Should my husband and I both convert

[Emily_Hope]

My husband and I have been married for a year. We were both brought up Protestant and while I have attended church all of my life my husband stopped going in his teen years. We have discussed religion (before getting married of course) and we were on the same page until recently. I have always felt a calling to the catholic faith however it has only recently become more prominent in my heart. I feel it pulling at me and I am eager to learn more and soak in everything that I can. I have not discussed this with my husband but I don’t think that he would want to attend mass with me let alone go through RCIA. How do I present this to him? I don’t know how to talk to him about it without one, feeling like I may be judged and two him not being receptive to doing this with me. Would it be bad of me to go forth with what I feel I am being called by God with or without my husband? When we got married I feel as if we became one and I want to respect my husband and do things together but I can’t ignore what I feel God is opening my heart to.

 

[Hatikvah]

My husband and I have been married for a year. We were both brought up Protestant and while I have attended church all of my life my husband stopped going in his teen years. We have discussed religion (before getting married of course) and we were on the same page until recently. I have always felt a calling to the catholic faith however it has only recently become more prominent in my heart. I feel it pulling at me and I am eager to learn more and soak in everything that I can. I have not discussed this with my husband but I don’t think that he would want to attend mass with me let alone go through RCIA. How do I present this to him? I don’t know how to talk to him about it without one, feeling like I may be judged and two him not being receptive to doing this with me.

I don’t want to hold you back or anything, but take careful consideration. Do research, RCIA is surely one such resource in the meantime, and pray for discernment. God transcends denominations! Ask yourself, “how do you feel about [such and such doctrine/practice]?” Many of them are interesting and beautiful, which will help you maintain faith. Are there Catholic churches that you can go to in the area?

Soak in what you can, certainly, and don’t be afraid to ask questions here if you can’t find answers. The community on CAF certainly has knowledge of these things! Remember, Catholicism is Christianity, and it’s not “apostasy” of any sort.

How do you present this to your husband? Well, tell him what separates Catholicism from other forms of Christian practice. What doctrines are interesting? Give him the specific information he’s looking for. The Eucharist is certainly a central theme in the Catholic life.

Go to Mass with your husband, show him the distinct parts of Catholicism that have drawn you to it, talk to a priest, etc.

God bless!

 

[1ke]

If you feel called to the Catholic faith, you can pursue that without your husband pursuing it. There is no requirement that he become Catholic for you to become Catholic.

 

[Hatikvah]

If you feel called to the Catholic faith, you can pursue that without your husband pursuing it. There is no requirement that he become Catholic for you to become Catholic.

Oh, shoot. I knew this, but I forgot to add that.

 

[CatholicRaven]

I would suggest being honest with your husband about your interest in the Catholic faith. Express your desire to learn more and to follow where you feel God is leading you. When you discuss it, be respectful, and though it would be nice if you entered together, don’t expect him to convert if you do (maybe even say so, if appropriate).

He might need time to process his thoughts and feelings about it; if so, be patient and give him space. Maybe he will share your interest, maybe not. That’s okay. Perhaps you may be judged, and he might not be receptive–that may take some patience and humility on your part. Or he might completely support your desire to follow this path right off the bat!

Pray before you speak with him, and ask God for guidance.

You might find some converts’ stories interesting and helpful, such as Rome Sweet Home (Hahn), Surprised by Truth (Madrid, I think), and others.

If you choose to become Catholic, it is not necessary that you both enter the Church together. He also does not have to attend Mass with you (though he would be welcome to do so).

RCIA is intended to give instruction about Church teachings and practices, so even if your husband doesn’t want to join the Church, he’d likely be welcome to sit in on the classes with you, but it’s not required. You might also let him know that taking the RCIA classes is not an obligation to enter the Church–and it’s typically several months of instruction, so you and/or your husband would have plenty of time to discern and pray before making a decision. Check with the parish.

We have to put God first, even above our spouse, and sometimes that is very difficult. And we can still be respectful to our spouse, even if we don’t necessarily agree with them on everything or do everything together. It can be a challenge at times to find that balance. I think a priest could guide you in that area if needed.

