Should people get help for SSA? As in a label?

Status
Not open for further replies.
Zerg

Zerg

Active member
Disclaimer: You probably think that I am a troll for all these posts. I feel the need to talk about anything that is relevant, since this is a non judgemental forum:

I read in some random secular quote that it is self-denial to deny coming out as a person with SSA, (not necessarily homosexual.)

I do not like labels, but I think that I would be better adapted to society and acting with more courage. Courage not to act on attractions, but not get offended if people ask if I am gay, or have sympathy to others with the inclination, (if they are out).

Sigh I cry about how lonely I am, how much opportunities I had to make friends, to become an active person, not a bum. It breaks my heart and ego when fellow young people, even past teachers, ignore me in public like “I don’t want to know you”.

I became isolated because of guilt of sin, unfortunately guilt is a wasted emotion—do something about it! In my case, when I was a young teen, I thought confession was good enough. It is not. I needed to meditate on scripture, build character by being with or serving people around me, and most importantly, ADMIT my pride, that I am denying myself of dignity, by admitting my SSA. I cannot bear the thought of a young person rejecting empathy from others and turning into an unattractive depressive shadow—very selfish.

Pride gets in the way with change. What is shocking to me is that 90% of people with a problem are NOT arrogant, rather they are thankful for an intervention. Mentioning myself again, the core of my problem is actually a personality disorder, which manifests itself in this way.

“One is not a disgrace for having committed crimes, however one is a disgrace for staying a criminal.” Malcom X
 
What do you mean? Like a psychiatric label under personality disorders? (e.g. Schizoid, borderline etc)
 
You should be able to openly and honestly talk about your trials and tribulations. If that cross is same sex attraction, you should be able to talk about that. There is nothing brave or wise about bottling it up.
 
I don’t think anything is served by a young person in their pre-teens or teens slapping a label on themselves.

ATM, the best help you can give to anybody is to speak the truth in love and maintain the relationship with that person in a God-honoring fashion.
 
Thank you for all your replies and encouragement.

I find what helps is praying throughout the day. Also asking the saints and Mary for their intercession.

Please pray for people with SSA. That they may not be tempted by Satan to do things against God’s will. Doing things God’s way is the ONLY way to do things.

God is love.
 
Is there an age when it becomes appropriate? Do we know the age of the OP?
I’m almost 27, and I’m certainly not going to wake up straight tomorrow.
I would say I’m gay, but a lot of Catholics think its somehow wrong to not use the term “SSA”. Which basically no one would recognize anyways.

Anyways, I could just tell someone.
“Hey are you interested in any girls right now?”
“Hey, have you ever thought about the priesthood” - says random old parishoner.

“Well, no, I’m attracted to men, so that would be an impossibility for me”. I could say in either situation. Spares me from a lot.
 
You have to understand, I’m not real big on labels.
But if a 27 year old tells me their gay, then I’ll take at face value that they’re not attracted to the opposite sex.
If an 11 year old tells me, then my response depends on my relationship with the kid and their parents, but I’ll secretly “wait and see”
 
Dylansdad said:
I don’t know why Catholicism felt it needed to make up a euphemism for being gay, i.e., “Same Sex Attracted”.
Click to expand...
I’m not sure I would call it a euphemism, because it explains exactly what it is.

But to put it in a historical context, homosexual relations were always considered a type of activity, but it wasn’t until Freud that “homosexual” became a type of person.
 
Sin is a disorder. Striving for Holiness is about getting one’s soul in order.
 
Dylansdad said:
. If a person is gay, they know it as well as the average person knows they are heterosexual.
Click to expand...
This would not be the experience of a number of my SSA friends. They were only able to admit it to themselves well past their teenage years.

What is your source for saying the Cath choice invented the euphemism SSA.
Surely “gay” is the euphemism…it did not mean SSA when I was a child…that meaning was added by those in the know and so gay is in fact the oroginal euphemism for SSA. In my country it originally applied only to male SSA. So SSA is the more accurate, neutral and non euphemistic word I would think.
Dylansdad said:
But I guess the Church wants people to not identify with their gay sexual orientation whereas the Church actively encourages people to identify with their heterosexual orientation
Click to expand...
The Church currently teaches no such thing nor the reverse for heterosexuals unless you have a Vatican document to reference? Obviously groups of the less educated faithful may well give you that impression…as happens in any large institution.
As far as I am aware the Church teaches us to be honest, and that begins with ourselves.

