I heard that too, and I think it was Luke & Laura on General Hospital. I also heard from a minister friend that it was standard among Protestants to do it for interfaith marriages to show unity in Christ (nothing to do with unity with each other) when mixed marriages became more the norm in the 70s.
I’ve been to several weddings (including my own!) in which the TLM was celebrated. As I recall, some of the brides (and bridesmaids, too) wore little jackets that matched their dresses. My wife didn’t use a jacket, but she had the dress altered to add small sleeves. Her bridesmaids had jackets that matched their dresses.
I do understand what you are trying to say. Many brides of my generation are not properly educated about this. Whenever I sit down with my brides to discuss music, I will try to be as informative as possible into the why certain music isn’t permitted. All of the brides I’ve worked with one on one, after getting together with me, are totally understanding and have no problem with having only sacred music. I also give them a huge list of other appropriate music and listening samples - and they soon realize that there is a lot of equally spiritual and beautiful sacred and religious music out there.
My friend had the same issue when she was planning her wedding. She had no idea about the sacred music thing until I told her… 3 days before the wedding. She changed everything. She called the musicians playing at the wedding and made sure they already knew the songs she was now using. One or two they knew, but were not comfortable performing because they didn’t know them that well, so she changed them again.
I don’t remember the copyright date for “Together for Life”, but that may have something to do with the inclusion of the “Candle Ceremony” thing.
We had a candle ceremony at our Catholic wedding. It came at the end of the Rite of Marriage, and consisted of my husband lighting a candle (that was given to us by the church) with the flame of the altar candle. DH then presented the small candle to me, and we both held it as our pastor said a prayer over us. It symbolized our entry into the parish as a married couple. So not a “Unity Candle”, which we specifically did not want. I thought it was beautiful.
Has it got an Imprimatur and Nihil Obstat?
Impramaturs and nahil obstats are given to say that something is free from error of faith and morals, and its worthy to be written.
we have fond memories of that, it was such a special and meaningful part of the ceremony. I’ve seen it done many times. It’s beautiful in my opinion.
Okay, I am looking at my copy of “Together for Life - Special Edition for Marriage Outside Mass” that our parish uses and inside it says First printing February 1972, First revised printing June 2002, Twenty-eight printing August 2003. It also has Imprimatur with two names listed. In the pages titled Order of Service it does say the optional Candle Ceremony usually occurs at the end of the Rite of Marriage or before and during the Final Blessing.
(The bracketed parts are from the paragraph immediately proceeding that one, which it referenced).
No. That is why my PV, who actually uses that Champlain book, banned it from the weddnigs where he presides.
This sounds about right. I was married in August of 2003. We got our Together For Life book around January 2002/2003. Our diocese was still doing the Unity Candle ceremonies by that point. But not long after our wedding, probably around January 2004, did the diocese begin to discourage the use of it and then eventually banned it altogether. So I would say the last 2 or 3 years all the wedding masses I sung for in my diocese have not incorporated the Unity Candle ceremony. (In the neighboring diocese that’s another story - they seem to be a bit more lenient when it comes to things like that.) I believe it is also now indicated in the wedding packets at our cathedral that is no longer permitted and suggests to have it at the reception.
That’s why it is important for the music director and/or the pastor of the parish to stipulate what is appropriate and inappropriate for music choices. Having sung for weddings in many and various Catholic churches and working with many church musicians/directors, most parishes will have stipulations and will be sure to inform the couple about them. They also will usually provide a list of music that is common and appropriate AND will ask to see any music not on the list to be sure it is ok to use. Whoever is in charge of the music program at your parish unfortunately seemed to have failed to provide you with this information.
No it isn’t a sign. It is barely a symbol. When you are going to disneyland, do you stop at the sign that says “10 miles to disneyland” and decorate the sign and take pictures of the sign? Of course not…you go straight to Disneyland. (Eucharist in this analogy). The EUCHARIST is the actual uniting. One shouldn’t stop off before hand and light a candle to “Symbolize” unity when they can actually have it in the EUcharist.