
 
None of the Sacraments are compulsory. We all have a free choice.

To make marriage compulsory would remove some of our free will, would it not?
 
Making marriage compulsory would destroy the Sacrament as any marriage contracted under this requirement would be invalid, and hence not a sacramental union.

From the CCC.

1627 The consent consists in a “human act by which the partners mutually give themselves to each other”: “I take you to be my wife” - “I take you to be my husband.” This consent that binds the spouses to each other finds its fulfillment in the two “becoming one flesh.”

1628 The consent must be an act of the will of each of the contracting parties, free of coercion or grave external fear. No human power can substitute for this consent.131 If this freedom is lacking the marriage is invalid.
 
So are arranged marriages invalid?

Thinking culturally across the centuries, even Europe practiced arranged marriages. If someone consents to an “arrange” marriage, are they consenting to the marriage or submitting to the wishes of parents?
 
tm30 said:
So are arranged marriages invalid?

Thinking culturally across the centuries, even Europe practiced arranged marriages. If someone consents to an “arrange[d]” marriage, are they consenting to the marriage or submitting to the wishes of parents?
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Most likely both.

Theirs is not an “either/or” consideration, unless they make it so.

There most certainly WERE marriages that were not really consented to by the “betrothed”, but you would probably have found it VERY difficult to convince most people of that day that they weren’t consenting to the marriage they were being “arranged” into! 🙂

We have to be careful of thinking anachronistically.

:shamrock2:
 
I know I have relations who were forced into marriage in the 20th Century. They were bitter and fought to get out of it some respectable way even though their own families, their most central cultural context, wanted them married. I have also heard stories of people in cultures that believe in arranged marriage in which both spouses really worked behind the scenes to make their parents see it their way. Many girls sold into “marriage” as children escape and run for the hills nowadays and perhaps always have. It seems to me we are designed to want to choose very much. So, no, I doubt very many Christians today support forced marriage. Even those who have might just have seen it as the only way they could be sure their children’s children would survive.🤷 It couldn’t be a good thing. If anyone made me get married I’d do whatever I had to do to get away.
 
Salonika said:
Some posters on another thread on this forum have expressed the view that God has a planned number of children in mind for people. They have also expressed concern at the population decline as a result of abortion and people deciding to limit their families.

I was wondering if there would be support for marriage being compulsory (except for those who become priests or religious).

I am not in favour of this idea as I think some people. like me, are called to the single celibate life.
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I can’t imagine the hierarchy of the Church supporting such a concept. It would be like compulsory priesthood. This is not something that can be forced on someone, though many well meaning parents may have done so or tried to do so over the course of time. Marriage is a vocation–one must be called to it by God and fully committed to it for it to be what Christ intended.
 
Salonika said:
Some posters on another thread on this forum have expressed the view that God has a planned number of children in mind for people. They have also expressed concern at the population decline as a result of abortion and people deciding to limit their families.

I was wondering if there would be support for marriage being compulsory (except for those who become priests or religious).

I am not in favour of this idea as I think some people. like me, are called to the single celibate life.
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No. Leave such things to the Holy Spirit.
 
Salonika said:
I was wondering if there would be support for marriage being compulsory (except for those who become priests or religious).
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So do you think that everyone, except those that become priests, should be legally forced to marry and produce offspring?
 
larsegarots said:
So do you think that everyone, except those that become priests, should be legally forced to marry and produce offspring?
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I would vote “no”. 🙂

Who would do the “forcing”? It certainly wouldn’t be the Church, as the Church doesn’t have the power to “force”.

:shamrock2:
 
larsegarots said:
So do you think that everyone, except those that become priests, should be legally forced to marry and produce offspring?
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I certainly do not (as I tried to make clear in my opening post). Marriage is a vocation, in my view, in the same way as the priesthood and the religious life.

As an older single person I have been been told a number of times that I have been selfish not marrying and having children (assuming I could have had them) and I should not have been as finnickity about who I would marry (making assumptions again).

Some even seem to think my parents should have told me to accept someone they thought suitable for me.
 
Salonika said:
I certainly do not (as I tried to make clear in my opening post). Marriage is a vocation, in my view, in the same way as the priesthood and the religious life.

As an older single person I have been been told a number of times that I have been selfish not marrying and having children (assuming I could have had them) and I should not have been as finnickity about who I would marry (making assumptions again).

Some even seem to think my parents should have told me to accept someone they thought suitable for me.
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I agree with you. Everyone has a different walk in life. I don’t think you were being selfish. Think about it this way: if you marry because that’s what others tell you to do, you would marry for the wrong reasons, and probably live an unhappy life.
 
Salonika said:
They have also expressed concern at the population decline as a result of abortion and people deciding to limit their families.
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Right now, global population is growing fast.

Where these concerns in reference to a decline in the faithful? Because that is something to be concerned about.
 
DustinM said:
Right now, global population is growing fast.

Where these concerns in reference to a decline in the faithful? Because that is something to be concerned about.
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The are a range of concerns behind the lower birthrate - depends to some extent on which thread that concerns it you are on. Some of the concerns I have some across are:
  1. that non-Christian religions (especially Islam) will come to dominate in terms of numbers
  2. that this will be happen more quickly because the present population will not reproduce itself
  3. that it will lead to a number of older people with no-one to care about or care for them
  4. that there will not be enough workers to support an increasingly older population
  5. smaller numbers of priests and religious
  6. a lack of suitable spouses for the faithful
  7. families dying out as no-one has children to carry them on
  8. individual selfishness in not getting married or getting married without the intention to have the number of children God has planned for them.
  9. lack of babies/children available for married couples who need/want to adopt.
 
No. Marriage is a vocation and a call from God, as important for the life of the Church and as holy as the priesthood. No one should be forced into a vocation. They must be called by the Holy Spirit.
 
Salonika said:
The are a range of concerns behind the lower birthrate - depends to some extent on which thread that concerns it you are on. Some of the concerns I have some across are:
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Can you tell me how this compulsory marriage would be enforced and what about the fact that such marriages would not be view as sacramental marriages by the Church.
 
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