Should we in good conscience attend court marriages of catholics?

[HomeschoolDad]

But I would still not go witness the de facto removal, you could say, of one of my descendants from the Catholic Church

I’m not “moving any goalposts”. I would not attend any ceremony which blesses the invalid marriage of a Catholic or their defection from the Faith. Neither would I attend the schismatic baptism of a grandchild whose parents, one of whom is my son, have left the Church. I don’t bless people leaving the Church.

Just for the record, if this grandchild of mine were being confirmed as a young adult, I would reluctantly attend the ceremony and give as generous a gift as I could.

The “reluctance” would be in my own mind. I would not be haranguing my grandchild over a free decision they made as an adult (i.e., no longer an infant, below the age of reason). It’s not their fault they were raised outside the Catholic Church. But any grandchild of mine would know I am a Catholic, and that it matters to me, and why it matters. If the parents got their noses out of joint, that would be on them.

 

[TC3033]

Neither would I attend the schismatic baptism of a grandchild whose parents, one of whom is my son, have left the Church.

That’s kinda what I’m getting at. I don’t think we’re talking about a parent/child deal here.

I’m sorry to hear that you wouldn’t attend the baptism of an acquaintance’s child in a non-Catholic setting if you were to have been invited.

The “reluctance” would be in my own mind. I would not be haranguing my grandchild over a free decision they made as an adult

TBH, I’d wonder if you’d be invited…seeing you wouldn’t attend the baptism.

If the parents got their noses out of joint, that would be on them.

So be it, but I’ve read on here many times…when the shoe is on the other foot…the grandparents should keep their nose out of it. I guess it depends on whose goose is being gored.

 

[HomeschoolDad]

Neither would I attend the schismatic baptism of a grandchild whose parents, one of whom is my son, have left the Church.

I didn’t say that. I would attend such a baptism if neither parent were Catholic. If one or both of them were fallen-away Catholic, I’d have to think about it. It clearly wouldn’t be the child’s fault. I was talking about my own family here.

 

[TC3033]

Fair enough, but that does come back to my point on moving the posts…we don’t even know if we’re talking about family here, specifically going back to when asked if you would attend the non-Catholic baptism (were it to happen in this case).

 

[VanitasVanitatum]

So be it, but I’ve read on here many times…when the shoe is on the other foot…the grandparents should keep their nose out of it. I guess it depends on whose goose is being gored.

What do you mean?

 

[JulianN]

But any grandchild of mine would know I am a Catholic, and that it matters to me, and why it matters. If the parents got their noses out of joint, that would be on them.

I had this happen with my children and in-laws. My husband had left the Methodist faith of his family, and our children were being raised as Catholics. My in-laws felt it was necessary to explain the importance of being Protestant to my first-born. I, as you said, got my nose out of joint— and let them know that continuing those conversations would result in no unsupervised time with grandchildren.

I think the same response might be warranted if you engaged in the same behavior.

 

[TC3033]

Read the post above ^^^. I’ve read the same story from Catholic parents coming on here worried that their non-Catholic parents (grandparents) will push or "let them know " why their non-Catholic denomination is important or that they may “sneak in” anti Catholic gifts.

It’s usually met with the grandparents should keep their nose out of it. i know I would have an issue if my in-laws talked down to my kids because I’m not Catholic.

 

[HomeschoolDad]

But any grandchild of mine would know I am a Catholic, and that it matters to me, and why it matters. If the parents got their noses out of joint, that would be on them.

Read the post above ^^^. I’ve read the same story from Catholic parents coming on here worried that their non-Catholic parents (grandparents) will push or "let them know " why their non-Catholic denomination is important or that they may “sneak in” anti Catholic gifts.

It’s usually met with the grandparents should keep their nose out of it. i know I would have an issue if my in-laws talked down to my kids because I’m not Catholic.

OK, understood, some good points made. There is no easy answer. Many years ago, I had to watch Catholic grandparents, friends of ours, go through their own private agony, watching their grandchildren raised as Jehovah’s Witnesses after their son left the Faith. The father and I sat on a park bench one day and he sighed “I don’t know what happened”. They would bring gifts around Christmastime but scatter them throughout the season so that they weren’t expressly “Christmas” gifts and could be accepted. Thankfully, the family later came out of that sect, but not soon enough for the grandparents to know anything about it — they’re gone now. Sad.

 

[rangerdillon]

I always wonder if a Catholic judge can morally conduct a civil wedding.

 

[JulianN]

Yes. Marriage is not only a Catholic construct.