Should we confess our struggles and tendencies?

[ianskielem]

I came across a comment for a good confession. Other points are already familiar. What got me curious is the item that says “Never confess your tendencies or struggles, only committed sins.”

So, should we confess our struggles and tendencies aside from our sins already committed?

I am kind of confused on what could be wrong with confessing struggles? or maybe tendencies?

Or is that point for good confession wrong?

 

[edward_george]

Confession is of sins. Struggles and tendencies are not, of themselves, sins. They may be a temptation to sin or weaken us so that we are more vulnerable to temptation and to fall into sin, but of themselves they are not sins. Confession is not spiritual direction, nor is it counseling. If you need to talk about something you struggle with, you should set up a meeting with the priest outside of confession. If you do struggle with habitual sin, of course, confess the sins you have committed. For instance, if you struggle with masturbation habitually, confess the times you have committed the sin since the last confession, and perhaps mention that you struggle with this habitually. But for actually working on the struggle, spiritual direction or counsel is more appropriate. Confession is for the forgiveness of sins.

ACEGC

 

[RedFox0456]

You wouldn’t confess a struggle as a sin unless you have acted on it, but please don’t think that means you should never talk about your struggles or tendencies. That is simply something you would probably want to discuss with your pastor or spiritual director.

 

[chimo]

I came across a comment for a good confession. Other points are already familiar. What got me curious is the item that says “Never confess your tendencies or struggles, only committed sins.”

So, should we confess our struggles and tendencies aside from our sins already committed?

I am kind of confused on what could be wrong with confessing struggles? or maybe tendencies?

Or is that point for good confession wrong?

I find that when my son is explaining to me his wrong he needs to say something about his struggles and yes even tendencies as well if I am to understand him better. While Confession was taught to acknowledge sins only it seems we leave too much out as well. There is this tendency only to confess your sins in Church. But what about when you are hurt and you are on the end of a hurt, at the end of someone who has sinned against you. Why does the Church only deal with sins that we only commit? There was someone who wanted to go to Confession so the person asked why? She gave out her story and the person said “You do not need to go to Confession for this but your husband needs to.” The problem with so many of us we are told to confess our sins and we cannot talk about our own hurts. Perhaps the Church needs to look at this so that the person will know the difference and have the fullness of healing imparted to them. I do not think having a separate appointment to deal with particular hurts is the right way to go. Having to deal with them when you are young in Confession will be a better way to deal with them. There is too much confusion when someone has to address only sins and not to deal with other struggles because they need another appointment. Deal all of this at this one moment. Eventually because the young person is becoming more accepted and understanding than the person has more responsibility to bring just sins to the Sacrament.

 

[FelicityC]

chimo, I think you bring up a lot of good points. I personally have a really hard time with confession sometimes, and since I converted, I’ve found myself drifting in and out of the Church, because in my case, many of my sins are inextricably tied up with past traumas. I have PTSD, and I cannot separate the two. The doubts, distrust, anger, despair, and a lot more, are proportionate to how I’m doing in my journey of healing. When I’m triggered or something happens to bring up old junk, I start to spiral. Confessing only committed sins does not work for my spiritual good, but sometimes actually seems to precipitate the darker times. The times I have brought up all of it in confession, I’ve found I benefited far more spiritually as well as psychologically (not committing sins, doing good, etc).

 

[UpUpAndAway]

chimo, I think you bring up a lot of good points. I personally have a really hard time with confession sometimes, and since I converted, I’ve found myself drifting in and out of the Church, because in my case, many of my sins are inextricably tied up with past traumas. I have PTSD, and I cannot separate the two. The doubts, distrust, anger, despair, and a lot more, are proportionate to how I’m doing in my journey of healing. When I’m triggered or something happens to bring up old junk, I start to spiral. Confessing only committed sins does not work for my spiritual good, but sometimes actually seems to precipitate the darker times. The times I have brought up all of it in confession, I’ve found I benefited far more spiritually as well as psychologically (not committing sins, doing good, etc).

Perhaps having a spiritual director would be beneficial for you. Spiritual direction is where I work on overcoming my imperfections. Confession is where I seek absolution for the actions I take as a result of those imperfections and where I receive the grace to help me avoid those actions in the future. The two are related, but they aren’t the same thing. This is why I keep them separate.

 

[ianskielem]

So for example, is hating a certain set of people a sin or a struggle?
Is racism that you feel without acting upon it a sin or a struggle?

Not that I have them. Just an example that is abundant nowadays.

They aren’t temptation anymore right?