Shouold I be a spiritual director?

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Hi folks,
I’m wondering if you could share your (name removed by moderator)ut. For about 3 years I had excellent spiritual direction monthly. Due to distance, I had to quit (120 miles one way). So I know something about it (but that was also almost 15 years ago). I recently was quite surprised by a woman I know who asked if I would provide spiritual direction for her (she’s never had it, and we would do it via email). I was startled and shocked. While I think I am to some degree tuned in to the Holy Spirit, I see spiritual directors as people who are “quite holy” and have their lives in order, especially their prayer life. That’s not me. I do have some things “right”, but am so far from holy. I was humbled by her request and inspired to become a better person. I told her I’d pray about it. She knows me from an intimate Catholic mothers board we both belong to. There are times (many times, I guess) when I have said things that she (and possibly others) have perceived as being helpful in their journey to Christ.
What are your thoughts? (I am NOT looking to this as any kind of profession or offering the service to others.)
 
MatureMomG said:
Hi folks,
I’m wondering if you could share your (name removed by moderator)ut. For about 3 years I had excellent spiritual direction monthly. Due to distance, I had to quit (120 miles one way). So I know something about it (but that was also almost 15 years ago). I recently was quite surprised by a woman I know who asked if I would provide spiritual direction for her (she’s never had it, and we would do it via email). I was startled and shocked. While I think I am to some degree tuned in to the Holy Spirit, I see spiritual directors as people who are “quite holy” and have their lives in order, especially their prayer life. That’s not me. I do have some things “right”, but am so far from holy. I was humbled by her request and inspired to become a better person. I told her I’d pray about it. She knows me from an intimate Catholic mothers board we both belong to. There are times (many times, I guess) when I have said things that she (and possibly others) have perceived as being helpful in their journey to Christ.
What are your thoughts? (I am NOT looking to this as any kind of profession or offering the service to others.)
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Glad to hear you are doing well in your spiritual journey!

As far as being a spiritual director, I personally would advise you to not do so. Priests and actual spiritual directors receive a lot of formal training (I think) to advise and direct the spiritual lives of people. Think about it: This person is taking the weight of your immortal soul on their shoulders! It’s a big responsibility, and one that should not be taken lightly. I understand you may feel compelled to be a true “spiritual director” for this person, but sometimes it may not be the best thing for you to do, for the other person’s sake. I would leave this to the professionals: Priests and trained spiritual directors.
 
This person is taking the weight of your immortal soul on their shoulders! It’s a big responsibility, and one that should not be taken lightly. I understand you may feel compelled to be a true “spiritual director” for this person,

I know, that’s why I hesitate. I don’t feel “compelled” to do so, but I do think it is prudent to discern if it is the right thing for both of us.
 
Perhaps you could say, “I’m not trained to be a spiritual director, but if you’d like to meet for tea, I’d be happy to chat with you.”
 
Well, you could share your own faith journey with her, and how you yourself found a spiritual director, what to look for in a spiritual director, how to discern what spiritual charism resonates best with her, and point her in the right direction to finding a long-term, trained and formed director. You wouldn’t be cutting her off completely, and you’d be helping her find someone with the training, experience, and spirituality that would help her a lot more effectively. Be careful, though, and don’t offer any actual spiritual advice.
 
Regina_Love said:
Perhaps you could say, “I’m not trained to be a spiritual director, but if you’d like to meet for tea, I’d be happy to chat with you.”
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This was my first reaction. Maybe not to be a formal SD, but to be a close friend so that we can discuss aspects of our faith lives, even very deep ones. I can tell empathize with a friend and share thoughts and feelings, and together we can study and come up with exercises that we both can do. Such as, I don’t know, maybe like agreeing to observe something in particular about ourselves as we go on about our daily lives, to be discussed at our next meeting. The biggest difference I see is that neither of you takes responsibility for the other this way. You get the benefits of peer sharing.

So two good friends are gathered in the name of God, meaning God will be present.

Alan
 
Sounds like your friend is looking for fellowship with some one who has faith.

So, just talking is enough, which will help both of you spiritually, even though it’s technically, not formal spiritual direction.

Jim
 
Regina_Love said:
Perhaps you could say, “I’m not trained to be a spiritual director, but if you’d like to meet for tea, I’d be happy to chat with you.”
Click to expand...
I did this recently. Someone said that I seemed to be someone who “Gets it” and asked if she could speak with me. I just happened to be reading “Through Wind and Waves: On Being a Spiritual Guide” by Francis Fernández-Carvajal so I gave it a shot.

bks5.books.google.com/books?id=qRmbLPXf8TsC&printsec=frontcover&img=1&zoom=1&edge=curl&imgtk=AFLRE71rQRPYDAtnMNAM9GjSIaa4QhkjV1bkU-SmJaSXB7txZXKMH-KNR8W2CyUm1A4FogjAUF6yjIZfv16Yt9eezymdvkTiv7N4OA5PAuE9IfLZ–6tg9ew6QVXRxiVEBcxwhESvu24

I can honestly say that it is more difficult than it seems. The engineer in me wants to always be a problem solver, and it is very difficult to sit back, listen and let the holy spirit work through oneself, rather than trying to solve every problem with a well designed solution.

-Tim-
 
We are friends, we have talked about and do talk about life and faith issues. She has good solid Catholic fellowship in our on-line Catholic moms community. She’s not looking for a Bible study or “faith sharing” or empathizing (she already has that). She’s looking for someone to guide her on her faith journey as a spiritual director would.

I am still undecided. I trust the Holy Spirit, who really is the ultimate Spiritual Director. If I did take this on, I would look to Him for the way to go. Usually/ often His nudgings to me are pretty clear, in this they are not. To me, that doesn’t indicate a “No”, at least not at this point in my discernment. It means I need to pray more about it.

I am a good listener (better the older I get), and good at asking questions rather than problem solving. I am not looking for anything from her, but I suspect that if I do this, my own spiritual life will improve (just because I will be more diligent regarding my own prayer life).

Thanks for the replies. They are helpful. That book looks really interesting, I think I will order it.
 
I would talk to your spiritual director about it. If God is calling you to be a spiritual director, He will lead you to it through your spiritual director.
 
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