Should we let our children believe in Santa?

[Brendan_64]

I also think that Santa Claus is a good way for parents to give to their children while at the same time not expect their children to thank them as a result. Giving is always better for the giver (I think anyway) when the receiver is not obliged to give anything back to the giver, not evens thanks or gratitude. ‘Santa Claus’ helps parents engage in an act of unconditional giving.

I once knew a lady who, right from the start, told her children that Santa didn’t exist and that it was Mummy and Daddy who bought them their Christmas presents. Her reasoning was that she wanted the children to learn to be grateful for what is given to them in life. I could see her point of view, but to me it just didn’t seem right.

 

[Baelor]

Telling your wife she looks pretty when you don’t really believe she does in that moment is also lying. I suspect we lie a lot more than we think we do. Telling God we love Him with all our hearts and souls, and telling Him how thankful we are, when clearly our actions show we do not actually do those things, is a lie, technically.

Why should the fact that we are all sinners excuse further sins?

 

[Greg_N]

When I was young I held my beliefs with conviction, mind you, I wasn’t easily led (and didn’t always do what I was told) but I would internally retain a profound respect for everything my parents told me. When I discovered that I was lied to about Santa (I was 10/11 at the time), my entire world came crashing down… I still remember the precise moment it happened… I felt physically sick… It broke my heart.

Not only is it a lie, but it is one which obscures a child’s reality.

Also, the account of the historic Saint Nicholas is not the ‘Santa Clause’ of popular culture, do not equate the two.

 

[Brendan_64]

Why should the fact that we are all sinners excuse further sins?

It is not about having a list of rules to obey with one of them being “Thou shalt not lie” and then us, as Christians being bound simply to follow them. The intention of such an act is what matter, not the technicality of whether a particular rule can be shown to be broken.

As Christians, we are not bound by the OLD Testament Covenant and all the associated laws etc, We are bound by the Covenant of Christ who told us that, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the law and the prophets”. Loving your neighbour takes precedent over list of rules.

Telling your children that Santa exists, may be a mistruth and may technically break a rule, but insisting that it is a sin is way over the top. It is (usually) an act of love from a parent towards their child. But if in doubt ask your priest about when you’re next at Confession.

 

[Frank_Drebin]

Why should the fact that we are all sinners excuse further sins?

I’m just saying that you are lying when you say that. So should we not say it to avoid the lie?

 

[Skye_Ariel]

Why do people make such a big deal out of it? I don’t understand why it’s such a big deal. Telling kids about Santa Claus is not lying, just tell the kids it was a game. I don’t see how people say their world was destroyed when they found out about Santa Claus, when I found out it wasn’t that big of a deal at all, I understood it was a game for kids. That’s how I see it, a harmless traditional game parents play to make Christmas special for kids. No need to blow it all out of proportion and say it made you not believe in God and turned your world upside down etc.

I’m glad I had a chance to believe in Santa and I think parents who take that away from their kids are making them miss out on something special. Kids need things like that, there’s plenty of time for them to learn about the hard facts of reality but when they are little, let them be kids and enjoy magical things etc. Of course the kids who’s parents don’t let them believe in Santa will seem happy because that’s all they know, they don’t know what they are missing.

 

[Brendan_64]

Kids need things like that, there’s plenty of time for them to learn about the hard facts of reality but when they are little, let them be kids and enjoy magical things etc.

 

[thewanderer]

Why do people make such a big deal out of it? I don’t understand why it’s such a big deal. Telling kids about Santa Claus is not lying, just tell the kids it was a game. I don’t see how people say their world was destroyed when they found out about Santa Claus, when I found out it wasn’t that big of a deal at all, I understood it was a game for kids. That’s how I see it, a harmless traditional game parents play to make Christmas special for kids. No need to blow it all out of proportion and say it made you not believe in God and turned your world upside down etc.

I’m glad I had a chance to believe in Santa and I think parents who take that away from their kids are making them miss out on something special. Kids need things like that, there’s plenty of time for them to learn about the hard facts of reality but when they are little, let them be kids and enjoy magical things etc. Of course the kids who’s parents don’t let them believe in Santa will seem happy because that’s all they know, they don’t know what they are missing.

I guess the thing is though, there are people who it effects that way. You weren’t one of those people and I am glad of it. But just because your experience was different doesn’t mean that other peoples experiences are all of a sudden invalidated. Whether or not it makes sense to you, there are people who have been deeply and irrevocably effected negatively because of the way that their parents handled santa claus. It is important to realize that we are all different and we do not all react the same way to different things.

