Should women change their maiden names?

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dumbseeker

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Should women change their maiden names to their husbands’ last names after they get married?
 
There are sometimes good reasons not to, but if a woman has been single all her life and is still relatively young, I think she should take her husband’s name as her own last name, to signify unity in the family.

Reasons not to would be if she had children from a previous relationship, and wanted to keep the same last name as her children, or if she has already started her career and is known in public by her maiden name.
 
I don’t think it is a “should” issue – some do for their reasons some don’t for their reasons.
 
I’m going to discuss it with the guy on the right time. It depends on names, families, heritage, etc. I’m actually thinking of reclaiming an old but beautiful Italian surname that’s in my family, due to the fact that this side of our family has pretty much all but disappeared and seeing if my husband actually would like to either take it or combine it with his name and pass both names to our children, like they do in a lot of regions of Latin America.

One of my Catholic guy friends is very Italian, except for the 25% that gave him his surname! So he said he’s just going to marry an Italian girl and take her name! I’m like, way to turn the tide:p

Seriously, it’s the personal choice of the woman. She’s not going to Hell for not taking her husband’s name.
 
I’m liberal on many issues, but when it comes to this, I believe it shows unity for a woman to take her husband’s last name…even if it’s hyphenated with hers. I also believe that if a couple has a son, he should also take the father’s first name, no matter how strange it might be. 😛 I just like that as a tradition. 🙂
 
I went back to my maiden name after my divorce and if I get married again, I’ll keep my maiden name. The reason is because I publish papers so it’s better in my line of work to keep one name. If I hadn’t already published so much, I would change it. However when I have kids, they will have my husband’s name. None of that crazy hyphenated stuff for me.
 
dumbseeker said:
Should women change their maiden names to their husbands’ last names after they get married?
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Each should decide for herself.

I would not have changed my last name if I had married - apparently I first said that I wouldn’t at 10. But if that is something a woman wants to do (and opposed to being told she should) that’s also fine.

What I do get annoyed about is people saying that if a woman doesn’t change her name on marriage she doesn’t love or respect or husband or both. To me these are separate things.
 
dumbseeker said:
Should women change their maiden names to their husbands’ last names after they get married?
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Too many variables. Depends on the woman, the man, the last name he got, the last name she came with to the marriage, etc.
 
I’m a traditionalist so I would change my name but I see nothing wrong is using a hyphen Mrs. Smith-Jones or Mrs. McDonald-Bush. Hyphens can be cool but I have no idea how much trouble the cause with paperwork, taxes, legal agreements.
 
1ke said:
Depends upon what country and culture you are talking about.
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Yeah, and also her reasons. There may be underlying issues (wrong attitude towards marriage) or simply some other issues that a very valid concerns.
 
I’m very traditional when it comes to this (well, and most things actually 😉 ). I think that when two become one it is the husband’s name the couple should take, and none of this hyphenated nonsense.

If someone has professional reasons to keep a maiden name, such as the post above of someone who has many published papers in her name, then it is always possible to use the maiden name professionally and the married name the rest of the time. I see no issues with this. But the legal name should be that of the husband.

My opinion - not popular, not trendy, but mine. :cool:

~Liza
 
Depends. Authorship identity issues are a good example of a reasonable ground not to and generally, the issue is cultural, not theological - best evidence is that it’s relatively modern. Surnames of today’s kind in fact are quite modern and the custom of changing is even more so - it is not even uniform everywhere, actually. Besides, legal name is not all there is to a name. Social uses are sometimes more important. Heh, I’m a guy and my social uses don’t always match my actual legal name. There’s no reason to say a “Cathrine Johnson” married to a John Smith is not a Mrs Smith or that her son, a Christopher Smith is not a Johnson, despite being a Smith. Her daughter Christine does not stop being a Smith when changing her name to McNeil after marriage. These are all basically blood ties. 😛
 
sanctamaria17 said:
I’m going to discuss it with the guy on the right time. It depends on names, families, heritage, etc. I’m actually thinking of reclaiming an old but beautiful Italian surname that’s in my family, due to the fact that this side of our family has pretty much all but disappeared and seeing if my husband actually would like to either take it or combine it with his name and pass both names to our children, like they do in a lot of regions of Latin America.

One of my Catholic guy friends is very Italian, except for the 25% that gave him his surname! So he said he’s just going to marry an Italian girl and take her name! I’m like, way to turn the tide:p

Seriously, it’s the personal choice of the woman. She’s not going to Hell for not taking her husband’s name.
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Do the Italian men take their wives’ names?
 
NO they don’t! The women keep their maiden names after they get married. Actually the way they do it is for example:
Maria Pace in (husband’s last name).
Or. Pace Maria (husband’s last name.
 
dumbseeker said:
Do the Italian men take their wives’ names?
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No, it’s just that this particular guy happens to hate his last name, one of the reasons being is that it doesn’t reflect his Italian ancestry. So his solution is, marry an Italian girl and take her last name (provided her Italian side is the one with the last name:)). And while he’s a strong Catholic masculine man who acts like a gentleman and treats every girl as if she were a queen, he doesn’t care about the issues of gender that frankly, just shouldn’t matter (which parent stays at home, whose last name gets used, who does housework, etc.).
 
Generally, I think it’s best. I have always thought it was very symbolic of the two becoming one, and being a family with one last name is so convenient and uncomplicated. If I ever get married, I’ll change my name.
 
Of course it is up to the couple.

I did take his name. But I am very old fashioned.
 
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