Should we stay with a co-habitating daughter?

[patches]

We will be visiting our adult daughter in another city soon, and she has invited us to stay with her. Although she knows we do not approve of her living with her boyfriend, I think it would be wrong to suggest our tacit approval of the living arrangement by staying with them. I am fairly certain that my wife will disagree, but I’m inclined to book a room at a hotel. I’m concerned that even visiting them at “their” apartment gives the wrong impression. How should I handle this?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

A fundamental principle of hospitality is that you don’t accept from others what you cannot reciprocate to them. If you would not allow your daughter and her boyfriend to spend the night together in your home, then you cannot stay overnight in your daughter’s home. Visiting them but not staying overnight is another matter. There is nothing wrong with having a meal with them or spending a few hours in their home (and with reciprocating hospitality to them to that extent). But I agree with you that you should book your own hotel room when visiting them in their city.