Have you all every been around a person who recently quit smoking? Ya get the drift?
Sometimes new members of any given group only have the rulebook to go by instead of the day in and day out life that most of us here have had with the Church for 40 or 50 years. It is so easy to look in from the outside and proclaim what should be done, especially if you are very young or inexperienced. With time and an open heart hopefully Pope Francis’ words will help bben learn charity and love for we all are sinners.
That’s a good point and I apologize for forgetting it in this discussion. Although I am a cradle Catholic I’m a revert after a long absence (this happened 16 years ago). So I understand the notion of the “zeal of the newly converted”, and thought this way myself back then
So mea culpa to bben and embear and others for uncharitable language.
However that doesn’t mean I agree with them. I was searching for the right way to get across what I need to get across, and that’s the notion of
dialogue.
Benedictines are trained to listen. In fact “listen” is the first word of the Rule of St. Benedict.
We shouldn’t try to force out dissenters. We need to dialogue respectfully with them and listen to them. There may be reasons for their ambivalence on issues like, say same-sex unions. They may for example have a gay son or daughter and are struggling with notions they never thought they’d never need to struggle with, and must find a balance between loving their child unconditionally and not driving them away by being to stern in their disapproval of their lifestyle.
Or it may be a young woman who had an abortion, and it weighs heavily on her conscience, but all she hears is the message of condemnation when she really needs to hear that a merciful God will forgive her. The Holy Father specifically used this example. She may not even have had full consent, it may have been pressure from parents or an abusive boyfriend that made her give in to them rather than her conscience.
The Church needs to be a place of healing, not driving away those suffering (and dissenters often are suffering).
The Benedictine abbey I’m associated with never, ever turns someone away, whether he or she is gay, an addict, or whatever. The Rule of St. Benedict says to welcome everyone as if Christ Himself was walking through the door.
Whether we like it or not, the dissenter has the image of Christ imprinted on his heart even if often it can be behind layers of accumulated hurts; it’s a bit like an old building that has undergone many doubtful renovations, but when you strip away the layers there’s a magnificent historic architecture revealed. It is only through dialogue and the example of others that those hurting can chip away at their layers hiding the image of Christ in them.
That’s why I think that in our parishes, we need to show Benedictine hospitality even to those we disagree with.