Should you always obey your parents?

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danmey552

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I suggest you share the explanation of this commandment from the Catechism with your friend.

2217 As long as a child lives at home with his parents, the child should obey his parents in all that they ask of him when it is for his good or that of the family. “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” Children should also obey the reasonable directions of their teachers and all to whom their parents have entrusted them. But if a child is convinced in conscience that it would be morally wrong to obey a particular order, he must not do so.

As they grow up, children should continue to respect their parents. They should anticipate their wishes, willingly seek their advice, and accept their just admonitions. Obedience toward parents ceases with the emancipation of the children; not so respect, which is always owed to them. This respect has its roots in the fear of God, one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

2230 When they become adults, children have the right and duty to choose their profession and state of life. They should assume their new responsibilities within a trusting relationship with their parents, willingly asking and receiving their advice and counsel.** Parents should be careful not to exert pressure on their children either in the choice of a profession or in that of a spouse.** This necessary restraint does not prevent them - quite the contrary from giving their children judicious advice, particularly when they are planning to start a family.
What about in cases of married couples who move in with the parent(s) of one of the spouses? Would the married child of the parent(s) with whom they are living still be obliged to “obey his parents in all that they ask of him when it is for his good or that of the family?”
 
No, the Bible says children obey your parents. Once you are an adult and no longer a child you don’t have to obey them, you are not their children anymore, you are their son or daughter but not their children because you are no longer a child. 😉 You should always respect them but you don’t have to obey them anymore. It didn’t say sons and daughters obey your parents, it said children.
 
What about in cases of married couples who move in with the parent(s) of one of the spouses? Would the married child of the parent(s) with whom they are living still be obliged to “obey his parents in all that they ask of him when it is for his good or that of the family?”
I am a single woman who has lived with her parents off and on for economic reasons. The latest time was last year. I do think that people who live with relatives are obliged to do what they can to get along and make the arrangement work. Maybe they can give money, or housework or errand time. If the parents ask something of the adult child, the adult child could consider it if it helps to make the parents’ life easier; after all they are doing a favor.
 
No, the Bible says children obey your parents. Once you are an adult and no longer a child you don’t have to obey them, you are not their children anymore, you are their son or daughter but not their children because you are no longer a child. 😉 You should always respect them but you don’t have to obey them anymore. It didn’t say sons and daughters obey your parents, it said children.
Right - Honor them does not mean obey them. They are not infallible. As an adult, you should pray to discern the path you should take. You should listen to your parents and try to understand their point of view, but in the end, it is your responsibility to make the decision.

However, if they tell you to take out the garbage, you should (unless there is some real reason why you can’t).

Peace,
John
 
What about in cases of married couples who move in with the parent(s) of one of the spouses? Would the married child of the parent(s) with whom they are living still be obliged to “obey his parents in all that they ask of him when it is for his good or that of the family?”
You use common sense.

A married person is not a child.
 
What about in cases of married couples who move in with the parent(s) of one of the spouses? Would the married child of the parent(s) with whom they are living still be obliged to “obey his parents in all that they ask of him when it is for his good or that of the family?”
No, because the married person has created his or her own new family. You are obligated to honor your parents; you do not obey them when you are a grown adult. You can take their opinions into consideration, but the need to obey ends when you are an adult, especially one with a spouse or family.
 
The married person living with his or her parents should have some kind of rental agreement with them, outlining what they will be responsible for. Whoever owns the house gets to make the rules, and although the parents should be reasonable, if the adult children do not like it, they can leave. It’s not obedience, it’s a mutually agreed upon situation.
 
Right - Honor them does not mean obey them. They are not infallible. As an adult, you should pray to discern the path you should take. You should listen to your parents and try to understand their point of view, but in the end, it is your responsibility to make the decision.

However, if they tell you to take out the garbage, you should (unless there is some real reason why you can’t).

Peace,
John
Exactly! 👍
 
The married person living with his or her parents should have some kind of rental agreement with them, outlining what they will be responsible for. Whoever owns the house gets to make the rules, and although the parents should be reasonable, if the adult children do not like it, they can leave. It’s not obedience, it’s a mutually agreed upon situation.
Right, you respect them, their house and their rules, and if you really don’t like it just leave. You don’t have to obey them but you do have to respect them and their rules the same way you would a landlord’s rules. If the landlord says no parties or loud music etc you respect that or find another place to live. You give your parents the same respect.
 
I have lived with my MIL, not because we needed to but because it made more sense for everybody. We did not pay rent, because the plan was that when our new house was ready, she would move in with us. She did, and it worked out rather well. (The woman was a gem of a MIL, though, may she rest in peace.) Still, some of my siblings lived at home after they finished college and got a job.