Sending a prayer your way!

 

[Catholic1954]

Welcome Home! Sometimes, the Holy Spirit will call one spouse first into the Church, then wait a while and call the other. If you are ready to convert, then you should certainly look into it, inform your husband of your intentions and then let him set the pace on how much/little he wants to be a part of your journey. Invite him to Mass and RCIA, but don’t push it if he is not ready. The most powerful witness you can give him is the example of living your life fully in the Church. And of course, pray, pray, pray; the Holy Spirit will take care of the rest!

 

[jaimeleglise]

If he sees how happy you have become, he may convert, too. God bless you.

 

[ChurchSoldier]

You can invite him to attend RCIA with you just to learn. He would not have to decide to commit to the church until later in the process.

A minor point, one who is already baptized is not technically converting, but joining.

 

[robertmidwest]

I think some quiet prayer is the best thing right now.

You have only been married one year and (from another post) you have a newborn baby. That is enough change for now. Let all this settle out a bit before you add more to the mix.

God is very patient. Use Him as a role model. Prayer and study for now.

 

[KnitNut]

Have you spoken, on your own, with a priest? You might consider asking him for advice. He could suggest some reading materials, a basic prayer rule, perhaps recommend a parish group that you might enjoy (something for moms/babies even). And he might have insight for possible ways to bring this up with your husband in advance of RCIA starting.

I mention this approach because you have a brand new marriage, a brand new baby, and in another thread you mentioned that your husband isn’t coping very well with these new things, already. This might not be the best time to introduce another major change/expectation for him, particularly if he hasn’t been “religious” at all since his teens. You can’t make him have a different relationship with God - the Holy Spirit blows where He wills.

Tread gently. If you and he were on the same page until very recently, and he’s already having a hard time with adjusting to marriage and parenthood, another sudden change may not be well received. Ask the priest. (You might also ask your old pastor, if you’ve been church-going elsewhere until now.)

 

[RPRPsych]

I would suggest being honest with your husband about your interest in the Catholic faith. Express your desire to learn more and to follow where you feel God is leading you. When you discuss it, be respectful, and though it would be nice if you entered together, don’t expect him to convert if you do (maybe even say so, if appropriate).

He might need time to process his thoughts and feelings about it; if so, be patient and give him space. Maybe he will share your interest, maybe not. That’s okay. Perhaps you may be judged, and he might not be receptive–that may take some patience and humility on your part. Or he might completely support your desire to follow this path right off the bat!

Pray before you speak with him, and ask God for guidance.

You might find some converts’ stories interesting and helpful, such as Rome Sweet Home (Hahn), Surprised by Truth (Madrid, I think), and others.

If you choose to become Catholic, it is not necessary that you both enter the Church together. He also does not have to attend Mass with you (though he would be welcome to do so).

RCIA is intended to give instruction about Church teachings and practices, so even if your husband doesn’t want to join the Church, he’d likely be welcome to sit in on the classes with you, but it’s not required. You might also let him know that taking the RCIA classes is not an obligation to enter the Church–and it’s typically several months of instruction, so you and/or your husband would have plenty of time to discern and pray before making a decision. Check with the parish.

We have to put God first, even above our spouse, and sometimes that is very difficult. And we can still be respectful to our spouse, even if we don’t necessarily agree with them on everything or do everything together. It can be a challenge at times to find that balance. I think a priest could guide you in that area if needed.

Sending a prayer your way!

This is an excellent post.

 

[slh3016]

Having been recently where you are, my advice is to:

1. Pray, pray, pray!

And

1. Read, read, read!

It took us 3 years to come into the Church with my husband only being onboard for 1.5 years of that! We fought bitterly for a long time over it and I turned it over to God (and Mary!) I would lie awake at night and pray silently for Mother Mary’s intercession and in no time at all, DH just randomly started asking me where the audios and books were. I stayed silent and kept praying

I can send you a list of resources of you are interested.