Should we go to mass to appease our parents?

[GraceDK]

I was thinking last night about how nice it would be to have family that would encourage me to go to mass every Sunday when I asked my self weather being forced to go to mass is really a good thing.

I was reading the gospel of Matthew last week where Jesus says, “When you give alms, do not blow a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets to win the praise of others. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward.” And I asked myself, “Is it better to goto mass to appease my family or to not goto mass and to fall into sin and soon hit rock bottom and start building my life up again on the rock of Christ?” I think the latter is the best choice but I think it would be great if I had some holy examples in my life.

This is just a few thoughts I had last night and I thought I’d pass them on.

God Bless,

Why dont you want to go to Mass?
Of couse your state of mind is not good… for the simple reason that it seems obvious that if you go to Mass for your parents sake then you dont go for Jesus.
I dont believe in force when it comes to religion. Neither do I believe it appropriate to call it death-sin because someone does not attend Sunday Mass.
What is sin? Ask Jesus. Jesus says: “Sin is that you have not believed in me”.
So… I tell you… Jesus is the best thing that ever ever happend to me. I hit rock botton many times… when you are very young you think that somehow everything will be alright but as you get a little bit older you discover that its actually possible for YOU to mess up your life to a point where it will never be the same, where you can’t get back all the good stuff you used to have and where you simply end up failing at life.
Don’t go there.
Instead. Are you bored at Mass? Then find another Church where you are not bored at Mass. Yes, I talk about finding a parish where there is 1) a priest who can PREACH and 2) a fellowship that really knows what “church” means.
Ask Jesus to change your life and transform you. Invite Him to be the Boss… and you will see some changes happening.
Christ is calling you closer to Him… He wants you to wake up from your sleep… He wants you to thirst now, not so that you skrew up your life but so that you move to another place or position where you can see the fullness of the life He calls you to live.

He is awesome.
One more thing I have found: We live much for human relations… but if God is not in these relations they are empty and unfulfilling.

Many young people are bored at Church… they need to get out and find their own parish, their own relationship with Christ. He does not want some sleepy disciple. He calls us to be heroes that change the world into a better and more holy place.
Are you up for the challenge?

Grace:thumbsup:

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

In my opinion, I don’t think that it is a good idea to just go to mass because you want to please your parents or any other reasons which doesn’t include you yourself wanting to do it in your own will and liking… I think it is much more fulfilling to feel that you want and yearn to go to mass not just because you need to because of your parents…

Parents have an obligation as first teachers of their children toward their children’s spiritual formation. Even if somebody is 19 or 27 and living at home, if Mom and dad think it’s a good idea to go to Mass- it’s a good idea.

Fulfilling and feelings don’t enter into it. Honor and respect do.

And it’s maybe an hour out of a person’s life! An hour to make Mom and Dad feel good? You can’t spare your parents one little hour?

 

[GraceDK]

Parents have an obligation as first teachers of their children toward their children’s spiritual formation. Even if somebody is 19 or 27 and living at home, if Mom and dad think it’s a good idea to go to Mass- it’s a good idea.

Fulfilling and feelings don’t enter into it. Honor and respect do.

And it’s maybe an hour out of a person’s life! An hour to make Mom and Dad feel good? You can’t spare your parents one little hour?

I disagree with this approach.
It has become some kind of mantra in certain Catholic circles that you must not talk about feelings as a huge motivation… but thats just what they are. We feel because God created us to feel. It must be possible to find a church where all these things are allowed and fulfilled: both feelings, honour, respect and being happy your self while others are happy too.
Otherwise we set our standards too low.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

There are many, many things I do in a day that I don’t like to do. I hate to do dishes. They make me feel badly, based on things that happened as a child. Yet, I wash (and dry) the dishes. Why? If don’t, nobody else is going to do them.

I don’t like to housework. If I don’t do it, nobody else is going to do it, unless I suddenly get gifted and hire a maid.

I lived with my parents as an adult for a bit. My mother never told me I had to go to Mass with her, but she did ask me WHEN I was going to Mass, and expected me to go. Of all the things she expected, it was very small. I could have BS’d her, just picked up the bulletin. I could have said I went, and then not gone, but driven around for an hour and fifteen minutes. But to fight over a lousy hour of worshipping God? Come on.

 

[Charybdis]

Well, having to go to Mass just to please your parents is building a foundation. I was expected to go with my parents when I was little. As I grew older and became a teen, I didn’t even think about it anymore, I just went and knew that is what I was supposed to do.

Once I left home and am now an adult, I questioned things, learned more about my faith and have fully embraced my relationship with God and am striving to do the best I can each and every day in my walk with Christ.

One of the things I’m convinced everyone needs to do is find out about the Mass and what is truly happening up at that altar. I listened to Fr. Larry Richard’s talk, “The Mass Explained” and I think it did wonders for me! I highly recommend it to anyone who wonders why we do what we do in the Mass and what it’s all about.

 

[drafdog]

Your parents think you should go to mass; the church insists that you *must *go to mass. But the most important part of all of this is that *you *want to give praise to God, and the easiest way to do it is to go to mass.
Do what you want to do: praise and thank God. Go to mass because it’s a great way to do it. I agree that going because there is a law compelling you to go or because your folks think you should go is a poor reason for going. Go because it’s really what you want to do.

Matthew

 

[LilyM]

I disagree with this approach.
It has become some kind of mantra in certain Catholic circles that you must not talk about feelings as a huge motivation… but thats just what they are. We feel because God created us to feel. It must be possible to find a church where all these things are allowed and fulfilled: both feelings, honour, respect and being happy your self while others are happy too.
Otherwise we set our standards too low.

Really? Where would we be if Jesus had decided not to be crucified because it didn’t make Him feel good or happy?

He told us to take up our crosses and follow Him if we would be His disciples, so we must necessarily expect that some of our Christian duties won’t be pleasant or make us feel good and must learn to do them anyway.

 

[mizznicole]

I want to disagree slightly. I grew up in a house where we were expected to attend Sunday mass, but had no teaching or family prayer outside of that time. I can’t tell you how damaging that was to my relationship with the Church. (Especially since the parish we attended was very liberal.)

If only SOMEONE had taught me the faith and opened the mass to me at a younger age–someone with LIVING faith–my life would not have been the same. I would have been spared a lot of sorrow.

I went through Confirmation specifically to appease my parents. The preparation process was a joke, and just turned me off even more from the Church. But I am glad, 15 years later, that I went through with it because those graces remain with me.

I will say that being spared from sin is a VERY good thing. But you have to put something positive in there too to raise a holy child.

BTW, the holiest people I know are converts from bad lives. They are humbled. But they wouldn’t want their kids to follow their path for anything in the world. Same with me.

 

[mercygate]

I was thinking last night about how nice it would be to have family that would encourage me to go to mass every Sunday when I asked my self weather being forced to go to mass is really a good thing.

I was reading the gospel of Matthew last week where Jesus says, “When you give alms, do not blow a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets to win the praise of others. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward.” And I asked myself, “Is it better to goto mass to appease my family or to not goto mass and to fall into sin and soon hit rock bottom and start building my life up again on the rock of Christ?” I think the latter is the best choice but I think it would be great if I had some holy examples in my life.

This is just a few thoughts I had last night and I thought I’d pass them on.

God Bless,

This isn’t about Mass. It’s about your family dynamic. At age 28, the word “appease” should not be in your vocabulary.

Is English your first language?

 

[Chancellare]

It may be a consolation to know that you are pleasing the right people when you go to Mass, EVEN if you’re “forced to”.
If you do otherwise it would be the devil who would be pleased, EVEN if you are not forced to.