In that case, the situation is that you give your parent the respect due to the homeowner, the head of the household. They have the right to set house rules that they wouldn’t if you were just roommates splitting the rent. They have the right to expect that you will take on a certain amount of the routine maintenance of the home, over and above simply seeing to your own needs–an adult’s share and in an adult way, which means you are happy to help when asked and that usually you don’t have to be asked to do it. You aren’t a child, but if you stay longer than two days, you’re not a guest, either. Nevertheless, they ought to give you the respect due to an adult, including a certain amount of privacy with regards to your private life. You ought to tell them as much about where you will be, with whom, and for how long as they would typically tell you. Mere roommates are allowed a certain number of editorial comments about each other’s doings, but not in an interfering way. Unless they refuse to accept rent, they have the right to expect that you’ll not only pay the extra utility expenses that they incur because of you, but something in the way of rent in order to make the arrangement less one-sided. You should not wait for them to ask. Why shouldn’t the situation be as mutually beneficial as possible, since everyone involved is an adult?

For instance, an adult still living at home will have routine housework or yard work that they will take care of as a matter of course. If they are on the ball, this will include volunteering to do some of the “inflexible” work with regards to time, such as helping to prepare food or clean up after meals. In one house I was in, it was my job to make one meal a week, to the point that the people at home would only have to throw it in the oven, even if I wasn’t going to be at home to eat.

Neither you nor your parents, however, will have veto power on the other one’s opinions, friends, recreational choices, or hobbies, save those that have some impact on the livability of the house or the neighborhood. No one will expect the other to “make themselves scarce” when the other has company, but will also not expect “command appearances” when entertaining guests, either. That kind of thing…the idea being that if you eventually do decide to move out, if you’ve done your part they will feel at least as much regret as relief that you are finally moving out on your own.

Still, some relatives, though they love each other dearly, make spectacularly bad roommates. If that is you and your parents, do get yourself out as quickly as possible.
 
What about in cases of married couples who move in with the parent(s) of one of the spouses? Would the married child of the parent(s) with whom they are living still be obliged to “obey his parents in all that they ask of him when it is for his good or that of the family?”
A married person is emancipated from their parents whether or not they live with them. Marriage severs the ties to your previous family and instead sets them up with your new spouse. This is true no matter where you and your spouse live.
 
What about in cases of married couples who move in with the parent(s) of one of the spouses? Would the married child of the parent(s) with whom they are living still be obliged to “obey his parents in all that they ask of him when it is for his good or that of the family?”
I would say, yes, if you want to live under someone else’s roof, then you should do as they ask. If you don’t like what they ask, get your own place. Seems pretty simple to me.
 
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Yes most definitely, out of Love and Respect for a few reasons; one being that they brought you through by God, sacrificing many things for you to be born, to raise you, to teach you morals and values and to teach you the respect that you would want your future Children to have for you at any age!

Therefore, if your Parents are asking you to do things (that are positive for you as an Adult and Individual such as domestic tasks that are great for self discipline and you would need to undertake if living separately anyway and/or positive steps to be taken in your Life for a positive future; yes you would be wise to obey them!

Love and best wishes
 
A married person is emancipated from their parents whether or not they live with them. Marriage severs the ties to your previous family and instead sets them up with your new spouse. This is true no matter where you and your spouse live.
Marriage does not sever ties with one’s parents/family at all. The relationships might change, but the ties are still there. As sons and daughters we must always honor our families, and help them to tend to their needs when necessary.
 
Marriage does not sever ties with one’s parents/family at all. The relationships might change, but the ties are still there. As sons and daughters we must always honor our families, and help them to tend to their needs when necessary.
I phrased the above poorly. Yes, of course children must always love and honor their parents, but their is a certain level of the parental/child relationship which is severed when a child marries, even if the child still lives at home. As the Bible tells us, a man leaves his parents and famly and clings to his wife. The requirement to obey ones parents does not apply once a child marries. They must still love and respect them, but they are no longer required to obey them.
 
I phrased the above poorly. Yes, of course children must always love and honor their parents, but their is a certain level of the parental/child relationship which is severed when a child marries, even if the child still lives at home. As the Bible tells us, a man leaves his parents and famly and clings to his wife. The requirement to obey ones parents does not apply once a child marries. They must still love and respect them, but they are no longer required to obey them.
Even without that, though - it seems that adulthood severs the requirement of obedience, and not marriage. As a 25-year-old single young woman, I certainly don’t consider myself to have a requirement to obey my mother, and I don’t think I would even if I had to move back for some reason. I certainly couldn’t if I expected to stay at all sane! One does what one can to respect and honor them, but an adult is not bound to obey.
 
Even without that, though - it seems that adulthood severs the requirement of obedience, and not marriage. As a 25-year-old single young woman, I certainly don’t consider myself to have a requirement to obey my mother, and I don’t think I would even if I had to move back for some reason. I certainly couldn’t if I expected to stay at all sane! One does what one can to respect and honor them, but an adult is not bound to obey.
I didn’t say that marriage was the only thing that severs it.
 
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