H
Heidi_Jaramillo
Guest
Hello,
Eight years ago I married into a Catholic/Lutheran family. At first they seemed loving and kind. Very committed to each other and the “family”. But then a different face showed. They began to verbally belittle minorities, other families, every daughter-in-law, a son-in-law, and a father-in law…Their complaints seem designed to undermine each marriage. An example of this: my mother-in-law told my husband that I was “bad for his relationship with them, and his children”, but could not give one reason why…Very frustrating and unfixable…
Not only do these parents belittle/abuse others, but my husband recently shared that between his father, brother, and sister he was abused in every way as a child/teenager… Despite this, he forgave and continued in relationship with them all. However; when my husband saw them start to belittle/abuse me, he drew a line. He asked them to stop, behave respectfully, or he would not continue in relationship with them. His parents got very angry and denied any abuse; while his sister, although she admits the abuse, simply said we should ignor it…
My husband and I have withdrawn from this family to a large extent, but it is not easy. We truly wish for peace and harmony…We have tried to start fresh, invited them to holidays, birthdays…but they will not reunite until we admit to wrongdoing and go back to ignoring the bad treatment. Should we ignor the abuse since they are old and we should honor our parents?
Sincerely,
Heidi
Eight years ago I married into a Catholic/Lutheran family. At first they seemed loving and kind. Very committed to each other and the “family”. But then a different face showed. They began to verbally belittle minorities, other families, every daughter-in-law, a son-in-law, and a father-in law…Their complaints seem designed to undermine each marriage. An example of this: my mother-in-law told my husband that I was “bad for his relationship with them, and his children”, but could not give one reason why…Very frustrating and unfixable…
Not only do these parents belittle/abuse others, but my husband recently shared that between his father, brother, and sister he was abused in every way as a child/teenager… Despite this, he forgave and continued in relationship with them all. However; when my husband saw them start to belittle/abuse me, he drew a line. He asked them to stop, behave respectfully, or he would not continue in relationship with them. His parents got very angry and denied any abuse; while his sister, although she admits the abuse, simply said we should ignor it…
My husband and I have withdrawn from this family to a large extent, but it is not easy. We truly wish for peace and harmony…We have tried to start fresh, invited them to holidays, birthdays…but they will not reunite until we admit to wrongdoing and go back to ignoring the bad treatment. Should we ignor the abuse since they are old and we should honor our parents?
Sincerely,
Heidi