Shouldn't love require action?

[bclustr9]

My mother reaches out to me once a year to say Happy Birthday and that she loves me but other than that, nothing. What’s the point I wonder?

She’s never really been a mom to me and even abused and was complicit in her first husbands abuse of me. She’s never wanted to listen to me about what I went through and how it hurt me and she thinks the past should “stay in the past”. Incredulous. So I ask you, what is love?

 

[jyotisharma2859]

Parenting isn’t about just paying for everything that your child needs. It’s about spending time with your child, showing him love and care when he needs it most, help your child at every step of his life and many more than that.

 

[Rutherford2]

What is love? Love is both ways. It is exchanged between two people. Love is also to let go.

 

[TheLittleLady]

I’m so sorry for what happened to you and I pray that you have found healing.

For your mother, you have two choices: Accept what she can give/who she is today or sever your relationship. She cannot go back and change yesterday, and she may be in some counseling herself to work through the unimaginable pain and regret for the past. She is offering what she can right now, a phone call here and there. The “ball is in your court”, speak to your therapist and decide if you are going to try a new “match”.

 

[Hoosier-Daddy]

Love is not something you can force from another. If your mom doesnt love you as much as she should or cant show it in a healthy manner you can move on. You can’t get water from an oil well.

 

[Opal0427]

I’m sorry that this hurts you. A lot pf people have very involved affectionate suppprtive parents and I can understand your resentment in a lot of ways.

You can’t control her. In this life you’ll never know what she truly feels or how much she’s trying. All you know is that it’s not normal and it hurts.

We can spend a lifetime analyzing dysfunctional parents. It wont get us anywhere. We want to fix them and we cant. And quite frankly, we aren’t called to. We’re called to forgive, to pray for them, to do our best to want good things for them. In ways it’s safe to do so and doesn’t cause us to sin, we’re called to take care of them & honor them.

She doesn’t have to deserve it. We don’t love others because they deserve it. We love others because God loves us when we dont deserve it. We love and serve the image of Christ in them. And we do all this through our Lords power, for his glory, and in gratitude for his sacrifices and loyalty to us when we’ve never earned them.

I know she’s hurt you. Turn to your spiritual mother Mary to comfort you and fill that need for a nurturing mom. And try to worry less about how well people are loving you, and more about how well you are serving Christ in them.

God bless you, comfort you and guide you with all the angels and saints and your home church. We are never alone. We are never without a loving family. Truly.

Glory be to God alone. When I am weak, He is strong.

 

[Garydavid]

I read your post and I had to think about it before I replied. I don’t know your life or your mother’s but there are answers to your question. You ask what is love. People use this word for just about everything today but don’t seem to be able to live its true meaning all that well. Loves true meaning for me lives in the words of Jesus, He is love and trying to live His words in earnest will make true love come alive in us. If we find this true meaning of love in our hearts it really does bring happiness inside ourselves and then we find it easier to forgive others and understand maybe why others can’t or don’t seem to display love as they should. I guess it all begins with ourselves and spreads out from there. I do know that finding this love sets us free. Well I hope this helps you even in a small way. God bless you… Gary

 

[JMMJ]

Some people just don’t have that much love to give. Sometimes it is their fault, and often times it isn’t. I know how hurtful it can be to not feel the love of a mother. You can either decide to accept what she does offer, or you can decide to move on. You don’t really mention if you love your mother. You don’t have to answer here, but you may wish to think about the answer. It will probably guide you in the decisions you make moving forward.

 

[crenfro]

Love is when you did something wrong and someone comes along and says they’ll suffer the consequences for you - even to the point of being abused & being put to death. They’re willing to do things like this for you because they care so much for you.

I’m so sorry you haven’t met up with this kind of love yet - I hope you do soon.

Please pray for me.

 

[rose321]

She’s never really been a mom to me

For your mother, you have two choices: Accept what she can give/who she is today or sever your relationship.

Respectfully opinion only pondering on being so so Blessed and deeply thankful our Heavenly Father… did not have that attitude in dealing with us …by severing our relationship with him…and we continually fall getting back up…were all human…

Fact that she gave you the Sacred gift of… Life…makes her a Loving Mom does it not?

Interesting one is asking what love is?

I have seen parents, mom, dads who were the perfect loving parents ever…and still have a child…blame them for their pain of this or that…sadly

And seen some parents not being perfect, never corrected their own weakness in what ever… …get honored the most…go figure

As one ever listened to what ones mother went through during her own childhood or journey in Life?

Has one tried to reach out to her and not make it solely about me me, just enjoy doing something together, spending time?

And if Jesus held us to our own past mistakes, keep bringing up our past… who would be saved?
But rather have we learned from our lessons…and what is important to God is that …we are no longer what we were yesterday, rose above it, lessons learn…move on…

Bringing up the past serves you does it not, but might put her pain back on her, bring her back down…which she might of learned from painfully and is moving on, waste not no more tomorrows looking back maybe?

We all have lessons to learn do we not?

True Love is Loving someone …unconditionally…as Jesus has taught us and has done for us all…thank God he did not sever our relationships and loves us all unconditionally…and tolerant…where would we all be?

And one cannot give what they do not have first for themselves…
One cannot give Love if one does not have Love… first within them to give…