Should your favorite mass time be a consideration when selecting a partner?

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johnsmith2025

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Hi everyone,

I hadn’t really thought about this before, and I’m not sure how many do think about it, but,
I was hoping to get your view on this:

If you’d like to attend mass at a certain time ( 6:00 AM ), and a certain number of times per week ( 3 times, Sundays Tuesdays and Thursdays ), should your choices of mass time and frequency be something you consider when hoping to find a life partner?
Or is it something that you don’t need to bother thinking about when you’re hoping to find someone?

Thanks in advance for your answers
 
I think t is definitely part of the puzzle. I LOVE doing a certain style aerobics and sadly, there are not many classes that I enjoy. The best one in town is on Sunday morning so I go to Saturday mass. My conscious is clear since I am fulfilling my obligation. However, if a man dreams of a family that goes to mass every Sunday morning (as opposed to Saturday night, or alternating weekends and I only miss half of my favorite aerobics class), it would a deal breaker for me

Angie
 
johnsmith2025 said:
If you’d like to attend mass at a certain time ( 6:00 AM ), and a certain number of times per week ( 3 times, Sundays Tuesdays and Thursdays ), should your choices of mass time and frequency be something you consider when hoping to find a life partner?
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Do you expect the perspective partner to go w/ you all 3 times or just on Sunday? Does the perspective partner mind you going or does he/ she get upset that you go to Mass so often? Are you willing to sometimes go to a Mass the other person prefers?

Or is it ‘my way or the highway’?
 
If you find a great person, than you need to ask yourself if you’re willing to let them go over an issue like this.
 
When it comes down to it the most important factor is… is this partner Catholic… and if not…willing to become Catholic.

But my routine changes several times a year. You get in different grooves. My wife and I are flexible with each other and I think that is very important. To potentially lose out on a relationship that could help you become closer to God through constant sacrifice and a building up of Love because of a preference of time of attending Mass is a little overkill IMHO.
 
My wife goes to mass for God, not for me. During mass her focus is on God, not me. We don’t always attend together and that is fine. If we are able to that is also fine. But I would be far more concerned if she didn’t want to attend mass at all and vice versa.
 
I would focus more on if the potential partner was a Catholic who made mass and living a Catholic life a priority or not. If you’re searching for someone who will only go to the 6am Mass on those specific days then you are missing out on a lot of great people because of your schedule at this moment. What happens if you get a job that requires you to move to another city that doesn’t have a 6am mass, only an 8am? What happens if you find a woman that completely compliments your current schedule but then finds out that her Mom is looking into becoming a Catholic but can only go to a Saturday vigil mass?

So I think that overall you’re looking for someone who is invested in their Catholic faith and makes following the Catholic way of life a priority. After that be flexible as to how they specifically live out their faith. You never know…maybe their structure ends up leading you closer to God even though it means a Wednesday service instead of a Tuesday one.
 
Well, I guess if you’ve got A LOT of options, then this could help to narrow down the selection.
 
johnsmith2025 said:
If you’d like to attend mass at a certain time ( 6:00 AM ),
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One more though, if you get married and have kids and your wife has to work, at 6:00 AM you will either be helping her get the kids ready for day care (and not going to mass) or have a very angry wife
 
I don’t bother thinking about it. God will send me to where he wants me to be.
 
This is actually something I was thinking about this morning. I attend Daily Mass in addition to Sunday Mass and all are early Masses but I wouldn’t expect it (Daily Mass) of my future husband. I would like it if attends Mass Daily or at least a couple times during the week with me. As for the time, my life will be different with a husband so I don’t just expect him to make sacrifices for me but I will have to make some for him and our family as well, so if different Mass times are better for us as a couple and a family I am going to have to find a way to make it work but if early Mass times are better he is going to have to make the adjustment.
 
should your choices of mass time and frequency be something you consider when hoping to find a life partner?
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No, God has to come first, in return, you will be look after by God. If this is a meant to be for you to be with someone, God will look after this too.

All the best!
 
Anglewannabe said:
One more though, if you get married and have kids and your wife has to work, at 6:00 AM you will either be helping her get the kids ready for day care (and not going to mass) or have a very angry wife
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THIS!

We are as flexible as possible. If I had my way our family would be at the 8:00 AM Sunday mass but that is just not possible.
We did go to the 8:00 when we first started attending Mass on a regular basis…but that is impossible now.

I have a one year old and in order to achieve a relatively peaceful and non-distracting Mass, we need to go to the 10:30.
It’s the only way I can get her full morning routine in and have her close to nap time so she is docile and relatively relaxed during Mass.
Then I don’t have to worry about her wanting to eat, wanting to get down and play.

My husband occasionally works overnights…which means we need to get to Mass on Saturday afternoon right before he leaves for work.

I also liked to go to the night masses for events like Ash Wed, the Easter Vigil and midnight Mass on Christmas Eve. We can’t do that because my daughter will just make a racquet of protest and cry the whole time.

