Should we go swimming together?

[Sarahconvert05]

Hi everyone! A question to do with chastity and appropriate boundaries.

I’m just wondering if it’s ok to go swimming with my boyfriend. I know swim-wear is totally acceptable socially and I really like swimming, but the thing is it is so much more revealing than normal clothes. Would it be appropriate for him to see me wearing so little? It is a swimsuit, not a skimpy bikini!

We’ve had our problems in the past with chastity that we’re trying to put behind us so maybe that affects it. I mean, for me this would not be an occasion of temptation… I don’t find anything ‘sexy’ about the whole swimming/swim-wear scenario (lol), but maybe for him it would be a problem? I asked him and he just said he was sure we could cope!

My boyfriend thinks I’m being a bit spoil-sport about this, and partly I think I may be being over-cautious, what’s the advice on here? Thanks very much!

 

[allhers]

I think it would be alright if its alright with your parents. I also wouldn’t go looking for some isolated spot on a beach but rather go to a public swimming pool or at least a place on the beach where plently of other people were around. You already said that its just a swimming suit not something out of the ordianary trying to be sexy so I would expect that would be alright. Afterall, that is what swimming suits are made for, swimming.

 

[Sarahconvert05]

Thanks for the reply. It’s fine with my parents, but then again they’re not Catholic so have a different perspective. I’ll take your advice though and go swimming as long as it’s with others around. It’s not like I think we would lose control, I just don’t want to send out any mixed signals at all or make things difficult for him.

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

**What about wearing board shorts over your one piece suit? That is about the most you could cover up and still be socially acceptable and it might help remove some of the temptation for your boyfriend.

If he says he can handle it, tell him that you trust him. But also tell him that he needs to be honest with you (and himself) and stop going swimming with you IF it leads to inappropriate behaviors and/or feelings.

Wow, I sound OLD, lol… I’m only 31… I swear**

 

[ladylinguist]

If it’s the modesty of swimwear that you’re worried about there are options. Obviously you can choose a one piece over a bikini. If even that shows too much skin for your taste, you can always try board shorts and a tankini. It’s pretty easy to find knee length board shorts and most tankini’s cover about as much as the usual tank top. Plus less skin to worry about sunburn on!

 

[kage_ar]

Another suggestion for board shorts. In fact, I think every woman should wear these - you are not worrying about pulling the suit down every time you jump out of the water - you are more modest AND comfortable.

 

[surfinpure]

…and yet another suggestion for board shorts. Having read about men’s tendency to look right at a certain area, I am now never at the pool or the beach without them!

Also, if you decided to go swimming together, I would refrain from excessive touching. Before my conversion when I had boyfriends, this was a serious occasion of sin for us. The temptation to hug or hang on one another or just “horseplay” a little too closely was very strong. So if either of you has trouble keeping their hands off the other, I’d advise against it. When swimwear is on, it’s very easy to cross a boundary.

 

[sandraladeda]

Just adding to the excellent advice above, you can also minimize temptation by wearing a t-shirt or swimsut coverup right until you go into the water, and then, after you get out of the water, you can towel off quickly and put the t-shirt or coverup back on s fast as possible. This will help you to maintain the maximum of modesty.

imo