 

[Brendan_64]

there are people who have been deeply and irrevocably effected negatively because of the way that their parents handled santa claus.

Oh come on. Are you trying to argue that a person’s life has been blighted because their parents told them Santa Claus existed and then a few years later told them the truth? If that sort of thing would cause someone irrevocable mental harm, then that person must have had a lot more serious underlying issues to begin with.

The notion that adults are in need of therapy because their parents told them that Santa didn’t exist. It’s just ludicrous.

 

[aprilfloyd]

Believing in Santa is no different from believing, in the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny or any one of the gods - most people get these stories from their parents and as children we believe them. I was told about Santa et al, but there was never any proof and I see them as just stories. Santa is the biggest part of christmas, IMO, for kids - I say let them enjoy it and thee innocence of it while they can

 

[thewanderer]

Oh come on. Are you trying to argue that a person’s life has been blighted because their parents told them Santa Claus existed and then a few years later told them the truth? If that sort of thing would cause someone irrevocable mental harm, then that person must have had a lot more serious underlying issues to begin with.

The notion that adults are in need of therapy because their parents told them that Santa didn’t exist. It’s just ludicrous.

Where did I say that adults are in therapy because of this? The fact is that mulitple people, even on this thread, have come forward to say that they have personally been damaged because of this.

Look, I am not saying it is wrong to let your kids believe in santa. There are many people who have certainly benefitted because of this experience as is also evidenced by the testimony on this thread. I just think it is very important to be aware of all of the different effects this activity can have so that they can carefully and prudently make a decision with respect to each of their own children as to whether they would benefit or be harmed by this experience.

What is ludicrous is to invalidate other peoples experiences simply because they differ from your own.

 

[Ellen_Mary]

Personally I have always had presents from Santa for my daughter as a little girl. She and all her little friends used to love going to see Santa and writing out their list. I think there is so much evil happening around us in the world, that a little magic is acceptable. I’d of been really upset if anyone told my daughter Santa didn’t exist. It’s a part of childhood and in no way takes away from the importance of Our Lord and the church. My daughter is now 21 and she and I still enjoy our Christmas time together, with many fond memories of how I used to do different wrapping for Santa’s little stocking fillers etc.

 

[Brendan_64]

Where did I say that adults are in therapy because of this? The fact is that mulitple people, even on this thread, have come forward to say that they have personally been damaged because of this.

Well you did say that people have bee **irrevocably **effected negatively by this.

there are people who have been deeply and irrevocably effected negatively because of the way that their parents handled santa claus.

Saying that the negative effect is irrevocable means that the effect is so bad it cannot be undone. That would seem to suggest great damage, a damage that will effect someone for the rest of their lives. I guess therapy would not even be sufficient there, as even the best therapy cannot help if the damage is so bad as to be irrevocable.

 

[thewanderer]

Well you did say that people have bee **irrevocably **effected negatively by this.

Saying that the negative effect is irrevocable means that the effect is so bad it cannot be undone. That would seem to suggest great damage, a damage that will effect someone for the rest of their lives. I guess therapy would not even be sufficient there, as even the best therapy cannot help if the damage is so bad as to be irrevocable.

Well there are people who claim that the cause of their lack of faith in their families religion is rooted in their experience of santa claus and their experiences upon discovering that he did not exist despite their parents whom they trusted telling them otherwise. Being turned away from religion and becoming agnostic/atheistic sometimes lasts for a persons lifetime because of this. I agree that this is rare, but it has been known to happen. Perhaps even still irrevocable is a little harsh, but damage lasting into adulthood? Yes, that has been known to happen.

 

[Brendan_64]

Well maybe people are a bit more robust on this side of ‘The Pond’ because I have never, in my life, met anyone who has been damaged by the revelation, in their childhood, that Santa did not exist.

 

[Frank_Drebin]

Where did I say that adults are in therapy because of this? The fact is that mulitple people, even on this thread, have come forward to say that they have personally been damaged because of this.

Look, I am not saying it is wrong to let your kids believe in santa. There are many people who have certainly benefitted because of this experience as is also evidenced by the testimony on this thread. I just think it is very important to be aware of all of the different effects this activity can have so that they can carefully and prudently make a decision with respect to each of their own children as to whether they would benefit or be harmed by this experience.

What is ludicrous is to invalidate other peoples experiences simply because they differ from your own.

I agree, and don’t have an issue with parents who choose not to. I don’t see anyone saying parents who choose not to are wrong or being sinful. I do however see people saying parents who allow the belief to exist are essentially liars, since they are lying to their children.