You’ll find that regardless of what you like…even if you find a mate that likes the same Mass time as you do…once kids get mixed in…you’ll be doing what works for them in order to just make it to Mass every Sunday.
 
Kelfa28 said:
You’ll find that regardless of what you like…even if you find a mate that likes the same Mass time as you do…once kids get mixed in…you’ll be doing what works for them in order to just make it to Mass every Sunday.
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I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with having this as a criteria, if it means that much to you.

When you are single, you get to be more picky about these things. That’s part of the lifestyle.

Keep in mind that some activities only happen during one season of life and when that time is over, it’s over.

You enjoy the memories and live the life that you are given (whatever that looks like).

One of my friends is really jealous because I asked his wife to stand up for me at Easter Vigil because he loves Easter Vigil. It’s his favorite mass. (Sound familiar?)

However, he’s also got 5 kids at home and can’t leave home alone at night. So, of course, he’s going to choose his kids over going to Easter Vigil w/his wife. Nobody’s surprised or annoyed by his choice. Of course, he’s disappointed, but he has other responsibilities that are more important than attending Easter Vigil at my parish. Everyone understands.

The season where he can go out and do things w/o having to worry about kids isn’t coming anytime soon. It is what it is.

Other people have a say over your life when you are in a relationship/have a spouse/have kids. Things aren’t going to be the same as they are now. Most people change jobs these days. Most people end up moving and changing parishes.

I’d be leery about having the expectation that you will always be able to attend your favorite mass, in general, regardless whether you have a partner.
 
Anglewannabe said:
One more though, if you get married and have kids and your wife has to work, at 6:00 AM you will either be helping her get the kids ready for day care (and not going to mass) or have a very angry wife
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Even as an at-home mom, I’d be upset if my husband skipped out on morning duties and breakfast for Mass regularly.
 
johnsmith2025 said:
Hi everyone,

I hadn’t really thought about this before, and I’m not sure how many do think about it, but,
I was hoping to get your view on this:

If you’d like to attend mass at a certain time ( 6:00 AM ), and a certain number of times per week ( 3 times, Sundays Tuesdays and Thursdays ), should your choices of mass time and frequency be something you consider when hoping to find a life partner?
Or is it something that you don’t need to bother thinking about when you’re hoping to find someone?

Thanks in advance for your answers
Click to expand...
Nope, shouldn’t even be part of the equation.

Your life after you get married will change…and change…and change again. Your work schedule may change, you may move several times in your life, you or your spouse may have health issues that prevent you from attending that certain Mass time, your children may need you more in the mornings, etc, etc.

Now, if I was your potential spouse and you insisted you MUST got to the 6am Mass three times a week and would not budge, that would be a deal breaker for me because it would show me you are not willing to compromise and THAT is a factor in looking for a great spouse. I wouldn’t argue over how many times you go to Mass during the week, but if you couldn’t work on finding a schedule that works for both you and me, I’d break off the relationship.

I’m not saying a future spouse should make you change, but you need to consider that there might be times in your life going to that Mass time may have to be adjusted and if you can’t see that, then there would be serious issues in the relationship for me.
 
PatriceA said:
I’m not saying a future spouse should make you change, but you need to consider that there might be times in your life going to that Mass time may have to be adjusted and if you can’t see that, then there would be serious issues in the relationship for me.
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Absolutely!!!

I cared about whether my husband was a devout Catholic, not about which mass he preferred to go to. We each have our preferences, but we have to compromise ALL the time. Sometimes, I’m sick or extra-immune-compromised, and we have to go to one of the less-populated masses, and sit way in the back, which he doesn’t like. Sometimes, he has to cantor, and we end up going to mass times that I don’t like. Lately, I’ve been ordered to bedrest, and my husband has to bring communion home for me, which is hard on all of us.

Flexibility is a HUGE thing, and if my husband had been super-insistant about a certain mass time, or a certain parish, or a certain priest, etc., that would have been a red flag, and it would make me wonder how he’d handle other issues that would come up, where we’d need to compromise.
 
Ask yourself this: would you want the other person to toss you over because of the mass time they prefer? Come on. Great person, faithful Catholic, person I’m in love with and want to make a life with until death do us part but opps! Can’t have my mass time interrupted. If you are looking towards marriage as a vocation be prepared to make much, much,.much more drastic sacrifices. Marriage is a life of sacrifice. The end.
 
shannyk said:
Ask yourself this: would you want the other person to toss you over because of the mass time they prefer? Come on. Great person, faithful Catholic, person I’m in love with and want to make a life with until death do us part but opps! Can’t have my mass time interrupted. If you are looking towards marriage as a vocation be prepared to make much, much,.much more drastic sacrifices. Marriage is a life of sacrifice. The end.
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Amen! The most important thing is that they are striving for holiness. It’s like the old saying: A person who isn’t after God’s Heart, shouldn’t be after mine. Mass times are insignificant, the thing that should be desirable in a spouse is whether they attend Mass period!
 
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