The Church does not actually teach that sex outside Catholic marriage is personally sinful. It teaches that this is disordered conduct and, dependent on conditions, may be seriously sinful. If one has a SSA then the latter is obviously far less likely. Have a read of Pope Francis Amoris Laetitia 297 to 305 on this point.
He is with you. (BTW The Church also teaches that Catholic marriage doesnt allow for open sex slather by heteros just because you are safely married either. The issue is all about behaving in accord with the true nature of things. Obvously that devolves down to what exactly is “nature” and how far can we miss the mark without personally severing our relationship with God).
My youngest brother was always a sissy boy as a child. He loved my sister’s doll house, dolls and other toys oriented for girls. He hated sports … In fact, a recent study showed that many gay men, when given MRI’s, appear to have female brains!
Click to expand...
I believe you are confusing two different genetic/developmental issues re your explanation of your brother. You are describing gender dysphoria (ie transgender) with SSA. Your brother clearly had a female brain (ie ways of dressing, acting and effeminancies)…yet attraction is another issue often separate from “gender” (gender is psychological, “sex” is biological genitals).
It just so happened that he was also attracted to males.

So there are 4 combinations of gender and attraction.
Meaning you can have genital males who are very maculine and like men too. Also genital females who are very masculine and still like men.
Therefore if we include genital sex organs we get three variables (sex, gender and orientation) we get 8 different types of likely genetically based types.

BTW I dont believe science has yet clearly been able to distinguish brains on the basis of gender so I wouldnt phsh that line too much. It may be about more than brains…perhaps hormone systems as well
 
Last edited:
Let me try my hand at mediating here, as I would say I fit into the camp of being Catholic and Gay, or having SSA.

I don’t think following the Church as a gay man automatically leads someone to an unhappy life. I think someone can be happy as a faithfully practicing Catholic while also being gay or having SSA, whichever term you prefer. I don’t think anyone is condemning your brother in this discussion. I’m not, and I’m a gay man.

It’s a big step to being gay and having sexual feelings for other men to then being a priest that abuses children. I think you’re making a bit of a jump. You’re falling into the idea that gay men that don’t have sex that become clergy are bound to become pedophiles, and that’s a really flawed way of looking at things. Not to mention I don’t think that’s entirely accurate.

As someone that is gay and entering the Catholic Church, I can disagree with your brother for his sins but I can respect that he’s a person that’s capable of making his own life choices. I just would ask that you in kind respect the choices of gay people like myself that choose not to act on their sexuality. We don’t have to agree with the choices we make, but we do have to respect that each person has the free will to make their own choices in life.
 
And for the record, the Catholic Church doesn’t say that being gay or having SSA is in itself sinful. The Church is actually very sympathetic to those people, like me. The only thing that would go into the realm of being sinful would be acting upon that sexuality.
 
Well, I’m not Michael Voris. I can’t answer for him or why he does what he does. And it’s not my place to tell other people whether they’re happy or not. I’m a gay man and I don’t have shame for the way that I am, and that’s all I can speak to.

You don’t have to be hostile with me, I’ve shown you respect in this conversation and I haven’t done anything to demean you.
 
Yeah, I wouldn’t want an 11 year old to think that either. But, like I said, it seems rather off-topic to me. Is the OP a teenager? You’re the only one talking about teenagers and these labels.

I do agree completely with your comments to Dylansdad btw.
 
For me, I’m trying to live in a community of lay people. Yes, the 2nd option you list is a big fear of mine. But, I think that’s only a failure of our society and culture. Have people always lived only alone or with families? Have you seen Downton Abbey? Back in those days it was much more common to not marry, and they’re living with all those people (I’m referring to Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes), who, although they did eventually get married, were pretty sure that they’d live the single life their entire lives.
  1. I think its just bad for you to be focusing so much on Michael Voris. I think its good that Michael Voris is following the Church’s teaching. I think that he’s a rather unusual and unrelatable case, bc he’s a talking head. Like Milo Yionnopoulis. I think just being in that world leads people to weird places in their lives.
Did they baptize their child? And raise him to be Catholic? Because if not, then they’ve raised a pagan. You have to be baptized to be a Christian. So, I wouldn’t commend them on their parenting job if they haven’t. Furthermore, we are all called to be saints. We are called to serve God, who is Holy. Be Ye Holy for I the Lord God am Holy. That is a characteristic of God that we learn in Leviticus. That is His reasoning for the many laws in that book. Be Ye Holy, for I am Holy.

Are there many happy gay people living the Church’s teaching? Maybe not. But, the Church can always improve, and I think most people in the Church WANT to improve in this area. The “gay culture” only reared its head recently. I think the fruits of the gay culture speak for itself.

I read a study that something like 70% of gay couples are open to having a threesome. So, I can’t speak for your son and his husband. But, do you think the Church would approve of a heterosexual married couple doing that? Absolutely not. The “monogomous” nature of most gay relationships just isn’t the same.
Here is a study: 41% of 1,000 gay couples surveyed are either currently or have in the past been in an open relationship.


Be Ye Holy for I am Holy.
 
I was not being hostile to you. I used the post to you to tell the people here that I find it reprehensible that someone reported my initial post so it would be deleted. If that is what stands for Catholic behavior, then I am in the wrong place. If you do not agree with someone, you do not run to the administrator and demand they remove it. Pathetic.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top