 

[thewanderer]

I agree, and don’t have an issue with parents who choose not to. I don’t see anyone saying parents who choose not to are wrong or being sinful. I do however see people saying parents who allow the belief to exist are essentially liars, since they are lying to their children.

I have to say though, if they tell their children falsehoods, aren’t they lying? I guess I don’t see what is so terrible with admitting that. I get that people don’t like to be thought of as liars because of the negative connotations that come along with that, it can make it sound as though they are personally being judged to be bad people, but thats really not necessarily what is happening. I do understand that some parents are careful to allow their children’s belief without outright lying to them, and of course they would fall into a seperate category, but if someone is telling lies why is it a terrible thing to say that they are doing so?

 

[Frank_Drebin]

I have to say though, if they tell their children falsehoods, aren’t they lying? I guess I don’t see what is so terrible with admitting that. I get that people don’t like to be thought of as liars because of the negative connotations that come along with that, it can make it sound as though they are personally being judged to be bad people, but thats really not necessarily what is happening. I do understand that some parents are careful to allow their children’s belief without outright lying to them, and of course they would fall into a seperate category, but if someone is telling lies why is it a terrible thing to say that they are doing so?

If it makes you fell better, sure. I plan on lying to my daughter about Santa. hope the fall for it, hook line and sinker.

Like I said, you technically lie to your children about a lot.

Parents tell their children that vegetables will make the grow up strong and healthy. Really? Prove it. I was at my healthiest when I rarely ate veggies, and lived off of EAS supplements and protein shakes. Lots of kids grow up weak and unhealthy, despite a steady diet of greens.

Is grandad in Heaven? “Probably not. He was a relatively bad guy, was not practicing any faith, and at best, is likely in purgatory. Could he be? sure.”

“Honey, Jesus loves you more than anything in the world?” No, He loves you no more and no less than any person ever created.

I think age and context have a lot to do with this sort of thing. I am not a relativist by any means, but I believe the intent in this case has a lot to do with the nature of the sin, as you perceive it.

I tell my wife a lot she is the best wife and mother ever. How could I possibly know that? I’ve only experience one wife, and loves with one other mother. I also tell her that I love her more than anything in the world? Probably not true for most couples, since our actions indicate we often love our own selfish desires more.

How far do you want to take it? I am guessing most people on here lie in some way shape or form, as you define it.

Call it what you will, but I am not losing sleep over it.

 

[Kamaduck]

My parents never let me believe in Santa, and I’m totally OK with that. I don’t think I missed out on anything, my Christmases were awesome. I even watched movies about Santa, but with the understanding that it was pure fiction. That understanding didn’t make me any more cynical or rob me of imagination, it just helped me to know trith from falsehood.

When I was little, I didn’t like being told anything that was false. My parents nearly always told me about how things really were or told me that I would probably not understand until I was older (but they generally tried to explain anyway). I trusted them to always give me the facts as they knew them- not necessarily all the facts, but not to mix in falsehood. I was annoyed, as a little kid, that many adults didn’t take this approach.

Now that I’m older, I don’t think it’s wrong to tell little kids that the presents are from Santa. That said, if I ever have kids, they will not be learing about him from me.

 

[thewanderer]

If it makes you fell better, sure. I plan on lying to my daughter about Santa. hope the fall for it, hook line and sinker.

Like I said, you technically lie to your children about a lot.

Parents tell their children that vegetables will make the grow up strong and healthy. Really? Prove it. I was at my healthiest when I rarely ate veggies, and lived off of EAS supplements and protein shakes. Lots of kids grow up weak and unhealthy, despite a steady diet of greens.

Is grandad in Heaven? “Probably not. He was a relatively bad guy, was not practicing any faith, and at best, is likely in purgatory. Could he be? sure.”

“Honey, Jesus loves you more than anything in the world?” No, He loves you no more and no less than any person ever created.

I think age and context have a lot to do with this sort of thing. I am not a relativist by any means, but I believe the intent in this case has a lot to do with the nature of the sin, as you perceive it.

I tell my wife a lot she is the best wife and mother ever. How could I possibly know that? I’ve only experience one wife, and loves with one other mother. I also tell her that I love her more than anything in the world? Probably not true for most couples, since our actions indicate we often love our own selfish desires more.

How far do you want to take it? I am guessing most people on here lie in some way shape or form, as you define it.

Call it what you will, but I am not losing sleep over it.

I’m not trying to make you lose sleep over it and I’m not trying to make you feel like a bad person. You seem very very defensive about this, so clearly I have come across antagonistically as if I am trying to attack you. I am very sorry for that and I assure you that that is not at all the case.