Should marry?

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Ortrouvere

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My son has fathered a child out of wedlock.
Does that in essence makes the mother his wife.

what is the churches teaching on this issue?
 
No. It makes them parents, but it doesn’t make them married. They should both go see a priest or deacon to discern what is the right path for them. Age, relationship, and other circumstances would all have to be considered with proper counseling.
 
Ortrouvere said:
My son has fathered a child out of wedlock.
Does that in essence makes the mother his wife.

what is the churches teaching on this issue?
Click to expand...
Merely having had a child together does not constitute marriage in the eyes of the Church. To be married, they would have to go through the Sacrament of Matrimony. They haven’t, so they aren’t married.

As for whether they should get married, it comes down to this: Would they get married if the child had never existed? If not, then the “mere” existence of the child is no reason to get married. In fact, that might be a reason not to get married. The sin (pre-marital sex) has already occurred; marrying won’t erase that (and it won’t erase whatever pain is already coming their way because of it). But, if they get married for the wrong reasons, they and the child will suffer down the road.
 
Ortrouvere said:
My son has fathered a child out of wedlock.
Does that in essence makes the mother his wife.
Click to expand...
No.
Ortrouvere said:
what is the churches teaching on this issue?
Click to expand...
The Church teaches that sex outside of marriage is wrong.

The Church also teaches that marriage is a sacrament and not to be entered into lightly or for the wrong reasons. They need to receive counseling from the priest, commit to chaste behavior, and discern if they are called to marriage.
 
This one is fairly clear cut; premarital sex resulting in a child, does not a married couple make. Nor should making a baby always lead to marriage. Sexually compatible does not mean compatible life partners!

Premarital sex can confuse the bonds… people will think they are in love when they are held together by passionate sex.
 
People might not like this but I think that if your son and his girl friend love each other then their child is a very good reason to get married. People used to get married for this reason in the past and many men have been asked to face up to their responsibility instead of leaving a mother and child alone and just giving them a bit of money. A child needs two fulltime parents and especially women who are single mothers have a much lowered chance of getting married to a decent man after someone else got them pregnant.
So if there is love and care between these two, I’d encourage them to marry. Or
would your son prefer/consider being a single dad and raising the child alone?
 
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