Should this bother me?

[foundmyfaith]

Just read this the other day. You might find it helpful.
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=806747&highlight=agoraphobia

Thanks A LOT for that. Quite honestly, it embarrasses me so much I haven’t talked much about it. My goal is to be able to go back. I wrote about this is another thread, asking for prayers and another poster gave me some ideas to ease back in. Also, it might be time to talk to my doc about a medication adjustment. Something has to give.

 

[Cathy_Crossbuck]

Don’t be too hard on yourself about missing Mass because of agoraphobia. My mum suffered from agoraphobia and it manifested itself at different levels of severity over time. There were times when she couldn’t go out to the mail box or clothes line, let alone the store or to Mass. Other times she did fairly well as long as dad was with her for support (and for help making a quick get away if needed). Later in life she was very functional. I wouldn’t say cured because I think it she was never cured, just managed better. Then she was able to travel almost normally, even to visit family out of state. But for many years, she couldn’t go to Mass. We had a wonderful parish priest who reassured her that missing Mass for this reason was like missing for any other illness. It is surprising now, because back in the 60’s when I was growing up there was very little understanding of phobias and panic attacks. It grieved her not to be able to go, but later she was able to go to Mass regularly again. I am confident that she is now being well rewarded for her faith and compensated the grief and suffering she endured while she was alive.

Anyway, I just want to let you know that you are not alone and that there are people who understand what you are going through. Don’t judge yourself to harshly, know and accept your limitations and may God bless you.

 

[CB_Catholic]

When I made my first confession after 11 or so years, I had some serious doozies to confess. A ton of Mortal sins, a bucketful of venial sins. I am pretty sure that i was technically excommunicated for one of them. I am sure you can imagine after 11 years what that amounted to.

My son had just died and I had felt like God was calling me back for over a year before that. I guess He knew how much I would be needing Him. He absolved me, but my Penance was weird.

He asked me what I liked to do for fun or relaxation. I told him, and then he told me to go do it right now. I asked about a more conventional penance, and he told me that it wasn’t necessary.

I don’t feel absolved. I mean, I know I AM. I am not scrupulous at all. It just seemed like a strange way to do it.

Any thoughts?

I received the exact same penance once from a priest who told me I took life too seriously. I reacted as you did at first, but then realized that the penance was exactly what I needed at that time. God often speaks to people through the priests in the Confessional. That penance did me a lot of good because it made me think about how I was living my life and some changes that had to be made. I realized I was not enjoying my life.

BTW, the absolution is not tied to the penance. You were absolved when he spoke the words of absolution. Priests do not always give penances, some penances take a while to complete, but one is still absolved.

 

[EasterJoy]

As I said, I know I was absolved, it just didn’t seem like a pedicure was a great penance for 11 years worth of sins. I just did what he said and left it alone. The last confession I made had about the same penance, very light. (Though i admittedly had very little to confess) I just went home and prayed my regular Rosary.

I will start researching indulgences. Thank you.

Review the story of the Prodigal Son, please!

First off, if you break a window and you’re forgiven, the relationship is mended but the window is still broken. You still have the work of addressing the temporal results (the resulting broken glass) of the sins you confessed, just as when the Prodigal Son returned he had to cope with the truth that half of his father’s estate was gone because of his waywardness. If we look at it that way, that is plenty to keep us busy, without tacking on extra, if our confessor decides that. Secondly, doing penance is part of daily life for Christians: penance, almsgiving, and prayer. There is nothing stopping us from doing penance, provided that we observe the proscribed feast days as we ought to do.

I am very glad to hear you did what your confessor directed you to do. If your confessor tells you to go out and slaughter the fatted calf because the Church is glad you are back, that is what you are to do. You have to swallow any embarrassment you may have over leaving and accept the welcome! Then you get back to work at being a good son, doing what you can to replace what you squandered by leaving. If your confessor decides that is penance enough, then that is penance enough. The idea, after all, is not to beat you up for returning. The idea is to get you back…really back. If you come back with a full heart, do not fear that you have not done enough. That isn’t the way this Father’s estate operates. You hadn’t earned your place in the Church before you left, and you won’t earn it upon returning. We are just to live in gratitude for the loving home we’ve been given, and welcome all who come there for shelter.